We do so much grieving in our lifetimes. And not just about the deaths of loved ones—every time there is a change in our lives, we lose an old version of something. That loss can bring up big feelings, and channeling those feelings into an intentional, conscious process of grieving can be hugely beneficial for your life and your relationships. Grieving relational change is a skill, and we made this episode to help you start building that skill, and to explore the complex web of emotions that come up when relationships evolve. In this episode, we talk about: — Expanding our understanding of grief beyond just death and loss — The difference between grieving and mourning — Why even positive changes can bring up feelings of grief — Real, imagined, conscious, and subconscious relationship futures — How to grieve the "imagined future" when relationships shift — The importance of acknowledging and processing grief during relationship transitions — Different methods of mourning, including rituals and symbolic action — Why avoiding grief work can keep us stuck and slow personal growth — How to approach grieving as a rite of passage — The value of community support when processing relationship changes JOIN The Year of Opening community for a full year of learning & support. Registration is open now at ⁠⁠www.TheYearOfOpening.com⁠⁠ Learn the 5 secrets to open your relationship the smart way Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com Get the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! Sign up for an Ask Me Anything here Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions

If you have a hard time keeping relationship agreements, you probably also have a hard time keeping the agreements you make with yourself. If that’s you, or if you’ve never even tried to make self-agreements, you have to listen to this episode. This process shouldn’t feel like a punishment—I want you to make agreements with yourself that you actually want to uphold. And that’s not always a straightforward process. If you’re struggling, you’re so not alone. This isn’t entry-level work—it requires real skill-building, and we’re breaking down that learning process so you can start fostering integrity and consent with yourself. In this episode, we talk about: — Why some people struggle to stick to the agreements they've made — How past relationship experiences and attachment styles influence our approaches to agreements — The role of unconscious factors in undermining our commitments — Why self-agreement keeping is the first step to keeping agreements with other people — The benefits that come with not naturally being good at upholding agreements — Balancing flexibility with reliability in relationships — How to create effective response plans for when agreements aren't met — The importance of written agreements and reminders — Why punitive consequences often backfire, and how to use educative repercussions instead — Practical tools for improving agreement-making and follow-through Resources mentioned in this episode: — Gretchen Rubin’s 4 Tendencies Quiz — PWF Episode 149 Relationship Agreements 101 — PWF Episode 150 Asymmetric Agreements JOIN The Year of Opening community for a full year of learning & support. Registration is open now at ⁠⁠www.TheYearOfOpening.com⁠⁠ Learn the 5 secrets to open your relationship the smart way Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com Get the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! Sign up for an Ask Me Anything here Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions

Jealousy is often misunderstood as mere insecurity, but it's a complex emotion intertwined with attachment and personal experiences. This conversation unpacks jealousy’s multiple facets and challenges the belief that it's only a negative feeling. Learn strategies to manage jealousy effectively, including nervous system regulation techniques and communication strategies. Discover how self-compassion and patience can help you create a 'jealousy rescue plan' and improve your relationship dynamics.

Relationship agreements are awesome. They can take you from a place of ambiguity and assumptions to a place of clarity and transparency. But what happens when the hardest part of relationship agreements is… actually… fulfilling them?? It can leave you feeling defeated and sh*tty. If you relate to that feeling, this episode is for you. There might be some tender spots, shadowy patterns, or subconscious desires hiding beneath the surface, and we’re going to help you unearth them. We’re also going to walk you through some crucial steps in the process of accountability and repair with your partner(s). In this episode, we’re talking about: — Ken’s struggles with keeping relationship agreements around timing and logistics — The importance of accountability after agreements have been broken — Determining whether or not a relationship is safe and in alignment with your needs after agreements are broken — Making agreements based on your values, and the difference between aspirational values and lived values — The power of nervous system regulation during the agreement-making and repair processes — How shadow work connects to struggles with relationship agreements — Awareness vs acceptance of patterns — The subconscious narratives that can underlie weaponized incompetence — Why differentiation is vital to the agreement-making and -keeping processes — Why this predicament can be strong material for your individuation journey — The power of iterative agreements instead of fixed ones Resources mentioned in this episode: — PWF Episode 149 Relationship Agreements 101 JOIN The Year of Opening community for a full year of learning & support. Registration is open now at ⁠⁠www.TheYearOfOpening.com⁠⁠ Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com Get the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! Sign up for an Ask Me Anything here Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions

Eve and Andrea created a book that I wish I had 15 years ago when I was making the transition from monogamy to non-monogamy. And I don’t say that lightly (if you know me, you know I have a LOT of polyamory books on my bookshelves). The new edition of More Than Two is a testament to Eve and Andrea’s thoughtfulness and integrity as writers. They incorporated their evolving perspectives on ethics, relationships, and the world into their book, and the result is magical. They cover the stuff that many authors shy away from in the non-monogamy space. Power, abuse, ethics, responsibility—even though these subjects can be loaded, they deserve ample attention, and we’re covering it all in this PWF episode. In this episode, we’re breaking down: — Why they decided to create a new edition “More Than Two” — What’s covered in Andrea’s new book “Post Non-Monogamy and Beyond” — The concept of “post-non-monogamy” and the fluidity of relational experiences —Responsibility, ethics, and intersectionality in the non-monogamous community — The complexities of ethical frameworks in non-monogamous relationships — The challenges that come with negotiating attachment and boundaries — Eve and Andrea’s take on abuse in the conscious-relating sphere — The importance of self-awareness in maintaining ethical relationships — The broader societal and political context of the world and how it has influenced our approaches to non-monogamy — Thorn Apple Press, Eve’s publishing company, and its mission to elevate diverse voices in the non-monogamy community Resources mentioned in this episode: — More Than Two (second edition): Cultivating Nonmonogamous Relationships with Kindness and Integrity, by Eve Rickert with Andrea Zanin, out September 2024 — Post Non-Monogamy and Beyond by Andrea Zanin — Thorn Apple Press — Andrea Zanin's Twitter — Eve Rickert’s website and blog JOIN The Year of Opening community for a full year of learning & support. Registration is open now at ⁠⁠www.TheYearOfOpening.com⁠⁠ Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com Get the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! Sign up for an Ask Me Anything here Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions

Confession: We have not solved our mono-minds. The paradigm of monogamy runs deep in our society, so even though we’ve done decades of deep work to break out of those default frameworks and process our internalized polyphobia, we aren’t immune to the trappings of the mono-mind. Just like many of the other life-changing processes that come with opening up intentionally and successfully (think individuation and differentiation), there is no end point to unpacking your mono-mind. It’s a life-long process, and we love to talk about it! Our last episode on unf*cking your mono-mind is one of our top 10 most popular episodes, so we have a hunch that this may be coming up for you too… which is why we’re going even deeper in this part 2 episode. In this episode, we’re breaking down: — The concept of the mono-mind and how it influences our assumptions and perspectives on life and relationships — Internalized polyphobia and why the default beliefs of a monogamous society can run so deep in our psyches — How to recognize monogamous biases in our thoughts, language, and behaviors — The importance of questioning what defines romance and intimacy while unpacking your mono-mindset — Why looking at how you view friendships can be a powerful way to unpack your monogamous lenses — The slippery nature of monogamous norms — How the mono-mind can impact experiences of jealousy and boundaries in your relationships — Why the process of unf*cking your mono-mind never has a clear end point (and why that’s not a bad thing) — The value of community support and resources for unpacking monogamous conditioning — Practical steps you can take to increase your awareness of mono-centric assumptions and tendencies Resources mentioned in this episode: — The book Polywise by Jessica Fern and David Cooley — Playing With Fire Episode 94 Romantic Friendships: Subversive & Awesome JOIN The Year of Opening community for a full year of learning & support. Registration is open now at ⁠⁠www.TheYearOfOpening.com⁠⁠ Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com Get the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! Sign up for an Ask Me Anything here Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions

Feeling anxious while your partner is out on a date? You're not alone! Discover practical strategies to navigate those pesky feelings of jealousy and anxiety. Learn how to use pattern detection, emotional regulation, and resourcing while your partner enjoys their time. The hosts share their own experiences and effective do's and don’ts. Plus, explore the importance of reconnecting, how jealousy can turn into wisdom, and the need for structured communication to maintain intimacy. Transform your fears into deeper connections!

Laura Boyle, an author and coach specializing in polyamorous relationships, dives into the often overlooked practicalities of non-monogamous living. She shares insights from her book, revealing surprising common sizes of poly households and creative space management solutions. The conversation touches on the importance of open dialogue regarding finances, shared parenting, and introducing partners to children. Boyle explores the complexities of relationship dynamics and emphasizes that navigating these details can enhance connections and mitigate potential issues.

A lot of personal growth work is about recognizing and focusing on what we can change in our lives. Take responsibility and make the changes needed. But sometimes you’re stuck. Stuck and bewildered by how this shit keeps happening. There are those same old cyclical situations… a heated argument with a romantic partner, a recurring issue at work, a really challenging family dynamic… where we feel like we have no control. All those tools and practices go out the window and it feels like the situation is just happening at us. These challenges are the perfect place to start practicing shadow work—the process of becoming aware of what you’ve suppressed, hated, and denied about yourself. Sound a little scary? Don’t worry, shadow work does not mean embracing and enacting all the mean parts of yourself. In other words, doing this work doesn’t mean becoming an asshole. There are many ways to do shadow work, but today we’re focusing on a method created by Carolyn Lovewell called Existential Kink. Existential Kink involves loving, accepting, and owning the ‘guilty pleasure’ we get from the shadowy aspects of our subconscious, and we’re walking you through the whole process. In this episode, we’re breaking down: — What the shadow is — What it means to do shadow work — How Jungian and depth psychology define and approach the shadow — Examples of how and why people repress and deny aspects of themselves — Why unexamined shadow aspects of ourselves often lead to projections — How embracing and recollecting repressed aspects of ourselves can be powerfully transformative for your personal growth and relationships — Why shadow work does not mean embracing and enacting evil/mean aspects of ourselves (AKA becoming an asshole) — The theory behind and process of Existential Kink — The importance of community and support while doing depth psychological work Resources mentioned in this episode: — My Individuation Alchemy program — Carolyn Lovewell’s book, work, and programs — Lindsay Braman’s Emotion Sensation Feelings Wheel JOIN The Year of Opening community for a full year of learning & support. Registration is open now at ⁠⁠www.TheYearOfOpening.com⁠⁠ Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com Get the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! Sign up for an Ask Me Anything here Read the transcript of this episode here Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions

Abbey and Liam, advocates for conscious relationships, share their insights on non-monogamy and parenting. They discuss their unique journey of coming out to friends and family, emphasizing the importance of open dialogue. The couple balances non-monogamous practices with parenting, addressing age-appropriate conversations about relationships. They tackle jealousy through humor, revealing Liam's clever 'motorbike rule.' Highlighting the connection between non-monogamy and living fully, they stress the value of communication and emotional safety in nurturing relationships.