Light Up The Couch

Listening for Shame in Psychotherapy, Ep. 157

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Aug 18, 2022
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ANECDOTE

Transformation Through Shame Work

  • Cynthia Mulder recounts joining a Shame Resilience group at the Menninger Clinic after discovering Brené Brown.
  • That experience transformed her personally and professionally and taught her to listen for hidden shame in callers and patients.
INSIGHT

Shame Versus Guilt And Embarrassment

  • Cynthia Mulder distinguishes embarrassment, humiliation, guilt, and shame by focus, duration, and social meaning.
  • She summarizes the core difference: guilt is "I made a mistake" and shame is "I am a mistake."
INSIGHT

Shame Is Learned Relationally

  • Cynthia Mulder explains shame is learned in relationship and often becomes an internalized self-attack.
  • She calls shame a reflexive response to ruptured expectant hope and says it starts as a two-person experience.
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