If you’ve ever dreamt of doing something big, today's episode will get your head spinning, open your heart, and inspire you to take the leap. It doesn’t matter how young or how old you are. You are meant to go big, to swing for the fence, and to do something no one has ever done before.  No more small plans. You have something big to do. And there’s no better person to inspire you to make big plans than my friend and IT Cosmetics Founder, Jamie Kern Lima.  Jamie went from serving up stacks of pancakes at Denny’s to creating a product that would help millions of women around the world feel confident in their own skin.  Today you’ll hear the story of how she transformed the beauty industry, created the most successful product launch in QVC history, and ultimately sold IT Cosmetics to L’Oreal for 1.2 billion dollars (becoming the first female CEO at L’Oreal in their history).  If you think Jamie had it easy on the way there, you’d be wrong. And you won’t have an easy time either, but so what?Her story is a rollercoaster of rejection and disappointment, fear, self-doubt, and near bankruptcy. But when you’ve got big plans, you just keep going. Jamie never lost faith, and today she is teaching you how to never give up on your big plans either.  In today’s episode, you will learn What to do when you have no idea what you’re doing.Why it’s okay to do something that’s been done plenty of times.What it’s like to pitch live on QVC.How to handle someone saying “Women won’t buy from someone who looks like you.”How to believe in yourself when nobody else does.A truth about success we rarely ever hear about.What to do when QVC says “NO you can’t sell that way.”How to react when some idiot tells you they won’t invest in you.How to break into an industry event and pitch your idea.How to harness belief in yourself when you want to give up.Wow. Just wow. If you don’t know what to get the graduates in your life, send this episode because it’s a real gift.  Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 4:50: Introducing today’s guest- my good friend, Jamie Kern Lima.7:30: Jamie learned this important skill while working as a server at Denny’s.9:00: Never disregard the seasons of your life that feel setbacks.10:00: What the hell does it mean that our lives are happening “for” us?10:45: Here’s how Jamie defines life’s purpose. 13:15: If you hate your job, listen to this.16:50: The moment where Jamie knew she was meant to do something meaningful.20:15: Not sure what your purpose is? Think about what you struggle with.24:00: This is the biggest reason we talk ourselves out of following our dreams.27:30: But how do you get started when you don’t even know what to do?32:00: Ever had a gut feeling? Hear Jamie define intuition and how to tune in.35:30: Try going through your day this way and build your intuition muscle.37:20: Two reasons why we go through horrible, unspeakable times.38:30: This was the biggest rejection moment that inspired Jamie to keep going.41:15: Listen to the “no” or listen to the “knowing.” You get to choose.44:30: How do you determine the NEXT right step?46:45: Jamie lands a ten-minute do-or-die spot on QVC after multiple rejections.57:00: Here’s how all that rejection became Jamie’s strength.1:02:00: Does your purpose have to be part of your job? Disclaimer

This is a message for every new graduate.Whether you’re graduating from college or graduating from a chapter in your life, you need this message today. Your dreams matter, and what happens next is in your hands.You have a flame inside you that represents the way you were meant to show up in this world.Today I’m teaching you how to throw gasoline on that flame.No matter what you're going through in life, your dreams are alive and well, and they are waiting for you to wake up and turn toward them.If you’re not ready for some Mel Robbins inspirational firepower, bookmark this for another day. Because I’m not f’ing around today.Whether you’re ready to make your mark on the world...Or you’re tired of your excuses...Or if you're like Barbara, who you'll meet in this episode, and you've given up on your dreams because they haven’t materialized yet…This may be the most important 50 minutes of your life.I’m going to show you -the three ways you shut down your dreams-why jealousy is actually a good thing-the one question to ask in the morning that will impact the entire rest of your dayAnd if you don’t even remember what it’s like to dream, I’ve got you.This episode includes a free download of an incredibly powerful, science-backed tool that will help you start dreaming again.Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn:  3:30: These are the moments that define your life.9:15: Here’s what happens before every time I reinvent myself and my life.10:50: My first dream job never left me and eventually led to this podcast.14:30: Watch for this evidence of your dreams still being alive in your heart.18:15: The first way you extinguish your dreams.18:30: The second way you pour a cold bucket of water on your dreams.18:50: The third way you shut down your dreams.21:45: The science-backed habit that’s going to help you start dreaming again.22:40: Here’s a whole bunch of dream examples, if you need ideas!24:45: What is the Zeigarnik Effect and what does it have to do with your dreams?26:15: I have a free download for you!29:30: Here’s where I gave Barbie some serious tough love because I believe in her.34:30: The one powerful question you’re going to ask yourself every morning. 35:40 On this date, I finally gave myself permission to make my dream happen.37:50: When times get challenging, you should be doing this.40:15: Try this exercise to shine a light on the way you limit what’s possible for you.47:00: All that hard stuff in your life is for a reason.49:15: Think you’re too old for your dreams? Then you need to hear this.51:45: Curious about what happened to Barbara? Listen in.  Disclaimer

