The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno Session 5: I Didn't Get Married to Throw it All Away
Sep 30, 2025
Brian, a participant in a therapeutic session, dives deep into the emotional turmoil of his partnership with Bethany. They explore the painful silence that arises when he withdraws, leaving her feeling abandoned and confused. The discussion highlights how vulnerability can break down defensive walls, allowing Brian to recognize his empathy for Bethany's pain. By addressing their fears and learning to communicate openly, they begin to shift their dynamic from one of gridlock to understanding. This insightful exchange reveals how shared vulnerability can rebuild connections and foster healing.
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Fear Underlies Triggers
- Julie frames triggers as rooted in fear and uses attachment language to reframe behaviors rather than label them.
- She emphasizes vulnerability, not blame, as the pathway to changing entrenched cycles.
A Cold Weekend That Revealed Distance
- Bethany and Brian spent little time together over a cold weekend with parenting logistics complicating contact.
- Their daughter’s recovery and custody schedule increased distance and limited opportunities to connect.
Respond With Vulnerability Or Structured Care
- Use three response options: react, shut down, or use healthy assertion/vulnerability to request change.
- Practice role clarity: one partner caretakes while the other receives to avoid escalation and misunderstandings.
