130. Breaking Cycles & Reparenting Yourself with Dr. Becky Kennedy
Sep 13, 2022
01:10:30
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Quick takeaways
Acknowledge triggers as opportunities for personal growth and self-awareness.
Recognize the significance of self-compassion in breaking family cycles and promoting authentic connections.
Embrace the belief that individuals, including kids, are inherently good inside to foster truth and authentic relationships.
Deep dives
Discovering Self-Trust and Reclaiming Authenticity
The podcast episode delves into the concept of recovering from societal pressures and reclaiming personal identity. It emphasizes the importance of trusting one's emotions, dreams, and instincts to live authentically. By exploring the teachings of the guest, Doctor Becky, the episode highlights the premise that individuals are inherently good and deserve self-trust. This process of self-recovery involves examining and resisting external influences that suppress one's true self.
Parenting as a Journey of Reparenting and Embracing Authenticity
The discussion expands to focus on the role of parenting as a form of reparenting ourselves and others. Doctor Becky's insights challenge traditional parenting norms by promoting self-compassion and self-awareness. By nurturing the belief that individuals are inherently good, the podcast suggests a transformative approach to familial relationships. It advocates for embracing authenticity over conformity, fostering a new way of human connection that transcends conventional norms.
Understanding Triggers and Embracing Growth in Relationships
The episode explores the concept of triggers and their impact on personal growth within relationships. Doctor Becky highlights how triggers, often experienced in close relationships, reflect unresolved issues from one's past. By recognizing triggers as opportunities for self-evolution, individuals can address deep-seated emotions and develop self-awareness. The discussion underscores the importance of being inspired by triggers, viewing them as catalysts for personal growth and introspection.
Understanding Internal Family Systems and Parts
Internal Family Systems introduces the concept that our minds consist of various parts, not just one unified entity. These parts develop as we grow based on our experiences and attachment lessons. Protector parts and manager parts play roles in managing and protecting us, often stemming from childhood experiences. Through therapy, these extreme parts can become more moderate, aligning with our adult needs.
Reframing Goodness and Lying in Relationships
The belief that we are inherently good inside can revolutionize how we view ourselves, partners, kids, and strangers. Understanding lying as a mechanism to preserve attachment sheds light on why individuals, even children, lie. Lying can stem from a need to maintain closeness and avoid judgment or punishment. Parents recognizing the reasons behind lying can create a safer space for truth and authentic connections.
1. The 3 most important things to say to your kids and partners every day.
2. Why our kids trigger us – and a fail-proof strategy to use when you’re triggered.
3. Why “poorly-behaved kids” can be a sign of good parenting.
4. How to break family cycles by rewiring the way we were raised.
5. How to use Internal Family Systems to heal ourselves.
About Dr. Becky:
Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist and mom of three, named “The Millennial Parenting Whisperer” by TIME Magazine. She’s rethinking the way we raise our children – empowering parents to feel sturdier and more equipped to manage the challenges of parenting. Dr. Becky is founder of the Good Inside Membership platform, a hub with Dr. Becky’s complete parenting content collection all in one place; author of Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be, which is out this month. And her podcast “Good Inside with Dr. Becky” – was one of Apple Podcasts “Best Shows of 2021.”