Welcome to an exciting new masterclass on designing the life of your dreams.First, you’ll learn the process for identifying your own North Star, why this is important at the beginning of creating your new life, and how to use your North Star to guide you in the process of designing your life.Next, you’ll dive deep into the 3-part framework: Emulate, Assimilate, and Innovate.This framework is the backbone of the University of Southern California’s world-renowned Popular Music major taught at their Thornton School of Music.It’s the creative process artists use to create songs, movies, and video games. The framework has helped launch Grammy-winning artists and touring musicians for the past decade.I just learned about it a week ago and was so blown away that I had to share it with you.When an artist creates a song, they begin with a blank piece of paper.When you design your life, you are an artist with a blank canvas.Today, you’re invited to tap into the artist within and learn how to find your North Star and use the creative process to bring your vision for your future to life.Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:00: Hear me describe the woman who recently became MY North Star.6:40: Choosing this kind of person you want to choose as your North Star is best.8:00: Shout out to Chris Sampson from the Thornton School of Music for these pillars.10:15: If you skip Step One in this process, you’re making your life much harder.14:15: Here’s how Jennifer Aniston made her way into our conversation. 18:10: We start unpacking what Step One of the process looks like, first with music.21:00: Think of the space in between where you are and want to be as special. 22:15: Try using “want” instead of “need” when it comes to goals and see what happens.25:20: This is what I did when I first started to dig myself out, but it took me much longer.28:00: Here’s why this person is my North Star and why he puts a fire in my belly.31:15: Let’s define the first two steps in this important process and how they’re different.34:00: How do you know when you’re done and you’ve become your own North Star?41:45: Kendall’s biggest takeaway from working through this process. 42:45: The way I sign out on all my podcasts was inspired by this woman.  Disclaimer

I shared the "Let Them Theory" on social media, and it went CRAZY VIRAL. 15 million views, 11,000 comments. Today, it’s your turn to learn this mindset trick.I’ve been using this technique for a while, so I know firsthand how powerful it is.The "Let Them Theory" is so simple, you’re going to get it immediately.And I have some great stories and examples to share with you, because there are three very different ways you can use it.I can bottom line this in one sentence: When you "Let Them" do whatever it is that they want to do, it creates more control and emotional peace for you and a better relationship with the people in your life.Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn:2:30: My overfunctioning anxiety kicked in, until this happened.6:30: Dr. Amy Johnson gives the best metaphor that explains our need to control.9:20: Why do we get so upset about what we can’t do a damn thing about?10:30: These three reasons explain why we try to control.11:20: Two reasons why your parents and partners are so controlling.17:00: There are times like these when the “Let Them” rule does NOT apply.19:00: How are you supposed to let go when you’re a parent?24:30: Can you relate to this listener who’s worn down from her expectations?28:00: Stop making up stories about why people do what they do, and just ask.32:10: When you’re constantly rescuing people, here’s what you teach them.35:00: Are you actually in a relationship with a real person, or a vision?37:15: One way we try to control someone is through jealousy.40:00: Growing apart from a good friend? Here’s how to handle it.43:30: It’s not your responsibility to make sure everyone else is never hurt. Disclaimer

