699: Can An Open Marriage Be Anxiety-Free? | Feedback Friday
Jul 15, 2022
Exploring the nuances of open marriages, the conversation dives into the benefits and challenges of incorporating BDSM and ethical non-monogamy. With a focus on one partner's mental health struggles, the discussion highlights the essential role of communication and support. Listeners learn about navigating jealousy, guilt from financial success, and complex family dynamics, all while emphasizing the importance of trust, intimacy, and aftercare in relationships. The episode offers valuable insights for couples seeking to balance love and freedom.
55:39
forum Ask episode
web_stories AI Snips
view_agenda Chapters
menu_book Books
auto_awesome Transcript
info_circle Episode notes
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Navigating Open Relationships and Mental Health
Consider couples therapy to improve communication and address conflicts in your open relationship.
Honestly assess if the emotional cost of the arrangement outweighs the benefits, prioritizing your marriage's well-being.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Managing Guilt Around Money
Examine the underlying beliefs causing your guilt about spending money.
Balance your parents' frugality with your own financial goals, enjoying your success without overspending.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Addressing a Husband's Lying
Address your husband's lying directly, focusing on its impact on your relationship, not his mother's behavior.
Help him understand the root causes of his dishonesty, such as fear of conflict or anxiety about finances, with empathy and open communication.
Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode
Polysecure by Jessica Fern is a comprehensive guide that integrates attachment theory with consensual nonmonogamy. Fern, a polyamorous psychotherapist, introduces a nested model of attachment and trauma, explaining how emotional experiences influence relationships. The book is divided into three parts: the first part explains attachment theory, the second part applies this theory to polyamorous relationships, and the third part offers practical strategies (using the HEARTS model) to foster secure attachments. Fern emphasizes that secure attachment is not limited to monogamous relationships and can be learned and developed in adulthood, regardless of one's childhood experiences.
I will teach you to be rich
Ramit Sethi
This book, updated for a new era, provides a simple and powerful 6-week program to manage finances. Ramit Sethi focuses on behavioral psychology to help readers save more, earn more, and automate their finances. Key lessons include focusing on big wins rather than small savings, automating financial tasks, and spending guilt-free on things you love while cutting back on unnecessary expenses. The book also covers topics like crushing debt, setting up high-interest bank accounts, and long-term investing in index funds.
Your wife and you agree that introducing BDSM and ethical non-monogamy into your marriage has brought you some of the happiest and closest times in your relationship. On the other side of the coin, this new level of communication and honesty has made her more vulnerable than ever to the anxiety and depression she's suffered since childhood. Is there a way to get past the bad without giving up the good this lifestyle provides, or should you just go back to the way things were before? Welcome to Feedback Friday!
And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in!
Opening your marriage and indulging in BDSM fantasies have brought you and your wife closer than ever, but there's a big downside: it sometimes triggers the anxiety and depression she's experienced since childhood. Is this lifestyle worth the trouble, or should you consider this a failed experiment and go back to the way things were before?
Growing up without much in the way of money or luxury, you can't get past feeling guilty now that you have a well-paying job and can finally afford some of the nicer things you've missed out on -- especially when so many of your peers are in debt. Do you deserve to feel guilty for having it good when others don't?
Your mother-in-law is a pathological liar. When she's not telling blatant untruths, she's omitting important details -- like your father-in-law's cancer. Worse, a lifetime spent with her seems to have rubbed off on your husband, who clearly has a problem with honesty. Is it possible to break this cycle and actually trust your family?
You've decided to seek help for your addiction by going to rehab, but how do you break the news to your employers -- at a job you find fulfilling and don't want to lose -- that you'll need to be gone for six weeks?
Your husband has never been emotionally available, and even warned you at the start of your relationship that he'd probably never be able to really open up to you. After a conversation with his sister, you discovered he was bullied as a child by his alcoholic father to the point of self-harm that landed him in the hospital. Do you patiently wait for him to tell you this huge secret, or do you confront him and disclose that you know this piece of his puzzle?
Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
The Jordan Harbinger Show 
