Gabor Maté: Why Your Trauma is Showing Up as Guilt, Fear, and Shame & How to Untrap Yourself from the Past

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Feb 12, 2024

Dr. Gabor Maté, a renowned speaker and author, explores the intricate ways trauma surfaces as guilt, fear, and shame. He emphasizes the journey toward authenticity, advocating for self-acceptance over seeking external approval. Gabor reveals how unresolved trauma can impact our identities and relationships, stressing the importance of self-awareness in healing. He shares insights on personal growth and the five regrets of dying individuals, guiding us to live more aligned with our true values while embracing vulnerability as a key to overcoming emotional wounds.

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ADVICE

Reconnecting with Authenticity

Notice when you are not being your authentic self, like avoiding saying "no" or "yes".
Reflect on how this inauthenticity makes you feel and identify the underlying beliefs driving it.

insights

INSIGHT

Fear into Anxiety

Fear is a natural response, but when help isn't available, it morphs into chronic anxiety.
Untended childhood fear becomes generalized anxiety, creating a constant sense of unsafety.

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ADVICE

Helping Those Who Reject Help

Accept people's rejection of help without pushing your assistance onto them.
Offer support and be open, but allow life's challenges to teach them they need help.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

The Path to Authenticity: Healing from Trauma and Regret

02:24 • 3min

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Healing from Within: Embracing Wholeness

05:51 • 17min

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Embracing Personal Growth and Relationship Health

22:44 • 3min

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Fear, Trauma, and the Quest for Authenticity

26:02 • 19min

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Understanding the Role and Impact of Guilt in Personal Development

45:31 • 5min

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The Dance of Dependency and Identity

50:35 • 6min

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Navigating Trauma and Healing

57:02 • 22min

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Embracing Vulnerability on the Path to Healing

01:19:04 • 3min

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Mindfulness in plain English

Henepola Gunaratana

This book is a detailed introduction to mindfulness and meditation, particularly focusing on the Vipassana (insight) meditation practice from the Theravada Buddhist tradition. It addresses common misconceptions about meditation, provides practical advice on developing a meditation practice, and includes chapters on loving-kindness and concentration. The book is designed for both beginners and established students, offering guidance on overcoming challenges during meditation and integrating mindfulness into everyday life.

The Body Keeps the Score

Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

Bessel van der Kolk

In this book, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma reshapes both the body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores various treatments, including neurofeedback, meditation, sports, drama, and yoga, which activate the brain’s natural neuroplasticity to aid in recovery. The book emphasizes the power of relationships in both causing and healing trauma and offers hope through descriptions of novel approaches to treatment. It is based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists in the field.

The top five regrets of the dying

Bronnie Ware

In this book, Bronnie Ware shares her experiences from working in palliative care, where she identified the five most common regrets of the dying. These regrets include: 'I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me,' 'I wish I hadn’t worked so hard,' 'I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings,' 'I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends,' and 'I wish that I had let myself be happier. ' The book provides a heartfelt and inspiring account of how these regrets can be addressed while there is still time, promoting a life of greater compassion, honesty, and happiness.

The Myth of Normal

Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture

Gabor Maté

Daniel Maté

In this book, Gabor Maté and his son Daniel Maté challenge the prevailing understanding of 'normal' health, arguing that Western medicine often neglects the impact of trauma, stress, and modern-day living on our bodies and minds. They connect the dots between individual health issues and the broader societal problems, offering a compassionate guide for health and healing. The book is based on over four decades of clinical experience and is supported by extensive scientific research, patient stories, and personal disclosures.

Blessed with a Brain Tumor

Realizing It's All Gift and Learning to Receive

Will Pye

In 'Blessed with a Brain Tumor', Will Pye shares his journey of spiritual awakening after being diagnosed with a brain tumor. The book explores themes of love, surrender, death, guidance, purpose, and oneness, offering a path from victimhood to empowerment. It combines philosophy with practical exercises to align readers with their inner guidance and live a more meaningful life.

Why does trauma manifest as guilt and shame?

How do we untrap ourselves from the past?

Today, we welcome back renowned speaker on addiction, stress, and childhood development, Dr. Gabor Maté. They dive into the core of human identity and explore the delicate balance between being yourself and seeking acceptance, discovering the liberating truth that authenticity is the ultimate path to self-discovery. Gain insights into the complexities of the human emotional landscape and learn how to navigate and process fear, a powerful force that often holds us captive.

Gabor talks about the top five regrets of dying people - a profound insight that serve as a compass, guiding us to live a life aligned with our deepest values and aspirations. He also talks about the intricacies of guilt and shares wisdom on how we can untrap ourselves from it, the universality of pain and trauma, the synergy between logic and creativity in problem-solving.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to live with fear and anxiety

How to deal with deep-rooted trauma

How to handle grief and pain

How to improve your personal growth

Together, let's explore the infinite possibilities that unfold when we awaken to our true potential and embrace a mindset of continuous growth.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

03:56 How Do You Heal a Broken Man?

07:34 Tell Me Who You Are

11:33 The Small Still Voice Within Us

13:19 Be Yourself or Be Accepted But not Both at the Same Time

17:10 What Are the Most Common Emotions We Feel Everyday?

20:26 How Can We Process and Heal From Fear

28:11 How Can You Help Someone Who Refused to Be Helped?

31:06 The Top Five Regrets of Dying People

36:09 How Do We Untrap Ourselves From Guilt?

43:03 There’s No Path Without Pain, So Choose Which Path to Take

46:53 Embrace Your Freedom Responsibly

48:46 There’s No Hierarchy in Pain and Trauma

51:07 What is Integrative Thinking?

59:27 The Book “Blessed with a Brain Tumor”

01:02:00 Can I Continue to Grow?

01:04:15 How Do Emotions Translate to Physical Reality?

01:13:13 If We Could Just Wake Up to Our Possibilities

Episode Resources:

Dr. Gabor Maté | Website

Dr. Gabor Maté | Instagram

Dr. Gabor Maté | Twitter

Dr. Gabor Maté | YouTube

Dr. Gabor Maté | Facebook

The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture

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