The Kink Consultant

Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers with Kathy Kay In this episode, I talk with Kathy Kay, host of the Strictly Anonymous podcast and author of Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. We get into how her hit podcast began with Craigslist ads, how she’s collected over 1,200 real-life sex stories, and what she’s learned about desire, shame, and human nature along the way.Kathy Kay and I dive into the wildest stories from her new book; from 50 gangbangs to secret throuples, and women discovering their sexuality later in life. We talk about how these confessions reveal the truth about what people really want, how she keeps it all anonymous, and why storytelling is the key to normalizing desire without shame.If you’ve ever been curious about the fantasies people keep hidden or just love hearing real stories that prove no one is as “normal” as they seem, this episode is going to be your new guilty pleasure.Pre-order The Book: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCdEpisode Highlights: (00:00) How Strictly Anonymous Confessions Was Born(09:00) The Stories Behind the Book(18:00) Shame, Desire, and Owning Your Pleasure(23:00) Normalizing Nontraditional Relationships(35:00) Why People Crave Anonymity and ConfessionPre-order The Book: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠Listen to the Podcast: https://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

What happens when your ADHD brain meets your kink identity? Turns out, they have a lot more in common than you might think.In this episode, I sit down with Cate Osborne, also known as Catieosaurus, sex educator, content creator, and author of The ADHD Field Guide for Adults, to talk about how neurodivergence shapes intimacy, communication, and play. Cate shares her story of being diagnosed with ADHD at 30 and how that discovery changed everything: from her relationships to her career to the way she experiences pleasure.We dive into rejection sensitivity, safe words, aftercare, and why kink can be such a powerful framework for neurodivergent people to feel seen, understood, and safe. Cate also shares insights from her new book, a practical (and very funny) guide to adulting with ADHD, and why she believes self-compassion is one of the most underrated forms of aftercare.If you’ve ever felt “too much,” struggled to ask for what you need, or wanted to understand how kink and neurodivergence overlap, this episode will make you feel a little less alone and a lot more understood.Episode Highlights: 00:00 ADHD and Kink: The Overlap12:21 Rejection Sensitivity and Kink19:23 The Power of Self-Advocacy21:03 Kink and Neurodivergence24:41 Personal Kink Journeys28:54 Normalizing Kink and CommunicationPre-Order her book here: ​​https://catieosaurus.com/the-adhd-field-guideConnect with Cate: https://www.instagram.com/catieosaurus/https://catieosaurus.comConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Let’s take kink to the high seas! Join me at the Kinky Cruise at https://www.kinkycruise.com and use code TKC50 FOR $50 off per person.Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

What really happens after betrayal, and how do you start to heal when trust has been broken?In this episode, I sit down with Lauren LaRusso, therapist and infidelity specialist, to talk about the messy, painful, and deeply human side of cheating. We explore why infidelity happens, the emotional chaos it brings, and how both partners, the betrayed and the betrayer, can find their way back to honesty and self-understanding.Lauren and I also unpack the connection between kink and infidelity, how fear of rejection, shame, or unmet desires can lead someone to explore outside their relationship. We talk about the importance of vulnerability, honest communication, and the courage it takes to express who you really are before crisis hits.If you’ve ever been cheated on, cheated yourself, or just want to understand what drives betrayal, this episode is a raw, compassionate, deep dive into the psychology of desire, avoidance, and emotional repair.Episode Highlights: 00:00 Defining Cheating and Its Complexities07:28 The Role of Kink in Infidelity19:32 Living Authentically in Relationships22:13 Practicing Honesty in Relationships24:28 Facing the Fear of Abandonment32:11 Resources for Healing and SupportConnect with Lauren: https://www.laurenlarusso.com/contacthttps://www.instagram.com/laurenlarussoConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Join Beau Delacroix, a content creator and artist known for his erotic storytelling and handmade kink implements, as he dives deep into the art of kink. He discusses how creativity enhances control, sharing personal tales of navigating dominance with empathy. Beau also opens up about crafting unique kink toys, the importance of emotional intelligence in relationships, and how his unconventional upbringing shaped his artistic expression. Curious about finding compatible partners in the kink community? Beau offers valuable tips too!

