

#3286
Mentioned in 8 episodes
Polysecure
Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy
Book • 2020
Polysecure by Jessica Fern is a comprehensive guide that integrates attachment theory with consensual nonmonogamy.
Fern, a polyamorous psychotherapist, introduces a nested model of attachment and trauma, explaining how emotional experiences influence relationships.
The book is divided into three parts: the first part explains attachment theory, the second part applies this theory to polyamorous relationships, and the third part offers practical strategies (using the HEARTS model) to foster secure attachments.
Fern emphasizes that secure attachment is not limited to monogamous relationships and can be learned and developed in adulthood, regardless of one's childhood experiences.
Fern, a polyamorous psychotherapist, introduces a nested model of attachment and trauma, explaining how emotional experiences influence relationships.
The book is divided into three parts: the first part explains attachment theory, the second part applies this theory to polyamorous relationships, and the third part offers practical strategies (using the HEARTS model) to foster secure attachments.
Fern emphasizes that secure attachment is not limited to monogamous relationships and can be learned and developed in adulthood, regardless of one's childhood experiences.
Mentioned by
















Mentioned in 8 episodes
Mentioned by 

as a book that has had a big impact on the non-monogamy world and uses attachment theory.


Joli Hamilton

38 snips
140 [Replay] Balancing Individuation & Secure Attachment with Polysecure Author Jessica Fern
Recommended by 

as an excellent resource on how attachment theory can intersect with non-monogamy.


Dedeker Winston

27 snips
532 - Is Attachment Theory Just Bullsh*t?
Mentioned by ![undefined]()

as a book with the best explanation of attachment and relationships.

Bria Tavakoli

PT567 – Sex and Psychedelics: Healing Through Altered States, with Bria Tavakoli, LPCC, MA, MS
Erwähnt von 

, als eines der Standardwerke zum Thema Polyamorie, das erst seit kurzem auf Deutsch verfügbar ist.


Sonja Jüngling

#86 - FAQ mit Timmy - Heimlichkeiten & soziale Gerechtigkeit
Mentioned by Fern when discussing emotional and structural security in relationships.

How to Open Your Relationship (and Actually Make It Work) ft. The Polyamory Therapy Collective
Recommended by ![undefined]()

as a resource for overcoming relationship anxiety through self-soothing.

Janice Formichella

Coping with Loneliness
Mentioned by 

as a friend and author of "Polysecure."


Scott Lyons

Where’s the Line? Redefining Cheating in the Digital Age
Mentioned by Kate, this book helped her realize she had an anxious attachment style.

S1 Ep. 9: Dating Separately (Part 2)
Mentioned by 

and ![undefined]()

while discussing ethical non-monogamy and its challenges.


Jordan Harbinger

Gabriel Mizrahi

699: Can An Open Marriage Be Anxiety-Free? | Feedback Friday
Mentioned by Lauren when discussing tools for navigating casual dating.

Ethical Casual Dating, Spicy Confessions, and Lessons from the Slut Era
Mentioned by 

as an author who writes about attachment theory and non-monogamy.


Joli Hamilton

189 [Replay] Can my attachment style do non-monogamy?
Mentioned by James as a great lens to look at a polyamorous relationship through.

Ep 382 - James
Mentioned by ![undefined]()

as a classic book on polyamory.

Michelle MiJung Kim

Am I Supposed To Sleep With One Person For The Rest Of My Life?
Mentioned by Kate as a helpful resource for working through their conflict and understanding their relationship dynamics.

S1 Ep. 10: Dating Separately (Part 3)
Recommended by 

for its valuable information on non-monogamy.


Andre Turcotte

C is for Consensual Non-Monogamy, Communication and ... Cookies!
Mentioned by ![undefined]()

, referring to Jessica Fern’s expertise in polyamory and attachment theory.

Michelle MiJung Kim

BONUS: Live Recording At San Francisco Human Rights Summit