The Kink Consultant Why Obsession Happens and Why Fighting It Makes It Worse with Kirsten Aut
Jan 1, 2026
In this engaging discussion, Kristen Aut, an obsession coach and founder of New Badass You, explores the complexities of obsession and attachment. She reveals why trying to 'just get over it' is ineffective, emphasizing the role of the nervous system. Kristen shares personal stories of attachment and redefines obsession as a reflection of one's higher self. The conversation delves into communication, accountability in relationships, and the importance of intuition when navigating modern dating. Listeners gain valuable insights into managing desires with compassion.
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Obsession Is A Nervous-System Signal
- Obsession often feels shameful but reflects a nervous-system hijack, not a moral failing.
- Kristen Aut reframes obsession as information about unmet needs and attachment patterns.
Skepticism Turned Into Seeking Help
- Amanda describes seeing Kristen's Instagram that told her to lean into obsession rather than force it away.
- Curious and skeptical, Amanda spent 24 hours thinking only about Kristen before hiring her.
You Crave A Reflected Higher Self
- Obsession often attaches to a fantasy version of oneself reflected by another person, not the person themselves.
- Letting go can feel like erasing the future-self the other person briefly revealed.