Oh…sometimes life is a real doozy.You make all these plans, and boom. You step right into a pile of you-know-what. And then you realize that pile was there all along—you just missed it.Which brings us to the topic of today’s episode: making hard decisions and moving on from hard relationships.How do you move forward when… You feel so torn about what to do.You don’t trust yourself.You’re scared to make the wrong decision.What’s best for you will impact the people you love.How do you decide your next big move when everything you worked for evaporates before your eyes? How do you stop thinking about your ex, especially when you might bump into them at any moment?I’ll tell you how.Pull up a seat and join me because you are going to love the listener, Katrina, who I’m coaching today. Her question was, "Should I stay or should I go?"By the end of this episode, you’ll not only have the answer to whatever question YOU are grappling with, but you'll also have so many decision-making tools in your back pocket that you’re going to need more pockets.Today, you’re getting strategies to help youLive your life with no regrets.Keep your cool when you see your ex.Bounce back after rejection.Stop feeling guilty about following your dreams.Make courageous decisions.The biggest takeaway? Knowing the difference between what’s right for you and the fear that’s keeping you from itWhen something is right, even if it’s scary as hell to go for it, you’ll only ever regret not having tried.Xo MelPS - If you’re looking to ditch your insecurities for a powerful way to launch forward on your dreams, I’ve got just the thing for you. Sign up for my FREE Take Control mini course here. In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:20: Ever been dumped? Then you’ll relate to what Katrina is going through.4:00: The kind of decisions that change your life don’t happen in your brain.6:30: When you have a big decision to make, ask yourself this question.8:15: Holding yourself back because you feel guilty? Listen to this.11:00: The single biggest quality you want in any partner? It’s always this.14:00: There are always red flags before a breakup, whether you saw them or not.16:15: You deserve nothing less than these qualities from your partner.19:00: Try role playing with a friend to help you get the closure you crave.23:45: Use this strategy to help you make a weighty decision.27:40: Takeaway #1: Stop running away. Think of it this way instead.30:15: Takeaway #2: If you want closure, you have to do these two things.30:30: Takeaway #3: If you’re going to hold yourself back, own it. Don’t blame others.31:00: Takeaway #4: You’re making it much harder in your head.32:00: Takeaway #5: As soon as somebody doesn’t want you, they’re not your person.33:30: Takeaway #6: Please stop doing this after a breakup.35:00: Takeaway #7: If it’s not love, it’s a lesson.35:30: Takeaway #8: Don’t be caught off guard by preparing ahead of time.37:00: Takeaway #9: You don’t need someone else to feel complete.38:00: Takeaway #10: Don’t let your fears hold you back. Disclaimer

At some point, the you-know-what is going to hit the fan.And it happened to me the other morning when I was driving my husband to his colonoscopy.This is the first episode without a video version because I recorded it from my iPhone after dropping my husband off at the hospital.I promised to take you into my life; I just didn't expect it to be as a stressful situation was unfolding in real time.When it comes to dealing with stress, best-selling psychotherapist and researcher Harriet Lerner says that being an underfunctioner or an overfunctioner is your patterned response to dealing with the alarm in your body.It probably doesn’t surprise you that I am what researchers call an "Overfunctioner." My husband, Chris, is an "Underfunctioner," especially on those days when he’s on the way to a medical procedure.And learning the way YOU react to stress is a game-changer for your relationships.An overfunctioner like me allows the alarm in my body to take over in stressful situations, becoming triggered and anxious.And the only way to calm the alarm is to bark orders, manage the phone calls, organize the activities, make the appointments, plan the meals, and take on all the responsibilities because it gives me a sense of control.It may be my superpower, but it also makes me a royal pain in the a$$ and takes away the chance for Chris to feel empowered.The way Chris deals with stress is more chill and very methodical, which frustrates the hell out of me.Listen today as we work through these two different ways of dealing with a stressful family situation so that you can understand your own approach better and, more importantly, how to ask for what you need from others before you drive them nuts.And if you’re ready to take the next right step to live your life with more confidence and no regrets, this is your time.Sign up for my exclusive signature course, Launch with Mel Robbins. It’s available for registration only through May 4, so grab your spot today!Learn all the exciting details and sign up here!Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:00: Let me set the scene for you before everything started blowing up.4:30: Here’s how I set myself up to fail the night before.7:15: Then life kicks in big time and cue the mom guilt flood gates.10:40: Here’s what overfunctioning stress looks like in real life. Can you relate?14:30: If you don’t catch yourself in this state, your relationships pay the price.23:00: Chris nails the good, the bad, and the ugly side of overfunctioning.24:15: I thank Harriet Lerner for her research that helps me understand myself.26:30: Here’s how my anxiety sees my husband’s “underfunctioning” response to stress.28:30: And this is how Chris sees my “overfunctioning” response.32:00: Have a partner who handles stress differently? Here’s how to support each other.38:00: Chris explains what happens in HIS brain and body when he’s stressed.42:30: Holy mackerel, I just realized I never stopped to do this in my stress episode.46:00: This is a tool our couple’s therapist gave us that really helps us to see each other. Disclaimer

You can be rich.(Don’t roll your eyes at me; I’m serious.)This is not what you think.This episode today is so digestible. So counterintuitive. One of the most enlightening conversations I’ve had with anybody. If I had a nickel for every epiphany I had during this episode, I’d be rich.Most of us have been thinking about money all wrong.It turns out that the amount of money you have in the bank (or don’t have in the bank) is only a small part of your relationship with money.I didn’t realize this until I got to sit down with the incredible Ramit Sethi.He’s a NYT best-selling author and finance advisor with a brand new, top-ranked Netflix series called How to Be Rich, where he coaches real people about how to take control of their financial lives.He says you’ve been thinking about money all wrong. This is one of my favorite conversations ever.It changed the way I think about money.If you were told that you need to create a budget and stick to it, Ramit calls BS.Instead, you’ll learn about your money dials, the only four numbers that matter, the 85% Rule, why the 10 Year Bucket List is so important, the one thing you should NEVER say about yourself, and best of all, what it means to live a Rich Life.Today’s episode is going to change the way you SEE money, because when you see it differently, you’ll treat it differently.If you’re feeling crushed by debt, you’re trying to save for a new home, you can’t stop spending, or you’re constantly getting into arguments with your partner over money issues, you need to hear this episode today.You have to learn to feel confident around money, and Ramit has the practical tools and resources to teach you how.And if you’re looking for another zero-cost resource to help you change your mindset around finances, I’ve got just the thing.Sign up for my free training called Take Control with Mel Robbins.  You’ll be joining a quarter million other students who’ve signed up already and you’ll get 3 incredible video trainings plus a 21-page workbook that will help you get the clarity you’re looking for to change the direction of your life. All you have to do is sign up here. Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 6:05: Just like me, Ramit has his own story of big-time money loss. 11:20: Assignment #1: Think back to your 20’s and ask yourself this question. 12:45: How do your childhood influences impact your beliefs around money?19:30: This is a truth bomb about money that you need to hear. 20:15: If you want to live a rich life, you need to do two things.22:30: My favorite thing to spend money on might seem ridiculous.24:45: Wondering what most people love to spend money on? 30:00: Why is it important to come up with a fun vision around money?33:30: How do you define your “rich life”?34:30: What is a rich life for someone living in debt?37:45: I think everyone listening needs to do this fun activity.40:30: Especially if life is hard right now, THIS is what you have to do..45:30: Here’s how you step your way closer to your rich life.47:00: How can you feel in control of something if you don’t understand the details?48:30: The four numbers everyone should know to stop feeling overwhelmed by money.56:00: NEVER say this about yourself because it will create your reality.59:00: We have a bad relationship with money in this country.50:00: Use this tool to figure out how long it will pay off your debt.1:06:30: The two areas most people spend too much money on.1:10:00: Ramit lays down the bottom line about changing your mindset around money. 1:13:00: Here’s your new money mantra to play on repeat.  Disclaimer 

