202 How do we maintain the relationship renaissance after opening up?

Many of us experience a relationship renaissance when we first open up. There's a delicious new energy, deeper conversations, rekindled passion, and a sense that we're seeing our partners (and ourselves) in entirely new dimensions. It feels amazing, and naturally, we want to hold onto that feeling forever!

But what are we supposed to do when that initial excitement starts to fade?

Maintaining this renaissance isn't about freezing that initial excitement in amber. It's about understanding what's really happening beneath the surface and learning how to nurture your relationships in new ways. In this episode, we’re gonna help you gain a deeper understanding of this process, and in turn, yourself and your partners.

We’re breaking down:

— The new non-monogamy energy phenomenon and why it creates such intense feelings of connection and discovery

— Why seeing your partner relate to others gives you access to dimensions of them you've never seen before

— How the shift from "exclusivity equals security" to building security through clarity and communication takes years of consistent effort

— The difference between trying to maintain the initial high versus investing in ongoing relationality

— Why some partners might try to use the renaissance as a reason to return to monogamy ("See? We fixed it!")

— How differentiation (recognizing "I am me and you are you") contributes strongly to maintaining intimacy

— Why the work of opening up is the relating – it's not just preparation for relating

— The importance of self-inquiry and noticing how you actually show up in relationships, not just how you think you show up

— Why maintaining unified pacing with your partner becomes impossible in non-monogamy (and why that's actually okay)

— How focusing on your own individuation process can help maintain deep connection without trying to recreate that initial high

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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions