The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish #57 Sheila Heen: Decoding Difficult Conversations
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May 15, 2019 
Sheila Heen, a two-time New York Times bestselling author and Harvard Law School lecturer, dives into the art of handling tough discussions. She breaks down the layers of difficult conversations, emphasizing the importance of curiosity over blame. Heen explains how negotiation skills can be nurtured in children, enhancing family dynamics. Active listening and emotional intelligence are highlighted as key components for navigating complex dialogues, especially in parenting and relationships. She offers insights that transform friction into constructive communication.
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Smitten with Negotiation
- Sheila Heen's interest in negotiation sparked during her first year of law school.
- She was inspired by Roger Fisher, who taught negotiation and emphasized "walking the talk."
Kids as Negotiators
- Kids are intuitive negotiators, constantly testing boundaries and adapting their strategies.
- They learn what works by observing adults' reactions, often exploiting unintentional rewards.
Parenting and Negotiation
- Teach kids to consider your interests and perspective when making requests.
- Help them understand the reasoning behind parental decisions, not just the rules themselves.
