Becoming indestructible involves mastering internal and external triggers, preventing distraction with packs, and making time for traction.
Discipline is influenced by perceived effort and enjoyment, so align tasks with personal values and use pre-commitment devices to maintain discipline.
Time boxing and value-based scheduling help allocate time effectively and prioritize tasks based on personal values.
Scheduling quality time in relationships is essential to prevent the negative impact of a busy lifestyle and nurture connection.
Deep dives
The importance of avoiding distraction and the concept of becoming indestractable
Avoiding distraction is the key to not living with regret. Becoming indestractable is the skill of controlling your attention, which is vital for success in all areas of life. It involves understanding internal triggers and learning to master them. By identifying and reframing uncomfortable sensations, one can regain control over their actions and make intentional choices.
The four steps to becoming indestractable
The four steps are: mastering internal triggers, making time for traction, hacking back external triggers, and preventing distraction with packs. Internal triggers are the uncomfortable emotional states that lead to distraction, while external triggers are the distractions in our environment. By setting specific time for focused work, managing external triggers, and implementing pre-commitment techniques, one can prevent distractions and maintain better control over their time and attention.
Overcoming challenges and maintaining discipline
Discipline is not limited by willpower, but rather by the perceived effort and enjoyment associated with a task. When a task becomes difficult or loses its enjoyment, discipline wanes. To maintain discipline, it is important to align tasks with personal values, schedule time for reflection and relationships, and be intentional about using pre-commitment devices, such as effort packs, price packs, and identity packs, to prevent distractions and stay on track.
The power of time boxing and value-based scheduling
Time boxing and value-based scheduling are effective strategies to manage one's time and maintain focus. By setting specific blocks of time for different activities based on personal values and priorities, individuals can ensure that they allocate their time appropriately and make progress towards their goals. This approach emphasizes the importance of inputs, such as time and attention, rather than solely focusing on desired outcomes.
Scheduling quality time in relationships
The speaker proposes the idea of scheduling quality time in relationships, such as date nights, to combat the negative impact of a busy lifestyle. This suggestion came about after realizing the importance of prioritizing important activities and realizing that not scheduling time can be detrimental to a relationship. Despite initial resistance, the speaker emphasizes the significance of scheduling time for each other and highlights the concept of being a residual beneficiary in a relationship, where the time left over is devoted to the partner.
The distinction between distractable and indestructible people
The speaker differentiates between distractable and indestructible people, noting that the difference lies in their response to distractions. Distractable individuals repeatedly get distracted by the same things, while indestructible individuals take steps today to prevent distractions tomorrow. The speaker points out how this distinction applies to personal and professional contexts and highlights the importance of overcoming distractions and prioritizing effectively to avoid falling into the trap of distractions repeatedly.
The misconception about spontaneity and love
The podcast explores the common misconception that not being spontaneous in a relationship equates to a lack of love. The speaker shares a personal story of scheduling date nights with their partner, despite initial resistance. They explain that not making time spontaneously is not an indication of decreased love, but rather a failure in prioritization. By consciously allocating time for spending with loved ones, couples can build stronger relationships and nurture their connection.
Perception of control and the impact on well-being
The podcast delves into the concept of control and its profound impact on well-being. Research shows that having an internal locus of control, the belief that one can influence outcomes, leads to numerous positive outcomes, including better relationships, increased wealth, and improved overall well-being. Additionally, the discussion touches upon the negative effects of high expectations coupled with low control, which can result in burnout. Emphasizing the importance of agency, the speaker highlights the benefits of taking personal responsibility and fostering an internal locus of control.
In this new episode Steven sits down with the American behavioural design expert, Nir Eyal.
Nir’s career has focused on behavioural engineering and helping businesses to develop habit-forming products. His work explores the intersection of psychology, technology, and business, and has earned him the label of “The Prophet of Habit-Forming Technology”. Since 2003, he has co-founded two technology companies, worked as a consultant in product design and taught as a lecturer in Marketing at the Stanford Graduate School of Business and the Hasso Plattner Institute of Design. Nir is the author of 2 bestselling books, ‘Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products’ and ’Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life.’
In this conversation Nir and Steven discuss topics, such as:
How to reclaim your time and attention.
The importance of ‘time-boxing’.
The real reasons that people become distracted.
How our thinking about having finite willpower is wrong.
Why our thinking about ADHD is wrong and needs to be fixed.
You can purchase ‘Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life’, here: https://bit.ly/3ooKYcw
