Being single has never been more common, with more people being single than ever before in history. And yet, we still experience a great degree of social and internal stigma, and even shame, around our relationship status. From the comments of family or friends saying that "you'll find someone soon", to the movies where marriage and partnership is the happy ending, sometimes we feel the need to settle in order to be happy or live up to societies expectations. In today's episode we explore the psychology behind this - from gender schema theory, to the scarcity effect, media psychology, identity fusion, and the hidden benefits of our single years. We also discuss whether it's wrong to want a relationship and whether we need to be fully healed before dating again? The answer is, it's complicated. Listen now!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Overthinking can sometimes feel like an endless mental maze that we're trapped in. This tendency to overthink can also lead to chronic indecisiveness and obsessive acknowledgement of the opinions of others. But overthinking is much more common that when we think, and may actually indicate a greater sense of self awareness and emotional intelligence. In this episode we explore why we have a tendency to overthink, from the illusion of control, to perfectionism, childhood learning and the link to ADHD and depressive rumination. We'll also dive into the strategies and ways we can control our overthinking and become better decision makers without needing to consider every outcome or ruminate for days. This episode is for all my fellow chronic overthinkers, listen now! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The desire to be unique and individual is one that we all feel, especially in our 20s as we begin to establish our 'adult' identity and make efforts to distinguish ourselves. In this weeks episode we discuss seven major tips and strategies for being the most interesting and unique person in any room - from embracing unconventional thinking, rejecting the herd mentality of trends and the desire to be the "it" girl, spending time in nature, and challenging yourself creatively, being different is no longer and bad thing. Listen now to learn the psychology behind how we can be completely unique. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week we sit down for an intimate conversation with the incredible Claud Bailey, a queer film director and queer youth advocate based in Sydney, Australia to discuss what our gender and sexuality means for our 20s. We dive into the meaning of community, gender expression, the beauty of queerness and how to navigate coming of age as a queer person in the 21st century, along with the role of being a responsible and compassionate ally. Alongside this we also explore the power of rituals, the relationship between pleasure and pain and the role of beauty in enjoying our lives to the fullest. Listen now to hear more from our wonderful guest!  Follow Claud: https://www.instagram.com/ /?hl=en Wear It Purple: https://www.wearitpurple.org/  The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we're discussing the increasing prevalence of ghosting in modern dating. The use of dating apps has created a sense of choice overload, whilst social media has simultaneously allowed us a sense of online anonymity and diminished our ability to communicate, resulting in a rise in ghosting. Being ghosted can leave us craving emotional closure and feeling a sense of rejection. However, there are a number of psychological motivations behind why people ghost us, including emotional unavailability, emotional intelligence, the Dark Triad of narcissism, psychopathy and machiavellianism, but also people pleasing tendencies and convenience. We explore all of these reasons and more, as well as the best response to being ghosted and how we can provide ourselves with the psychological closure and answers we need. Listen now.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

HAPPY 100th EPISODE! In this week's episode, we are celebrating two very special milestones - 100 episodes of The Psychology of your 20s and the 2 year anniversary of the show. I decided to sit down and answer some of your questions around what I've learned from this experience, what advice I would give, how I'm going, my future plans, why heartbreak gave me the best gift I could have asked for and give some lighting round advice to my most asked questions.  I want to say a huge thank you for all the support and love this show has received. It had such humble beginnings. I started it as an audio journal to just talk about my 20s and now its my full time job and my greatest passion. Your support means the world, thank you to all my listeners, new and old for the way you changed my life! Listen now for more sappy reflections. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In our 20s we can often feel like we have to have a plan for our lives or a 5 year vision for where we want to be. This can cause us to be boxed in and blind to the surprises opportunities that life throws our way. The idea of a 5 year plan is a myth and in today's episode, we are going to break down why. From societal conventions of a 'good' life, the butterfly effect, the psychology behind impulsive decisions and goal setting and the need for a sense of control over the chaos of our 20s, we explore all that and more to uncover why your school counsellor was wrong and you DON'T need a five year plan for your life. Listen now. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sometimes our biggest enemy isn't others, it's ourselves. Self sabotage is a complicated psychological experience whereby we unconsciously undermine our own goals and wellbeing because of an implicit belief that we don't deserve our success, are afraid of failure, or cannot allow ourselves to be happy. From dating people we shouldn't, to procrastination, indecision, doom scrolling and self destructive behaviours, it all comes down to our unconscious beliefs about our self worth. Today we explore the origins and causes of self sabotage, from Freud's ideas of the 'death drive' and 'anti-self', coping mechanisms, to the impact of unresolved emotional trauma and self punishment to understand why it is we self sabotage, and how we can get out of our own way. Listen now. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Long distance in any relationship can be hard, so why do we choose to do it? In our 20s our relationships take on an increased level of seriousness, but at the same time we are also presented with so many wonderful decisions to travel, move new places, try new positions and jobs and figure out what we want from our lives. However, our partners don't always make the same decision. In this episode, we discuss the long distance dilemma - why distance can cause so much friction and conflict, the crucial considerations and signs that your long distance relationship will last, and how to know when its time to call it quits and walk away. We reveal all the psychology behind why long distance relationships work, and why they don't. Listen now. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Recently I've been feeling, as the episode title says, ugly. My relationship with my body and sense of 'attractiveness' has always been complicated and in the past few months, certain events and experiences have only exacerbated a lot of the insecurities I've had since childhood. So I wanted to talk about it, because I know I'm not the only one. Our 20s involve a lot of self growth, coming into our own identity and reframing our mindset on appearance and our relationships with our bodies. So what are some of the reasons why we feel 'ugly', how does that experience impact our emotional and mental wellbeing, what is the influence of societally held beauty standards and how we can escape this narrative that our looks are the extend of our worth to society. We talk about all of that and more in today's episode. Listen now.  If you need further information, resources or assistance please refer to the following services:  Australia - The Butterfly Foundation https://butterfly.org.au/get-support/helpline/USA - National Eating Disorders Association https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.orgUK - Beat Eating Disorders https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.ukCanada - National Eating Disorder Information Centre https://nedic.caWorldwide - https://www.verywellmind.com/leading-eating-disorder-charities-and-organizations-4145389See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.