The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno
Julie Menanno
Welcome to The Secure Love Podcast: Real-Time Couples Therapy with Julie Menanno.
Julie Menanno is a licensed therapist committed to helping couples build secure, lasting connections through Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). In each episode, she works with a real couple and just like many of us, they're navigating life's challenges, raising kids, managing careers, and strengthening their relationship.
Join us as we explore the power of attachment theory and its profound impact on how we connect with our partners. Together, we'll uncover negative communication cycles and learn how to replace them with positive, lasting change. By following each couple's journey, you'll gain relatable insights and practical steps to apply in your own life.
The Secure Love Podcast is your companion on the path to healthier, happier relationships. Your journey to a more secure love starts now.
Julie Menanno is a licensed therapist committed to helping couples build secure, lasting connections through Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). In each episode, she works with a real couple and just like many of us, they're navigating life's challenges, raising kids, managing careers, and strengthening their relationship.
Join us as we explore the power of attachment theory and its profound impact on how we connect with our partners. Together, we'll uncover negative communication cycles and learn how to replace them with positive, lasting change. By following each couple's journey, you'll gain relatable insights and practical steps to apply in your own life.
The Secure Love Podcast is your companion on the path to healthier, happier relationships. Your journey to a more secure love starts now.
Episodes
Mentioned books
Jan 20, 2026 • 1h 37min
Session 19: Unpacking Shame and The Reality of Healing (Season Finale)
In this season finale, the hosts tackle the roots of shame and the differences between shame and guilt. Brian reflects on how his exhausting ambition stems from a fear of feeling 'less than.' The discussion reveals the cycle of fear and disconnection within their relationship, spurred by past experiences and family influences. A poignant moment occurs when Brian learns to ask for support, challenging old patterns. As they acknowledge setbacks, it's clear that healing requires ongoing effort and connection amidst regression.
Jan 13, 2026 • 59min
Session 18: Understanding the Anxious Partner - The Path to Accountability (Pt. 2)
Tension rises as Brian grapples with feeling targeted and defensive, reluctant to acknowledge his role in their struggles. A breakthrough occurs during a heartfelt apology about his lack of support during critical moments in their lives. Julie skillfully connects Brian's overworking and perfectionism to deeper issues of shame and a desperate need to prove himself. Listeners are prompted to examine their own patterns of over-functioning and the emotional costs of avoiding vulnerability. A poignant exploration of accountability unfolds.
Jan 6, 2026 • 1h 22min
Session 17: Understanding the Anxious Partner - The Path to Accountability (Pt. 1)
In this insightful session, Brian, a father navigating relationship challenges, shares his journey of breaking generational cycles, particularly how he supported his daughter through bullying. He reveals his struggles with perfectionism like roots in childhood traumas and the impact of a cruel teacher. Brian uncovers how his tendency to overfunction has strained his marriage, acknowledging his role in a negative cycle. The conversation explores the cost of chronic stress on relationships, prompting listeners to reflect on their own 'bad behavior' in relationships.
Dec 23, 2025 • 1h 9min
Session 16: "Full Breathable Lungs": The Power of Vulnerability
This session dives into the power of vulnerability as Brian confronts his perfectionism and childhood wounds. A seemingly trivial argument about mulch uncovers deep-seated feelings of inadequacy. Bethany offers unexpected support during a family crisis, highlighting empathy in relationships. Together, they challenge the belief that vulnerability is a weakness, leading Brian to a liberating realization. The episode invites listeners to reflect on their own hidden weaknesses and share them with their partners for connection.
Dec 16, 2025 • 1h 9min
Session 15: Healing the Wound of "Not Mattering"
Bethany and Brian tackle the complex dynamics of their relationship, revealing deep-seated childhood wounds. Brian shares his fears of feeling replaceable, stemming from painful memories of his upbringing. Both partners grapple with the feeling of not mattering, which fuels their conflicts. As they navigate these emotions, they uncover the significance of acknowledging each other's vulnerabilities. This candid exploration highlights how shared fears can hinder connection, offering a poignant lesson in love and understanding.
Dec 9, 2025 • 1h 4min
Session 14: Moving Towards a Positive Cycle
Bethany and Brian celebrate their progress as they navigate conflict without descending into negativity. A pivotal moment occurs when Bethany articulates her feelings and receives validation instead of anger. The session dives into somatic practices to anchor feelings of safety and peace in their relationship. Bethany confronts deep-seated shame about her past financial dishonesty, and vulnerability leads to emotional closeness. They explore how past fears and power dynamics shaped their interactions, paving the way for a healthier cycle.
Dec 2, 2025 • 1h 10min
Session 13: From Bad Guy to Bad A**: The Avoidant Partner Reclaims Her Voice
Bethany confronts her history of minimizing her own pain to maintain peace, revealing her journey back to assertiveness. A pivotal moment emerges as she reconnects with her inner strength, learning that self-advocacy is vital for her relationship. The discussion also uncovers Brian's frustrations, depicting his anger as a cry for connection. Together, they navigate their mutual struggles, exploring the importance of protecting each other's needs. The episode underscores the transformative power of reclaiming one's voice in love.
Nov 25, 2025 • 1h 31min
Session 12: The Very Good Reasons Why The Avoidant Partner Avoids
This session dives into the struggles of an avoidant partner, focusing on Bethany's misread attempts to help her sick daughter. She reveals her 'stone face' is not indifference but a defense against feeling like a failure. A breakthrough occurs when she admits her numbness stems from avoiding overwhelming pain. As vulnerability increases, Brian begins to soften, fostering hope for their relationship. Listeners are prompted to reflect on their own defenses and what feelings they might be shutting out.
Nov 18, 2025 • 1h 45min
Session 11: I Just Don't Think She Really Cares About Me
Brian, a partner in a complicated therapy session, shares his struggles with trust and feelings of being attacked by his partner, Bethany. He questions his sanity as they confront a cycle of negativity fueled by past traumas. The crucial insight emerges when they reframe Brian's narrative from viewing Bethany as malicious to seeing her as hurt and protective. This shift opens a path to vulnerability, encouraging both to explore their painful histories and the narratives that keep them stuck. Julie challenges listeners to rethink their own assumptions in relationships.
Nov 11, 2025 • 1h 35min
Session 10: Does it Get Worse Before It Gets Better?
Old wounds can linger longer than we'd like. Brian grapples with new empathy directed at Bethany, which resurfaces his own past trauma. This raw discussion highlights the importance of voicing vulnerabilities instead of competing over pain. The episode dives into how emotional support can transform relationships through co-regulation. Brian’s breakthrough moment turns despair into connection, reminding us that healing often requires simply being seen and understood by our partners. Reflecting on our own triggers can lead to powerful insights.
