Setting clear boundaries can reduce stress and cognitive fatigue, leading to better overall health.
Recognizing codependency and establishing healthy boundaries empowers individuals to prioritize their well-being and establish healthier relationship dynamics.
The connection between emotional well-being and boundary setting is crucial, and by setting clear boundaries, managing emotional labor, and prioritizing self-care, individuals can experience improved emotional wellness and overall health.
Deep dives
Setting Boundaries for Better Health
Setting boundaries is crucial for our mental and physical health. In this podcast episode, Terry Cole, a psychotherapist and author of the book 'Boundary Boss', shares insights on the importance of boundaries. She highlights that traumas, emotional stressors, and toxic relationships can be as damaging to our health as physical factors like diet and exercise. Cole emphasizes the need to set clear boundaries and communicate them effectively. She provides helpful techniques for establishing boundaries, such as differentiating between healthy helping and unhealthy helping, and prioritizing self-care. By setting boundaries, we can reduce stress and cognitive fatigue, leading to better overall health.
Understanding Codependency and High Functioning Codependency
Cole delves into the concept of codependency and its impact on our lives. She defines codependency as being overly invested in the thoughts, feelings, and outcomes of others to our own detriment. She also introduces the idea of high-functioning codependency, where individuals may appear capable and helpful on the surface, but still struggle with boundaries and enabling behaviors. She provides insights into the importance of recognizing resentments, setting healthy boundaries, and allowing others to take responsibility for their actions. Cole's approach focuses on empowering individuals to prioritize their own well-being, separate their feelings from others', and establish healthier relationship dynamics.
The Connection Between Boundaries and Emotional Wellness
Cole emphasizes the strong connection between emotional well-being and boundary setting. She highlights the impact of disordered boundaries on our mental and physical health, including the development of autoimmune disorders, migraines, and TMJ. She emphasizes the need for a holistic approach that addresses both mental and physical wellness. Cole shares personal experiences and insights to help listeners understand the importance of boundaries in maintaining emotional balance. By setting clear boundaries, managing emotional labor, and prioritizing self-care, individuals can experience improved emotional wellness and overall health.
Navigating Menopause and Boundaries
Cole discusses the significance of boundaries during the menopausal years. She explains that the decreased estrogen levels during menopause can make individuals more susceptible to stress and its negative effects. She highlights the importance of prioritizing oneself, setting boundaries, and reducing cognitive fatigue. Cole encourages women going through menopause to reevaluate their priorities, invite support, and ask for help when needed. She emphasizes that practicing self-love and establishing healthy boundaries is particularly important during this stage of life to maintain balance and promote overall well-being.
The Role of Empathy and Intuition in Boundary Setting
Cole acknowledges that many individuals who struggle with boundaries also identify as empaths and highly sensitive people. She highlights the importance of understanding one's own energy, protecting it, and creating healthy boundaries. Cole shares that being intuitive and empathetic can be incredible strengths, but they need to be managed in a way that doesn't lead to exhaustion or codependency. By learning to discern one's own emotions from others' and setting boundaries around energy and emotional labor, individuals can cultivate healthier relationships and preserve their own well-being.
This episode is about setting better boundaries, protecting your energy, and ditching your codependent tendencies.
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free. She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change.
