Lex Fridman Podcast #364 – Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator
1400 snips
Mar 10, 2023 
Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator and author of 'Never Split the Difference,' shares his insights on negotiation techniques. He delves into the emotional dynamics of hostage situations and the critical role of empathy in negotiations. Voss discusses the tactical use of mirroring and silence to build rapport, as well as the importance of understanding diverse perspectives in high-stakes scenarios. He challenges common myths about negotiating with terrorists and highlights the need for effective communication to foster meaningful connections.
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Fake Negotiations
- The toughest negotiations arise when the other side pretends to negotiate but isn't genuinely interested.
- This is evident when they make impossible demands or avoid direct communication.
Feelings Over Reason
- In negotiations, understanding the other side's feelings is key, even in kidnappings.
- Their feelings drive their decisions, not reason or logic.
Empathy vs. Sympathy
- Chris Voss illustrates how empathy is based on what one cares about, not agreement.
- He uses a hypothetical scenario with a shark and Adolf Hitler to emphasize the point.
