Grief experiences vary, challenging the linear model of the five stages of grief.
Differentiating between reactive grief reactions and proactive grief responses can aid in healing.
Deep dives
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's Five Stages of Grief
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross identified the five stages of grief as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Originally intended as a descriptive model, it morphed into a prescriptive framework in popular culture, shaping public perception of grief experiences. The five stages, while widely recognized, may not capture the diverse ways individuals navigate through loss, challenging the notion of a linear grief journey as depicted in the model.
Embracing Active Grief Response
Lucy Hone's personal journey through grief shifted her focus from reactive grief reactions, which are more uncontrollable like physical symptoms and emotional turmoil, towards proactive grief responses. By recognizing the distinction between reaction and response, individuals can engage in activities that promote healing and help them navigate the complexities of loss. Hone's emphasis on personal choice and active coping strategies offers a sense of agency in the grieving process.
Hunt the Good Stuff: Finding Resilience
Hone's resilience strategies draw from research on positive psychology, emphasizing the importance of deliberate attention to positive experiences amidst tragedy. By seeking moments of serenity, pride, and awe, individuals can counterbalance grief with moments of joy and connection. Hone's work underscores the significance of acknowledging both suffering and growth, promoting a holistic approach to navigating loss and finding meaning in adversity.
Growth Around Grief: The Reality of Time
Hone discusses how grief does not diminish with time but remains a constant presence, while life expands and evolves around it. Over the years, new experiences, relationships, and memories integrate with the grief, forming a circle around it. This perspective challenges the notion that time heals all wounds and emphasizes the coexistence of loss and growth in the ongoing journey of resilience and remembrance.
We’ve all heard about the five stages of grief. But what happens when your experience doesn’t follow that model at all? Resilience researcher Lucy Hone began to question how we think about grief after a devastating loss in her own life. She shares the techniques she learned to help her cope with tragedy.
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