Playing With Fire
140 [Replay] Balancing Individuation & Secure Attachment with Polysecure Author Jessica Fern
Jan 20, 2024
Jessica Fern, a psychotherapist and author specializing in non-monogamy and attachment theory, dives into the intricate balance between secure attachment and individuation. She discusses how awareness of attachment styles can reshape relationships, especially in non-monogamous contexts. Jealousy and parental guilt are explored, along with methods to address these emotions for healthier connections. Jessica also touches on shame and its link to trauma, emphasizing the need for self-compassion and effective communication in navigating complex relational dynamics.
54:12
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Quick takeaways
- Understanding different attachment styles, such as anxious and avoidant, helps individuals navigate connection patterns in non-monogamous relationships.
- Jealousy can be a catalyst for personal growth if approached as an opportunity to explore underlying insecurities and relational needs.
Deep dives
Understanding Attachment Styles in Non-Monogamy
Attachment styles play a critical role in shaping individual experiences in non-monogamous relationships. Many individuals categorize themselves as either anxious or avoidant, impacting their ability to connect with multiple partners. For example, avoidant individuals may struggle with intimacy, opting to isolate themselves from potential partners, while anxious individuals may over-function in relationships, seeking constant reassurance. Recognizing these tendencies helps individuals understand their interaction patterns and can inform their relational agreements and expectations moving forward.
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