10% Happier with Dan Harris That Feeling of “Always-Behind and Never-Enough”—Here’s the Antidote | Ellen Hendriksen
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May 19, 2025 
In this engaging discussion, clinical psychologist Ellen Hendriksen dives into the intricacies of perfectionism and its deep ties to anxiety. She shares her own struggles with perfectionism, offering insights on how to shift from self-criticism to self-compassion. Listeners will appreciate her practical strategies for maintaining high standards while embracing flexibility and mistakes. Ellen also explores the dangers of social comparison and emphasizes the importance of authenticity in personal growth, making this a must-listen for anyone seeking self-acceptance.
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Ellen's Personal Perfectionism Journey
- Ellen Hendriksen confesses to past perfectionism impacting her social and professional life and productivity.
- She linked harsh self-criticism with an unhealthy perfectionism mindset that equates performance with self-worth.
Perfectionism: Misunderstood Root Cause
- Perfectionism means demanding performance beyond what's needed for the situation, not striving for flawless perfection.
- It's rooted in never feeling good enough, tying our self-worth to meeting unrealistically high standards.
Perfectionism's Evolutionary Roots
- Perfectionism evolved as an interpersonal strategy to gain acceptance and avoid rejection, not just a personal issue.
- Our need to perform well is driven by a fundamental desire for love, belonging, and safety within a group.