If you feel that something’s missing from your life but have no idea exactly what’s missing or where to begin looking for it, today’s episode will help you reconnect with your power and find greater meaning in your life.Dr. Thema Bryant is the current president of the American Psychological Association. She trained at both Duke and Harvard, published multiple best-selling books, and has dedicated decades of her life to researching how we connect with each other by first connecting back to ourselves.Her work has been so profound for me personally that, right off the bat in this conversation, I get emotional.Dr. Thema is a national treasure. Her presence and her voice will put you at ease. And she has the unique gift of weaving together psychological strategies for healing with the deeper spiritual cornerstones of faith and trusting in "that which cannot be explained."In this episode, you’ll learn:-6 signs that you are disconnected from yourself-what it means to be "psychologically wandering"-how to handle people in your life who are chronically irritable and angry-the surprising signs of "irritable depression"-the three words to say to yourself before you can begin healing-why self-care is critical if you are in a toxic workplace (you are more than your labor)-why you need to stop talking about your significant other and your boss in therapy.-where to find therapy when you can’t afford it.You are so much more than a highway for other people to get where they’re going. With Dr. Thema’s wisdom and tactics, you’ll reconnect with yourself and take the wheel on your own incredible journey in life.Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:45: I got really emotional when I acknowledged how my life used to be.6:30: 6 powerful signs that you are disconnected from yourself and what that means.9:00: Even if you’ve never felt home with yourself, you can learn to be home with yourself.11:00: The West African fable that gave me chills and should be required reading for everyone.16:00: This is the first and most powerful step to your “homecoming.”22:00: Do people with an attitude actually have depression?25:20: What is healing, anyway?27:00: How do we handle people in our lives who are irritable, frustrated, and angry?30:00: It’s a big mistake if you wait for this before you start your own healing.36:30: How to know if you need therapy or you need spirituality.41:00: How do you heal from a lifetime of messaging that you’re not worthy?44:00: This is how you handle working in a toxic work environment.48:50: Look to these resources if you can’t afford therapy. Disclaimer

Imagine how liberating it would be to not care about what other people think of you. You’d take more risks. You’d stop holding yourself back. You’d make more money and have more fun. That’s what happened to me when I learned the (not-so-subtle) art of not giving a sh*t.This is the best episode I've done so far.I mean it. The best.It’s hilarious. It’s relatable. It’s packed with takeaways and research. It’s entertaining and personal, and yet I still manage to empower you with 4 simple ways to stop caring about what other people think.Want to know what life looks like when you don’t care? I’ll go first.You’ll hear some outrageous, not-safe-for-work stories about your friend, Mel.And as you’re laughing at me, I’ll be laughing at me, too. One of the benefits of not caring about what other people think is that you don’t take yourself too seriously.Why? Because you have much more important things to care about.Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn:4:00: Hilarious story of me taking my shirt off at an LA restaurant.8:30: Christine says you’re not supposed to show up to meetings this way.14:30: Here’s why wearing ballet flats would have been a failure for me.16:00: Christine’s profound point about judgment really opened my eyes.19:00: When you stop worrying about how you look, others around you will too.23:00: What I think about ugly troll comments so that I can rise above it.27:00: If you’re part of a gossip loop, here’s what you need to do.28:00: It’s not normal to wear a child-size space suit in front of your students?34:00: Jessie could not stop laughing after I did this.36:00: How can you give honest feedback and not sound like a jerk?38:00: The wake-up moment for me around relationships.38:30: My four rules about how not to give a sh*t about stupid stuff.48:30: Kendall revealed something to me that I still can’t believe. Disclaimer