In this insightful conversation, Aubrey Aust, a graduate student at NYU and researcher in relational psychology, explores the fascinating intersection of BDSM, desire, and self-discovery. They discuss how kink functions as a 'relational laboratory' to build trust and safety. Aubrey dives into Freud's theories on fantasy and how childhood dynamics with parents influence adult desires. They also examine honesty’s role in intimacy, the therapeutic potential of kink, and the importance of somatic awareness in understanding consent.

Join Annette Benedetti, a certified sex and intimacy coach and host of Talk Sex with Annette, as she dives deep into the pleasures of anal play. Annette shares practical tips for preparation and cleanliness, discusses essential toys, and emphasizes the power of communication and consent. She breaks down the myths surrounding virginity and highlights the importance of curiosity over shame. With laughter and real-life advice, listeners will gain confidence to explore this intimate adventure safely and joyfully.

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.Episode 54 - In this episode, I sit down with Lee, founder of ConCations, the company behind Kinky Cruise and Kinky Caribbean, to talk about what really happens when the kink world hits the high seas. We get into how these cruises came to life, what makes them so different from your typical hotel takeovers, and why so many people leave feeling more connected than ever to themselves, their partners, and the community.Lee also opens up about his own 24/7 power exchange dynamic, what it’s like juggling kink, family, and polyamory, and why these events are about so much more than sex. They’re about finding your people, building real intimacy, and creating spaces where everyone belongs.If you’ve ever wanted to explore lifestyle travel or just love the idea of a vacation where consent, connection, and play come first, this episode will have you ready to pack your cuffs (and maybe your sunscreen).Episode Highlights(00:00) From Weekend Cons to Weeklong Connections(10:00) Bridging Swingers and Kinksters with Swinkation(20:00) High Protocol vs. Everyday Power Exchange(33:00) Beach Parties, Dungeons, and Sex-Positive Play(39:00) Connecting Before the Cruise Starts(41:00) Why This Is Perfect for BeginnersJoin the next Kinky Cruise! Head to https://www.ConCations.com and use the code TKC50 for fifty dollars off your booking!Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Shelby Devlin, a Somatica-certified sex and relationship coach, shares her fascinating journey from fetish boutique worker to BDSM educator. She discusses the intriguing concept of 'Barbie bondage' during her youth and how her personal experiences led her to Somatica training. Shelby emphasizes the importance of shame-free exploration, communication, and safety in BDSM practices. With practical tips for beginners and insights into her book, The Pleasure Protocol, she sheds light on how BDSM can foster self-awareness and deeper connections.

Explore the fascinating world of BDSM with Lucas and Hazel as they discuss the importance of trust and safety in extreme play. Discover how they navigate the line between fantasy and reality, emphasizing empathy and communication. They share insights on eroticizing shame, maintaining daily power dynamics, and creating authentic content in the adult industry. Tune in for their unique perspective on integrating kink into everyday life, along with tips for couples looking to explore their limits!

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/Episode 51 - Ever wondered what really goes down on a Temptation Cruise? Think clothing-optional pool decks, wild theme nights, and the kind of freedom you definitely don’t get on a regular vacation.In this episode, I sit down with Mario Cruz, the Cruise Director who knows all the secrets, to share why these couples-only trips keep selling out. From first-timers finding their confidence to hands-on BDSM workshops and sensual massage classes, Mario gives us a peek behind the curtain at what really makes Temptation Cruises unforgettable.If you’ve ever thought about lifestyle travel or just want to know why people call this “spring break for adults,” this is the episode that will have you ready to pack your bags.Episode Highlights: (00:00) What Happens Inside The Temptation Cruises(04:05) Exploring the Lifestyle on Board(06:56) Cruise Itineraries and Destinations(11:33) Educational Workshops and Activities(17:34) Booking Information and Upcoming CruisesJoin the Temptation Cruiseshttps://temptationcruises.com/Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1