The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish

#27 Chris Voss: The Art of Letting Other People Have Your Way

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Jan 3, 2018

Chris Voss, a former FBI kidnapping negotiator and author of "Never Split the Difference," shares his expertise on negotiation techniques. He discusses the art of letting the other party speak first and the use of calibrated questions to uncover valuable insights. Voss reveals the psychological strategies behind effective negotiation, such as emotional intelligence and tactical empathy. He also warns against the dangers of compromise, advocating for optimal solutions instead. Personal anecdotes illustrate the importance of trust and active listening in negotiations.

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ANECDOTE

Accidental Negotiator

Chris Voss became an FBI hostage negotiator accidentally, initially aiming for law enforcement.
A recurring knee injury shifted his path from SWAT to negotiation.

INSIGHT

Perishable Skills

Negotiation skills are perishable and erode invisibly over time.
Regular practice and feedback are crucial for maintaining sharpness.

ADVICE

Go Second

Let the other side speak first in a negotiation.
This saves time and provides valuable information.

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Getting to yes

negotiating agreement without giving in

William Ury

Roger Drummer Fisher

Bruce Patton

Getting to Yes, written by Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton, introduces the concept of principled negotiation. This approach separates the people from the problem, focuses on interests rather than positions, invents options for mutual gain, and insists on using objective criteria. The book provides strategies to manage emotions, avoid common negotiation traps, and deal with 'dirty tricks' used by other parties. It emphasizes the importance of understanding the other side's perceptions, managing misperceptions, and creating a collaborative environment to reach agreements that satisfy both parties[1][4][5].

Never Split the Difference

Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

Tahl Raz

Chris Voss

VOSS/RAZ

This book, written by former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss and co-author Tahl Raz, provides a masterclass in influencing others through negotiation. It distills the Voss method, revealing skills such as establishing rapport, creating trust with tactical empathy, and transforming conflict into collaboration. The book is filled with real-life examples from Voss's career, illustrating how these techniques can be applied in both professional and personal life to achieve goals and defuse potential crises.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Stephen R Covey

This book, first published in 1989, outlines seven habits that are designed to help individuals become more effective in their personal and professional lives. The habits are grouped into three categories: Private Victory (habits 1-3), Public Victory (habits 4-6), and Renewal (habit 7). The habits include being proactive, beginning with the end in mind, putting first things first, thinking win-win, seeking first to understand and then to be understood, synergizing, and sharpening the saw. Covey emphasizes the importance of personal integrity, effective time management, empathetic communication, and continuous self-improvement[2][5][4].