A few years ago, I found this study from Harvard, and it changed my life.It's research about performance and feeling nervous, with a simple reframing method that you can use to never let fear stop you again.I’ve been using this technique with my five second rule for years, and the first way I applied it was to get control of my nerves and fear of public speaking.I’m going to teach you this new method in a super cool way... by taking you on the road, on stage, and behind the scenes with me as I deliver a keynote address to 3,000 people at the convention center in Dallas.I’ve been wanting to bring you on the road with me for awhile, and this topic allowed me to record this episode live in multiple locations while all kinds of things were unfolding.There’s even an impromptu guest appearance from Michelle Poler, whose entire speaking career is about teaching people how to face their fears.This Harvard-backed technique is so cool because it leverages your body chemistry, physiology, and neural pathways to your advantage.The #1 fear most people have is public speaking, but this technique will help you with absolutely everything, whether it’s speaking up at work, giving an incredible presentation, not choking when you deliver the toast at your best friend’s wedding, performing better on tests, or even running better.Stop letting fear hold you back. Use science not only to reframe your fears into excitement but to conquer them once and for all.And one more thing. My free, brand new, research-backed training called "Take Control with Mel Robbins" is live and waiting for you. Get 3 incredible video trainings plus a 21-page workbook, and all you have to do is sign up here.Already a quarter of a million students are taking the course for free.I’m just waiting for you!Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 5:00: I’m always asked how I got into public speaking. Here’s the story.10:15: The question YOU need to ask when someone asks how much you charge.12:15: One of THE best tools to calm your nerves is not meditation (for me), but this.13:30: This is my favorite quote from Charlie Bird Parker.15:15: The wardrobe failure that may have rivaled Janet Jackson’s.16:30: Failure sucks, but the Pratfall Effect says failure can work for you. 19:00: I was so excited to meet this speaker and bestselling author from Venezuela.21:45: Best journal starter question ever: Are you alive but not living?24:30: Feeling like you never have time? You’re not going to believe this advice.28:15: Turns out modeling nude is actually a really profound experience. 29:00: Fear might indicate danger OR it might indicate growth. Pay attention.30:00: How can you tell the difference between true intuition and limiting fear?32:30: How do you get over your fear of public speaking?34:00: Feeling imposter syndrome? You’re not alone. Here’s what you need.40:15: Come on stage with me at the Dallas Convention Center.40:40: I’m going to face my biggest fear next year for Oakley’s 18th birthday.42:00: When you do something that scares the pants off you, remember this.44:30: Tool #3 is based on research from Harvard - here’s what you tell yourself.50:00: You don’t feel butterflies when you’re nervous because you’re going to screw up. Disclaimer

In this episode, you’re learning a simple but powerful way to take control of your mindset. You need to get serious about your mindset. The way you think and talk to yourself has serious consequences.Your thoughts become your beliefs.Your beliefs turn into actions.Your actions become habits.And your habits determine who you are and what you achieve in life, or not.That’s why you need a Mindset Reset.Imagine if your thoughts were positive, empowering, clear, and encouraging. Imagine if your beliefs inspired the best in you.If you’re tired of listening to a voice that beats you down, fills you with doubt, and argues against your goals and dreams, it’s time to change your thinking.Today, you’ll learn how to do it for yourself and start programming a more positive, empowering, and confident mindset.So pull up a seat as I coach two people through the process.I’m so confident you’re going to be fired up after listening to this episode that I have a free gift to help you take your current mindset to the next level.I have a brand new, free, 3-part training called "Take Control with Mel Robbins."It will provide you with the coaching, structure, and support you need to hit reset, take control, and level up your life.It features 3 brand-new training videos, two hours of research-backed curriculum taught by me, and a 21-page workbook. Plus you’ll be with hundreds of thousands of other students taking the course for free around the world.All at zero cost to you. Why? Because you deserve it, and it’s my way of thanking you for being here with me.You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. Why not take advantage of this opportunity? I’ll see you in the course!Xo Mel In this episode, you will learn: 5:00: What does your default critical soundtrack sound like in your mind?7:30: Here’s the mantra I want you to start your day with. 9:45: This is one of my easiest and favorite tools for dealing with a critical voice.16:00: This is the #1 hit playlist I want you to put on repeat. 17:30: Drop this word if you want to improve your relationship with others.22:30: Work on the most important relationship of all first.24:15: What if your critics are the voices of your boss, partner, and friends?26:25: This trauma response is very common when you live in a state of anxiety.30:15: Here’s why telling yourself that you love yourself doesn’t work for you.32:00: Yes, your boss may be a douche, but you don’t have to let that ruin you.35:00: Don’t leave today without taking away this message. Disclaimer

This episode blew my freakin’ mind.After you meet our expert today and learn her revolutionary approach to simplifying your life, you will never approach the topic of picking up, cleaning up, or organizing the same way again.Whether it’s your desk or closet that is overwhelming you, or like me, you are guilty of constantly starting projects and putting things in piles, only to run out of time or get flustered, creating bigger projects to deal with in the future, today’s episode will change your entire life.I had no idea how simple it could be to feel organized and in control.I learned from our expert today that I was attacking organization completely wrong, and that was the problem.Her 5 steps are so life-changing that from the moment I finished talking to her, I started putting them into practice, and the results are incredible.Get ready to laugh and learn as I confess the details of what a disaster I am (my husband even rats me out).Luckily, the incredible Dana K. White, founder of the hit blog, A Slob Comes Clean, and author of How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind, is here to help us all.And that's not all.Don’t forget to sign up for "Take Control with Mel Robbins."It’s free. It’s my gift to you for supporting this podcast.It features 3 brand-new training videos, two hours of research-backed curriculum taught by me, and a detailed 21-page workbook.This training will provide you with the coaching, structure, and support you need to hit reset, take control, and level up your life.And if you combine this training with Dana’s advice about decluttering, you, my friend, won’t even recognize yourself in a week.All at zero cost to you. Why? Because you deserve it, and it’s my way of thanking you for being here with me.You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. So why not take advantage of this opportunity?Sign up for free at melrobbins.com/takecontrol now.In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:00: What Chris thinks about living with a slob. 😂4:40: Wait. Organizing and decluttering are NOT the same thing?6:20: Focus this way on organizing, and it will change your life.7:30: Why doesn’t it work to buy all those organizing containers?9:45: How do you know what your “clutter threshold” is?12:15: We’ve gotten the purpose of containers all wrong!17:40: Use “the visibility rule” before you do anything.20:00: This is why you begin with a BLACK trash bag.23:30: This part is still pretty easy. I can do this and you can, too.25:00: Here’s why you don’t want a fancy “donate” box.26:30: The decluttering question you’ve never heard before.30:45: Here’s what REALLY happens with those organized piles.31:50: No piles. Here’s what you do instead.34:15: This is why we always put off organizing in the first place.37:35: The second decluttering question you’ve never heard before.39:00: Stop making organizing seem so big!43:30: Spoiler alert: avoiding clutter doesn’t make it go away.48:30: So how DO you live with a partner who’s a slob? Disclaimer

Today’s episode is a continuation of our exclusive two-part series with world-renowned medical expert Dr. Russell Kennedy.If you thought Part 1 of this series was life-changing, buckle up! Part 2 of this Toolkit brings you even more strategies and tools as we take questions from three more listeners of the podcast.Is anxiety impacting your ability to sleep?Tired of the negative loop of thoughts in your mind?Is anxiety affecting your kids?Is it genetic?Are there surprising signs of adult anxiety?Did your parents struggle with it, and you never knew?How do you break generational cycles?Dr. Kennedy answers these questions and so many more. You’ll also learn what most therapists get "wrong" about anxiety.You'll find Dr. Kennedy’s approach both revolutionary and effective. As a medical doctor and neuroscientist, he will coach you on the critical difference between "coping” with anxiety and his protocol for "healing" it once and for all.And for anyone in your life who may be struggling, please share this exclusive series generously; it could provide the life-changing answers and guidance they need to