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The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish
#139 Laurie Santos: The Pursuit of Happiness
Jun 14, 2022
Leading psychology professor and happiness expert Laurie Santos talks about the factors that contribute to happiness, misconceptions about what makes us happy, the role of rituals in happiness, challenges of measuring happiness, changing perspectives and appreciating life, influence of genetics and environment on happiness, unintended consequences of overprotective parenting, the role of boundaries in happiness, and recognizing and preventing burnout.
01:42:11
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Quick takeaways
- Lasting happiness comes from social connection, acts of kindness, and being present in the moment.
- Short-term and long-term happiness can be maximized by prioritizing activities such as social connection, kindness, and presence.
- Principles for happiness are universal and include social connection, kindness, physical activity, and non-judgmental interaction with negative emotions.
- Establishing healthy boundaries in relationships contributes to happiness by improving social connection, engagement in flow-inducing activities, and overall well-being.
Deep dives
The Definition of Happiness
Happiness is defined as a sense of being happy in one's life and with one's life. It consists of experiencing positive emotions, such as joy and contentment, and feeling satisfied with one's life overall.
Misconceptions About Happiness
People often have misconceptions about what will make them happy. They believe that achieving certain accomplishments or acquiring material possessions will bring lasting happiness. However, research shows that these external factors only provide temporary boosts in happiness. Lasting happiness comes from other sources, such as social connection, doing kind acts for others, and being present in the moment.
The Impact of Social Comparison and Hedonic Adaptation
Social comparison and hedonic adaptation play a role in our happiness. We tend to compare ourselves to others and often focus on reference points that make us feel inadequate. Additionally, we adapt to positive experiences over time, so the initial boost in happiness that comes from achieving something or acquiring material possessions diminishes. This leads to a perpetual cycle of seeking more accomplishments or possessions to attain happiness, but never truly reaching satisfaction.
Balancing Short-Term and Long-Term Happiness
There is often a perceived conflict between short-term happiness and long-term happiness. However, many practices that promote short-term happiness, such as social connection, doing acts of kindness, and being present, also contribute to long-term happiness. By prioritizing these activities, one can maximize happiness in both the present and the future.
Universal principles for happiness
The podcast explores the idea that certain principles for happiness are universal, regardless of culture or age. The speaker highlights the importance of social connection, kindness, presence, physical activity, and non-judgmental interaction with negative emotions. These principles have been found to contribute to happiness and well-being across different populations and age groups.
The impact of technology on loneliness
The podcast discusses how technology, particularly smartphones, can contribute to feelings of loneliness. The constant attention to phones and technology can lead to missed opportunities for in-person social interactions and can result in a sense of disconnection. The speaker emphasizes the need to be more mindful of technology use and its impact on social connection.
Evidence-based approaches for feeling better
The podcast explores evidence-based approaches to improve one's well-being. These approaches include practicing gratitude, performing acts of kindness, engaging in physical exercise, improving sleep habits, and being mindful of attention and presence. Research supports the effectiveness of these strategies in promoting happiness and life satisfaction.
The importance of setting boundaries
The podcast highlights the significance of setting boundaries in relationships and achieving happiness. Establishing healthy boundaries involves paying attention to bid for attention from others and responding positively. It also involves creating time affluence by prioritizing leisure, managing time effectively, and reducing time famine. Setting boundaries allows for better social connection, engagement in flow-inducing activities, and improved well-being.
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