The Kink Consultant

One thing about kinky dating: it should not be this hard to find your people. Thankfully, BeeDee App exists and yes, I brought Pieter back on the podcast because a lot has happened since the first time he was here.In this episode, Pieter and I get into compatibility percentages, brat detection failures, monogamy filters, and why BeeDee is miles better than scrolling through FetLife hoping someone in your city is actually compatible. We also talk about BeeDee’s new features like incognito mode and travel mode, and the wild stats behind how many messages, matches, and relationships are happening because of this app. If you’ve ever wished kinky dating felt easier, more intentional, and way less chaotic, this episode is your permission slip to finally download the app, take the test, and meet people who actually match you inside and outside the bedroom.Episode Highlights: 00:00 Personal Experiences with BeeDee App13:24 The Origin Story of BeeDee App20:29 New Features and Updates on BeeDee App29:47 Upcoming Features on BeeDee AppDownload the BeeDee App https://web.beedee.app/Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/Sign-Up For the TCK Couples Retreat: https://www.amandadames.com/BetaWaitlistConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

"The number one thing about being a Dom is you need to have the best interest of the other person in mind.You cannot take advantage of the other person because of their submissive role."In this episode, we're continuing the conversation about finding Doms, and what actually makes a good one. Spoiler: it's not about being the strictest or the loudest, it's about showing up consistently, knowing when to admit you're wrong, and understanding that feelings can (and will) change how you play. We dive into what he's actually looking for in a submissive, how he deals with performance anxiety without spiraling, and why sometimes the best thing a Dom can do is pause the whole D/s dynamic.If you've been wondering what separates a good Dom from someone who just talks a big game, or you're trying to level up your own leadership without losing your mind, you'll definitely enjoy this episode.Episode Highlights: 00:00 Understanding the Dom-Sub Dynamic06:28 Educating Your Dom11:09 Consistency in Dom-Sub Relationships20:59 Support and Consistency in D/s Dynamics27:29 Spotting Submissive Tendencies38:42 Exploring New Dynamics TogetherSign-up for the Couples Retreat! For couples and curious duos ready to explore kink, deepen trust, and turn communication into connection. ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/BetaWaitlist⁠Let’s take kink to the high seas! Join me at the Kinky Cruise at ⁠https://www.kinkycruise.com⁠ and use code TKC50 FOR $50 off per person.Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: ⁠https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/⁠Connect with Me: ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠⁠

One of the questions I get constantly is, “Where can I find a Dom?”So in this episode, I sit down with my Dom to talk honestly about where real Doms come from, how he found the kink community, and what he actually looks for when choosing a submissive.In this episode, he shares how he found the kink community, what shaped the way he leads, and how our dynamic started long before either of us named it. We talk about emotional steadiness, consistency, red flags, green flags, and the difference between a man performing dominance and someone who can genuinely hold you. If you’ve ever wondered where to meet a Dom, how to choose one, or what a grounded power exchange feels like from the inside, this conversation gives you a clear, real-world look behind the scenes.Episode Highlights: 00:00 Discovering FetLife and Online Communities05:33 Learning and Growing as a Dom24:11 How We Actualy Me25:48 Advice for Subs and Doms in the Dating World33:59 The Importance of Communication and Flexibility36:16 Handling Emotional Regulation and Vulnerability40:06 Respecting Boundaries and InsecuritiesHow to Tell Your Partner Your Kink Join this 1-hr workshop and learn how to talk to your partner about your kink without shame, panic, or awkward silence https://www.amandadames.com/offers/GvipoKWe/checkoutLet’s take kink to the high seas! Join me at the Kinky Cruise at https://www.kinkycruise.com and use code TKC50 FOR $50 off per person.Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers with Kathy Kay In this episode, I talk with Kathy Kay, host of the Strictly Anonymous podcast and author of Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. We get into how her hit podcast began with Craigslist ads, how she’s collected over 1,200 real-life sex stories, and what she’s learned about desire, shame, and human nature along the way.Kathy Kay and I dive into the wildest stories from her new book; from 50 gangbangs to secret throuples, and women discovering their sexuality later in life. We talk about how these confessions reveal the truth about what people really want, how she keeps it all anonymous, and why storytelling is the key to normalizing desire without shame.If you’ve ever been curious about the fantasies people keep hidden or just love hearing real stories that prove no one is as “normal” as they seem, this episode is going to be your new guilty pleasure.Pre-order The Book: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCdEpisode Highlights: (00:00) How Strictly Anonymous Confessions Was Born(09:00) The Stories Behind the Book(18:00) Shame, Desire, and Owning Your Pleasure(23:00) Normalizing Nontraditional Relationships(35:00) Why People Crave Anonymity and ConfessionPre-order The Book: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠Listen to the Podcast: https://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Cate Osborne, known as Catieosaurus, is a sex educator and author who explores the intersection of ADHD and kink. In this conversation, she shares her journey of being diagnosed at 30, revealing how it transformed her understanding of intimacy. Cate delves into rejection sensitivity and its impact on consent, advocating for self-compassion and effective communication. She highlights how kink provides structure and tools that can empower neurodivergent individuals to express their needs and desires, making listeners feel more understood.