finally heal.If you are looking for more free resources and support, I’ve got you! I have a brand new, free 3-part training called "Take Control with Mel Robbins."This training will provide you with the coaching, structure, and support you need to hit reset, take control, and level up your life.It features 3 brand-new training videos, two hours of research-backed curriculum taught by me, and a detailed 21-page workbook. Plus, you’ll be taking the course with over half a million other students around the world.All at zero cost to you. Why? Because you deserve it, and it’s my way of thanking you for being here with me.You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. So why not take advantage of this opportunity?Sign up for free at melrobbins.com/takecontrol now.Xo Mel  P.S. And if you haven’t yet listened to The Toolkit for Healing Anxiety, Part 1 then do that as soon as you listen to this one, because you can’t afford to miss out. P.S.S. This Toolkit for Healing Anxiety is not meant as a replacement for therapy, but if you’ve been seeing a therapist for a while, forward this series to them for guidance too. It would be great information to include in your sessions. In this episode, you’ll learn:3:45 What do you do when your anxiety creeps in at night?6:15: Here’s where most therapeutic approaches get it wrong.7:15: Use this strategy when you wake up in the night with anxiety.10:00: Living with social anxiety? Dr. Kennedy explains why.12:00: This is why you have a hard time slowing down. And me too!14:30: I couldn’t believe what happened when I started facing my anxiety.15:45: Cold plunges teach your body to be uncomfortable and still be okay.17:15: This approach doesn’t eliminate the alarm, and yet you still heal.20:00: Dr. Kennedy’s #1 tool to move you into rest-and-digest pretty quickly.21:15: Not sure what your nervous system has to do with anxiety? Listen here.23:45: Use these two tools to move yourself out of the freeze response.30:00: So how do you start breaking the cycle of anxiety in a family?34:30: For those of us who grew up in the “I’ll give you something to cry about.”35:00: What are signs that your parents were actually struggling with anxiety?43:30: Here’s what your life can look like once you heal your alarm.45:15: Look at your alarm this way, and your mindset towards it changes, too.49:45: Here’s the neuroscience behind why essential oils help calm your body.52:00: Dr. Kennedy shares his tips for playing “the right way.”56:15: Have this where you can see it to remember your partner’s vulnerability. And if you missed when Dr. Kennedy joined us the first time, click here! Disclaimer

Today’s episode is my gift to you and anyone in your life who struggles with anxiety.I created this exclusive series, "The Toolkit for Healing Anxiety," because of the number of questions I am receiving from listeners asking for more resources on this topic. Part 1 is packed with tactical takeaways and features Dr. Russell Kennedy, one of the world's most respected medical experts on anxiety. Dr. Kennedy is a medical doctor and neuroscientist who has a revolutionary and effective approach to helping his patients understand and heal anxiety.(He's also been our most popular expert on the podcast to date.)Dr. Kennedy teaches you the truth about where anxiety comes from and the mistake that most therapists make when treating it. You’ll also have a front-row seat as he coaches listeners on the critical difference between "coping with anxiety" and his protocol for "healing it" once and for all.I can’t wait for you to listen and apply the advice in this life-changing series.And for anyone in your life who may be struggling, please share this exclusive series generously; it could provide the answers and guidance they need.If you have follow-up questions, send them to me in the DMs or through the podcast topic link on melrobbins.com/podcast. We read them and use them to program future episodes (this toolkit is an example of that).This episode is not meant as a replacement for therapy, but if you’ve been seeing a therapist for a while and aren’t seeing yourself improve, you may want to forward this series to them for guidance too.Xo Mel Didn’t get to listen to Dr. Kennedy’s first interview? Check that out here.In this episode, you’ll learn: ·         5:00: I bet you haven’t heard this definition of anxiety before. . ·         6:15: So where exactly does anxiety come from?·         7:30: This is a revolutionary way of thinking about how to heal anxiety.·         8:45: If you’re waking up this way, that’s a red flag. ·         9:45: A trauma response isn’t directed outward- it’s here instead.·         12:00: Have you tried everything to deal with your anxiety? ·         14:45: Forget what you’ve tried so far, THIS is what will actually heal you.·         19:00: This sign of anxiety may surprise you. ·         22:00: Anxiety happens because of this and addictions “fix” it·         24:00: I think there are these three layers to healing your anxiety.·         27:15: What the hell does “inner child” mean and why does it matter?·         30:00: There’s a difference between drama and trauma. ·         34:00: Dr. Kennedy tried everything, but only this healed his anxiety.·         37:00: Okay, what’s one specific and tangible tool we can use?·         40:30: Do this together with me now.·         44:00: Here’s why play is so important for healing trauma.·         47:00: Healing will take time. Here’s why and what you need. Disclaimer

