In this book, Esther Perel explores the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, arguing that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor can be antithetical to erotic desire. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel uses case studies and lively discussions to demonstrate how more exciting, playful, and poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. She emphasizes the importance of maintaining independence, mystery, and the space between self and other to sustain desire.
In this book, Michael Pollan delves into the history of psychedelic drugs, from their rise in the 1960s to their current resurgence in medical research. He combines historical and scientific analysis with personal narratives of his own experiences with psychedelics, such as LSD and psilocybin. The book explores how these substances are being used to treat conditions like depression, addiction, and anxiety, and discusses their potential to revolutionize our understanding of the human mind and consciousness. Pollan's work is a blend of science, memoir, and travel writing, offering a nuanced and engaging look at the therapeutic and spiritual benefits of psychedelics[1][2][4].
Polysecure by Jessica Fern is a comprehensive guide that integrates attachment theory with consensual nonmonogamy. Fern, a polyamorous psychotherapist, introduces a nested model of attachment and trauma, explaining how emotional experiences influence relationships. The book is divided into three parts: the first part explains attachment theory, the second part applies this theory to polyamorous relationships, and the third part offers practical strategies (using the HEARTS model) to foster secure attachments. Fern emphasizes that secure attachment is not limited to monogamous relationships and can be learned and developed in adulthood, regardless of one's childhood experiences.
In 'Come as You Are', Emily Nagoski and Blanca González Villegas delve into the latest scientific research on human sexuality, offering insights and practical advice to improve sexual well-being. The book addresses various aspects of sex, including desire, arousal, and the complexities of sexual response, aiming to help readers understand and enhance their sexual experiences.
Published in 1954, 'Story of O' is an erotic novel written by Dominique Aury under the pseudonym Pauline Réage. The story follows O, a beautiful Parisian fashion photographer, who is taken by her lover René to a secret society at Roissy, where she is subjected to various forms of sexual abuse, bondage, and humiliation. The novel explores themes of submission, devotion, and the objectification of women, sparking significant controversy and debate upon its release. Aury wrote the novel as a series of erotic letters to her lover, Jean Paulhan, and it has since become a classic of erotic literature despite its controversial nature[2][4][5].
In this episode, Joe interviews Bria Tavakoli, LPCC, MA, MS: a therapist specializing in relational and sex therapy, with a focus on helping clients integrate psychedelic experiences.
She shares her personal journey with psychedelics and how they unlocked deep trauma, allowing her to develop a level of comfort with intimacy, love, and her sexuality. She talks about the parallels between psychedelic journeys and sexual experiences, and how both can be gateways to unexplored parts of ourselves, as well as catalysts for healing and transformation. She discusses society’s cultural shame surrounding our sexuality, why we need to view sexuality from a wellness-based model, and how psychedelics can help couples grow together, and at times, really challenge their relational structures. When asked how to combine sex and psychedelics, she answers, “very carefully.”
She also discusses:
- The immense importance of creating a safe space for couples discussing their intimacy
- How clients reporting sexual concerns is usually a cheat code to determining what their real issues are
- Ethical and practical considerations for combining psychedelics and sex therapy, related to stories of concerning sexual behavior in the space
- Why humor and lightness is so important in this work
- The importance of honoring individual capacity and being true to yourself when exploring new experiences
and more!
For links, head to the show notes page.
Psychedelics Today 