What really happens after betrayal, and how do you start to heal when trust has been broken?In this episode, I sit down with Lauren LaRusso, therapist and infidelity specialist, to talk about the messy, painful, and deeply human side of cheating. We explore why infidelity happens, the emotional chaos it brings, and how both partners, the betrayed and the betrayer, can find their way back to honesty and self-understanding.Lauren and I also unpack the connection between kink and infidelity, how fear of rejection, shame, or unmet desires can lead someone to explore outside their relationship. We talk about the importance of vulnerability, honest communication, and the courage it takes to express who you really are before crisis hits.If you’ve ever been cheated on, cheated yourself, or just want to understand what drives betrayal, this episode is a raw, compassionate, deep dive into the psychology of desire, avoidance, and emotional repair.Episode Highlights: 00:00 Defining Cheating and Its Complexities07:28 The Role of Kink in Infidelity19:32 Living Authentically in Relationships22:13 Practicing Honesty in Relationships24:28 Facing the Fear of Abandonment32:11 Resources for Healing and SupportConnect with Lauren: https://www.laurenlarusso.com/contacthttps://www.instagram.com/laurenlarussoConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Join Beau Delacroix, a content creator and artist known for his erotic storytelling and handmade kink implements, as he dives deep into the art of kink. He discusses how creativity enhances control, sharing personal tales of navigating dominance with empathy. Beau also opens up about crafting unique kink toys, the importance of emotional intelligence in relationships, and how his unconventional upbringing shaped his artistic expression. Curious about finding compatible partners in the kink community? Beau offers valuable tips too!

In this insightful conversation, Aubrey Aust, a graduate student at NYU and researcher in relational psychology, explores the fascinating intersection of BDSM, desire, and self-discovery. They discuss how kink functions as a 'relational laboratory' to build trust and safety. Aubrey dives into Freud's theories on fantasy and how childhood dynamics with parents influence adult desires. They also examine honesty’s role in intimacy, the therapeutic potential of kink, and the importance of somatic awareness in understanding consent.

Join Annette Benedetti, a certified sex and intimacy coach and host of Talk Sex with Annette, as she dives deep into the pleasures of anal play. Annette shares practical tips for preparation and cleanliness, discusses essential toys, and emphasizes the power of communication and consent. She breaks down the myths surrounding virginity and highlights the importance of curiosity over shame. With laughter and real-life advice, listeners will gain confidence to explore this intimate adventure safely and joyfully.

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.Episode 54 - In this episode, I sit down with Lee, founder of ConCations, the company behind Kinky Cruise and Kinky Caribbean, to talk about what really happens when the kink world hits the high seas. We get into how these cruises came to life, what makes them so different from your typical hotel takeovers, and why so many people leave feeling more connected than ever to themselves, their partners, and the community.Lee also opens up about his own 24/7 power exchange dynamic, what it’s like juggling kink, family, and polyamory, and why these events are about so much more than sex. They’re about finding your people, building real intimacy, and creating spaces where everyone belongs.If you’ve ever wanted to explore lifestyle travel or just love the idea of a vacation where consent, connection, and play come first, this episode will have you ready to pack your cuffs (and maybe your sunscreen).Episode Highlights(00:00) From Weekend Cons to Weeklong Connections(10:00) Bridging Swingers and Kinksters with Swinkation(20:00) High Protocol vs. Everyday Power Exchange(33:00) Beach Parties, Dungeons, and Sex-Positive Play(39:00) Connecting Before the Cruise Starts(41:00) Why This Is Perfect for BeginnersJoin the next Kinky Cruise! Head to https://www.ConCations.com and use the code TKC50 for fifty dollars off your booking!Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1