Today, you and I are calling BS on partners, friends, siblings, colleagues, and roommates who ride on your coattails, mooch off your generosity, and love the fact that you do everything. (While they do next to nothing.…) It’s time to take your power back with 5 actionable takeaways to get people in your life to step up and do their part. I’m not messing around. The first person you’ll meet in this episode is tired of being the only one holding her family together.   And during the second coaching session I get even more intense with a woman whose boyfriend hasn’t had a job in three years. Hear me loud and clear: by enabling other people, you are part of the problem.  There are 5 things you need to know that will change this dysfunction now. Clear your schedule for the next hour because you and I have an appointment where you, my friend, will learn how to lay down the law and start putting yourself first. Xo Mel  Can’t ask for what you need? Listen to “How to Speak Up for Yourself.” In this episode, you will learn: 3:00: Do you have people in your life who rely on you a little too much?4:30: Maybe you’re being used or maybe it’s this instead.7:00: Is it time for you to be the parent now?10:00: This is how to get your entire family on the same page.14:00: Your siblings will understand your expectations if you do this.17:15: Do this to make people feel that they’re doing the right thing.21:30: Have a partner that isn’t pulling their weight? You need to hear this.35:00: This is how you start a conversation when it’s time to set boundaries.38:30: In a toxic partnered relationship? This is the truth bomb you need.40:15: Has it become more important to be loved than to love yourself?44:45: Let me coach you through this exercise to help you change your future.48:00: Another truth bomb you need to hear today, no matter what you’re doing.51:45: Listen to Brooke set a courageous boundary for the first time.54:00: Keep little ears away, because this is what tough f’n love sounds like.56:30: Stop letting your patterns make choices for you and step up.1:00:45: Use this word instead of “ultimatum” when it’s time for that. Disclaimer

In this episode, you and I are talking about how to protect your peace. You already spend a lot of time trying to be positive - so today I want to remind you that it is just as important to protect your energy  from people and situations who suck it dry.  You know the ones.  The friend who is so n-e-g-a-t-i-v-e, about everything! The rude person at the coffee shop. The colleague who’s always stirring the pot.The toxic dynamic with certain family members. Negative people are like dogs who have just jumped into a muddy pond. They come running up to you smelling all nasty and as soon as they get next to you - boom - they shake all that crap all over you.  It’s time to protect yourself. Today’s podcast episode will teach you six super easy science-backed strategies to help you create an impenetrable force field against bad energy (and muddy dogs). You can’t allow that crap to get on you - because your positive life force deserves your protection! And today I’m teaching you how.  Force fields up! Positive energy out! Because that, my friend, is something to feel great about! Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:00: Jumping right in with Veronica’s question about emails that ruin her day.3:50: You probably have your own stories of entitlement like this one.7:30: This technique I use when somebody’s mood is getting all over me.9:15: The “snow globe” works best when you’re getting attitude.12:30: I know this about people when they explode into a tantrum.14:30: Science explains why our bodies stress when we’re around bad moods.17:20: Work in a toxic environment? You have these two choices.22:40: Dealing with a curmudgeon? I got you. Use the law of reciprocity.26:00: Here’s how I melted the ice when I became a legal analyst with CNN.29:30: Gossip is bad for your brain and body. Here’s why.31:30: Here’s the #1 strategy to stop your gossip today.33:30: Once you see triangulation, you’ll look at your relationships differently.36:00: This one simple strategy can brighten someone’s day right now. Have you been betrayed? Listen to “What to do when you’ve been cheated on.”Need a confidence boost? Here’s your “Confidence Toolkit.” Disclaimer