
The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno
Welcome to The Secure Love Podcast: Real Time Couples Therapy with Julie Menanno. Julie Menanno is a licensed therapist dedicated to helping couples build secure, lasting connections using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). In each episode, Julie works with a real couple in their 30s, Melissa and Drew, and just like many of us, they are navigating life's challenges, raising kids, managing busy careers, and working on their relationship.
Join us to explore the depths of attachment theory and its profound impact on our relationships. We'll identify negative communication cycles and learn how to create positive, lasting changes. By sharing Melissa and Drew's journey, you'll gain relatable insights and actionable steps to apply in your own life. Each episode offers practical skills and homework assignments to help you foster a more secure and fulfilling connection with your partner.
The Secure Love Podcast is your companion for building healthier, happier relationships. Your journey to a more secure love begins now.
Latest episodes

Sep 24, 2024 • 1h 33min
The Shame That Blocks Connection
Drew, who bravely confronts childhood shame linked to a painful baseball game memory, shares his anxiety about work and relationships. With guidance from Julie, he learns the power of vulnerability in fostering connection. They explore emotional burdens, the intricacies of avoidance in relationships, and the journey toward self-acceptance. As Drew articulates his feelings, the couple makes progress from isolation to a deeper connection, highlighting the importance of emotional safety and open communication.

4 snips
Sep 12, 2024 • 1h 41min
Understanding the Anxious Partner
Melissa, an anxious partner, shares her journey of navigating deep emotions with Drew, her supportive partner. Their conversation unpacks the challenge of feeling like they’re 'getting it wrong' in their interactions. A therapist guides them through understanding how Melissa's tendency to intellectualize her feelings stems from a fear of rejection. They explore the importance of emotional validation and how Drew can better support Melissa's emotional needs. The discussion emphasizes building secure attachments by making space for each other's feelings in relationships.

10 snips
Sep 4, 2024 • 1h 25min
Choosing Each Other: Finding Connection Amidst Family Pressure
Drew, one of the hosts, recounts the chaotic challenges of a family beach vacation, where external scrutiny made parenting feel even more daunting. His co-host Melissa shares her feelings of isolation when Drew sought refuge with easier family members. Together, they dissect their emotional responses to family judgments and the necessity of mutual support. Insights from Julie underline the importance of teamwork in navigating stress and choosing connection over avoidance. This resonant conversation highlights how to foster strong relationships under external pressures.

6 snips
Aug 21, 2024 • 1h 11min
Facing the Inner Critic: Moving from Shame to Vulnerability
In this engaging discussion, Drew, an avoidant partner wrestling with feelings of inadequacy, opens up about his struggles with shame in his relationship with Melissa. Guided by Julie, he learns to navigate his inner critic and embrace vulnerability, signaling a significant shift in his emotional journey. They delve into the impact of childhood experiences on shame, the importance of mutual support in healing, and how confronting insecurities can transform relationships. Their insights on fostering authentic connections offer practical wisdom for anyone seeking deeper emotional engagement.

20 snips
Aug 13, 2024 • 1h 9min
What Happens When Shared Fears Aren’t Communicated?
Join a couple as they explore the intricate dance of emotional communication. They confront their fears of disconnect while navigating Drew's hidden frustrations and Melissa's anxieties. Despite assurances of happiness, body language tells a different story. The struggle for emotional validation and the hesitance to express needs becomes a focal point. Discover how they work through misunderstandings and strive for deeper connection, highlighting the importance of vulnerability and open dialogue in relationships.

40 snips
Aug 6, 2024 • 56min
Moving Towards a Positive Cycle & Understanding the Avoidant Partner
A couple shares a pivotal moment during a family gathering where they decide to reset their conflict. They delve into the complexities of avoidant attachment styles. Drew reflects on his childhood struggles with emotional regulation, leading to a newfound self-awareness. This discussion highlights the challenges of communication in parenting and the importance of vulnerability. By acknowledging their emotions, they pave the way for healthier interactions and deeper emotional connections.

23 snips
Jul 30, 2024 • 1h 7min
Unraveling the Roots of the Negative Cycle Pt. 2
Drew, reflecting on his early marriage years, delivers a heartfelt apology to Melissa, resulting in an emotional release for her. Julie highlights how their relationship is still caught in a negative cycle. She helps them uncover Drew's unprocessed grief and struggles with vulnerability. Insights from therapist George Faller emphasize Drew's lack of experience in sharing emotions. The conversation dives deep into the need for clearer communication and emotional support in relationships, challenging Drew to confront his fears and embrace vulnerability.

15 snips
Jul 24, 2024 • 48min
Unraveling the Roots of the Negative Cycle Pt. 1
A couple reflects on past traumas affecting their relationship, leading to cycles of disconnect and triggers. They explore unmet attachment needs, emotional communication challenges, and rewriting their narrative for healing and growth. Guest therapist to provide further analysis in the next part.

31 snips
Jul 16, 2024 • 1h 12min
Finding Balance in Chaos: Who Gets to Hurt Worse?
A couple navigates chaos and emotional triggers, learning to support each other in tough moments. They discuss the importance of communication, understanding, and finding balance in their relationship. Julie Manano provides guidance on emotional regulation and navigating parenting challenges.

37 snips
Jul 9, 2024 • 1h 22min
Handling Crisis: The Anxious-Avoidant Clash
Therapist Julie Menanno helps Melissa and Drew navigate their anxious-avoidant clash during a crisis. They struggle with communication styles, emotional validation, and dark thoughts. The podcast explores their journey to connection and tools learned in therapy for improving relationships.