Playing With Fire 140 [Replay] Balancing Individuation & Secure Attachment with Polysecure Author Jessica Fern
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Jan 20, 2024 
Jessica Fern, a psychotherapist and author specializing in non-monogamy and attachment theory, dives into the intricate balance between secure attachment and individuation. She discusses how awareness of attachment styles can reshape relationships, especially in non-monogamous contexts. Jealousy and parental guilt are explored, along with methods to address these emotions for healthier connections. Jessica also touches on shame and its link to trauma, emphasizing the need for self-compassion and effective communication in navigating complex relational dynamics.
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Attachment Theory in Polyamory
- Jessica Fern's book, Polysecure, focuses on attachment theory because it addresses the core struggles of people in polyamorous relationships.
- She observed that people were describing attachment ruptures, even without using the theoretical language.
Attachment-Based Relationships
- Consider whether you want an attachment-based relationship with each partner.
- Not all relationships need to be deeply emotionally entwined.
IFS in Non-Monogamy
- Jessica Fern incorporates Internal Family Systems (IFS) theory alongside attachment theory.
- IFS helps explore different "parts" of a person that may have conflicting desires about non-monogamy.
