The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno Session 2: “Second-Class Citizen” – Understanding What Lies Behind the Anger
Sep 9, 2025
Brian, a partner in couples therapy, opens up about feeling like a 'second-class citizen' in his relationship with Bethany. He discusses how this feeling contributes to his anger, revealing that it stems from a deep longing for connection. The duo wrestles with unspoken sadness and twisted communication patterns, where Brian's emotional struggles turn into name-calling. Meanwhile, Bethany's coping mechanisms only enhance their disconnection. The conversation emphasizes awareness of emotions and questions how neglect affects their bond.
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Second-Class Citizen Is A Body Feeling
- Feeling like a 'second-class citizen' names a deep ache of insignificance, not just a complaint.
- Julie shows that accessing the bodily feeling is the first step toward healing that sadness before it becomes anger.
Check The Body Before You Fix
- Notice where the pain of being unimportant sits in your body and name the sensation.
- Sit with that somatic signal before jumping to problem-solving or distraction.
Anger Often Hides Hope
- Anger often contains hope: it's a protest aimed at reestablishing connection.
- Julie reframes anger as a motivating signal that something needs to change to restore safety.
