The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno Session 11: I Just Don't Think She Really Cares About Me
Nov 18, 2025
Brian, a partner in a complicated therapy session, shares his struggles with trust and feelings of being attacked by his partner, Bethany. He questions his sanity as they confront a cycle of negativity fueled by past traumas. The crucial insight emerges when they reframe Brian's narrative from viewing Bethany as malicious to seeing her as hurt and protective. This shift opens a path to vulnerability, encouraging both to explore their painful histories and the narratives that keep them stuck. Julie challenges listeners to rethink their own assumptions in relationships.
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Malicious Narrative Blocks Vulnerability
- Believing a partner is malicious makes vulnerability impossible and stalls progress.
- Therapists must reframe unworkable narratives to restore safety before deep healing.
Date Night Misunderstanding Escalates
- Tiffany described a date-night slip where a partner said, 'I can't say anything to you,' leaving her invalidated.
- Attempts to catch the negative cycle early still failed because he shut down and couldn't explain his feelings.
Lean In When Someone Says 'I Can't Say Anything'
- When a partner says 'I can't say anything to you,' lean in with curiosity and validate their fear before explaining.
- Ask later to revisit the moment so both partners can repair with clarity.
