#4101

Mentioned in 9 episodes

Polysecure

Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy

Book • 2020

Polysecure by Jessica Fern is a comprehensive guide that integrates attachment theory with consensual nonmonogamy.

Fern, a polyamorous psychotherapist, introduces a nested model of attachment and trauma, explaining how emotional experiences influence relationships.

The book is divided into three parts: the first part explains attachment theory, the second part applies this theory to polyamorous relationships, and the third part offers practical strategies (using the HEARTS model) to foster secure attachments.

Fern emphasizes that secure attachment is not limited to monogamous relationships and can be learned and developed in adulthood, regardless of one's childhood experiences.

Mentioned by

Dedeker Winston

Sonja Jüngling

Jordan Harbinger

Janice Formichella

Gabriel Mizrahi

Nicoletta Heidegger

Mentioned in 9 episodes

Mentioned by

Joli Hamilton

as a book that has had a big impact on the non-monogamy world and uses attachment theory.

140 [Replay] Balancing Individuation & Secure Attachment with Polysecure Author Jessica Fern

Recommended by

Dedeker Winston

as an excellent resource on how attachment theory can intersect with non-monogamy.

532 - Is Attachment Theory Just Bullsh*t?

Mentioned by Fern when discussing emotional and structural security in relationships.

How to Open Your Relationship (and Actually Make It Work) ft. The Polyamory Therapy Collective

Mentioned by

Bria Tavakoli

as a book with the best explanation of attachment and relationships.

PT567 – Sex and Psychedelics: Healing Through Altered States, with Bria Tavakoli, LPCC, MA, MS

Mentioned by

Scott Lyons

as a friend and author of "Polysecure."

Where’s the Line? Redefining Cheating in the Digital Age

Erwähnt von

Sonja Jüngling

, als eines der Standardwerke zum Thema Polyamorie, das erst seit kurzem auf Deutsch verfügbar ist.

#86 - FAQ mit Timmy - Heimlichkeiten & soziale Gerechtigkeit

Recommended by

Janice Formichella

as a resource for overcoming relationship anxiety through self-soothing.

Coping with Loneliness

Mentioned when

Dean Spade

references a chart in the book about relationship exclusivity.

Community Through Promiscuity

Mentioned by Kate, this book helped her realize she had an anxious attachment style.

S1 Ep. 9: Dating Separately (Part 2)

Mentioned by

George Lizos

as a book he has read and whose author he had on the podcast.

Ep.70: Healing in Relationship – The Inner Work You Can’t Do Alone

Recommended by

Andre Turcotte

for its valuable information on non-monogamy.

C is for Consensual Non-Monogamy, Communication and ... Cookies!

Mentioned by

Jordan Harbinger

and

Gabriel Mizrahi

while discussing ethical non-monogamy and its challenges.

699: Can An Open Marriage Be Anxiety-Free? | Feedback Friday

Mentioned by Lauren when discussing tools for navigating casual dating.

Ethical Casual Dating, Spicy Confessions, and Lessons from the Slut Era

Mentioned by

Joli Hamilton

as an author who writes about attachment theory and non-monogamy.

189 [Replay] Can my attachment style do non-monogamy?

Mentioned by James as a great lens to look at a polyamorous relationship through.

Mentioned by

Jessica Fern

as a book about trauma, non-monogamy, and attachment theory.

Transforming Shame with Parts Work: The Self-Love Triangle

Recommended by

Nicoletta Heidegger

as a great book for those looking to get started with polyamory.

The Truth About Polyamory—From a Therapist Who Knows | Dr. Tara & Nicoletta

Mentioned by

Joli Hamilton

as

Jessica Fern

's book that trailblazed into the world, bringing attachment theory and making it digestible.

227 Transforming Shame into Love with Jessica Fern and David Cooley

Mentioned by a caller as a resource they consulted with their husband to give ethical non-monogamy a shot.

Savage Lovecast Episode 991

Mentioned regarding deep, secure connections that replace insecurity in open relationships.

How Psychedelics May Shift Polyamory with Justin Natoli - Ep 44

The AI-powered Podcast Player

Save insights by tapping your headphones, chat with episodes, discover the best highlights - and more!

App store banner

Play store banner