I am thrilled to share this conversation with you. It is packed with practical strategies that will help the people in your life who may be struggling.  Dr. Lisa Damour is a clinical psychologist and author of three New York Times bestsellers.  She earned degrees from both Yale and the University of Michigan and has more than 30 years of experience working with teens and families. Her latest book, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers, has been nothing short of life changing. Today you will learn… -five words you need to know when someone you love is struggling-the signs that tell you when someone is “costly coping”-what to say that will prevent a conversation from turning into a battle-why your kids dump all their emotional garbage on you-when it’s time for a therapist-why struggles are signs of being “mentally WELL”! I started using Dr. Lisa’s strategies with my family the moment we finished recording this episode. They work!  You will leave this episode full of the resources you deserve. Plus, you’re going to love Dr. Damour (and how hopeful she makes you feel) as much as I do.  Xo Mel  And if you need to take the reins in your own life, sign up for my free Take Control mini-course to get inspiring support, guidance, and motivation. In this episode, you’ll learn: 4:00: Two things psychologists look for when assessing mental health.5:15: Too many people are not distinguishing between these qualities.6:15: When exactly IS adolescence?8:30: We’ve had the wrong idea about what it means to be mentally healthy.12:45: What’s the difference between a “normal” reaction vs one to be concerned about?15:10: Do you know someone who is managing by “costly coping.”16:45: So how do you help your kid?20:00: This is how you don’t turn a conversation with your child into a fight.24:00: Take these steps when it’s time to confront your teen.27:30: Here’s how I wish I’d handled Chris’s depression differently.30:20: Let’s look at the difference in emotions between genders.34:15: How do you help people in your life who just can’t let it go?39:00: Do your kids do this, too? It’s called the “defense of externalization.”41:40: This is how my own mother set me straight.44:00: How do you know when it’s time to get a therapist involved?46:30: Can’t find a therapist for your child? Use this resource.48:00: Here’s how the lockdown impacted our kids. 54:30: When are suicide thoughts normal and when are they concerning?58:00: What happened to our nervous system during this time?1:00:00: These are the concerns of Dr. Damour that we should watch for.1:01:30: When do healthy habits become an obsession?1:08:15: How do you let kids have emotions without letting them run the home?1:14:00: Here is the most important thing you can offer your teen. Disclaimer

You know what you want and how to start. But you never make progress. Here’s my wake up call for you today: What’s holding you back is never what you think. Today I am coaching a woman who says: I can’t make myself do what I need to do. I feel like I’m in quicksand. Every time I try to move…I sink. She has:-put on an extra 30 pounds-left her relationship with herself in the gutter-no longer does the things that make her happy-broken promises to herself time and again I bet you can relate.  This is a must-listen if you want to:  be healthier…go back to school..find your dream home…make new friends…go for that promotion…write a book…land your dream job… But you just can’t make yourself take the actions you need to take. Stop frustrating yourself by trying to solve the wrong problem.  Your dreams matter.  Today you’re learning where to find the right solution. Pull up a seat for a conversation with a listener like you as we uncover what’s really holding her back.  Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:15: This metaphor will help you understand why you’re stuck.6:00: I bet you can relate to Ricki’s story. 8:15: The bad news that made Ricki’s face drop.11:30: Here’s why you don’t believe your life will get better.13:30: What happened to you earlier in your life that broke you?18:15: Maybe you resist a part of your life because it links to something painful.21:30: When acute grief turns into chronic, underlying grief.31:00: You can’t invite love, joy, and connection, if you’re closed to it.33:15: I get where Ricki is, because I used to close myself off in the same way.39:30: Here’s my assignment for Ricki that I know she needs to do.41:00: Give yourself permission to be happy again by connecting to this.45:00: Here’s why I truly believe the best years of your life are ahead.46:30: Ricki recorded an incredible update for you and me. Disclaimer

In this episode, you’re going to learn how to decode body language from one of the world’s leading experts on the topic. Janine Driver has been trained by the FBI, CIA, and one of the world’s top hostage negotiators. When a criminal case grabs our attention, every news network calls Janine to analyze body language and critical verbal cues that suspects, politicians, and celebrities are sending so we can tell when somebody is lying. If you love True Crime, you’re going to love this episode, because it’s a masterclass from an expert who’s spent over three decades decoding body language for law enforcement agencies around the country. She will teach you which hand gestures indicate that somebody may be lying, why you should grab your chin during a high-level meeting, why you should never shrug your shoulders if you want to be convincing, and the million-dollar question that you should ask at the end of every single interview. If you’re dating, you’ll learn all kinds of incredible tactics, like why you should never sit directly across from someone on a first date.  This is an incredibly interesting, entertaining, and surprising take on how to build confidence and be smarter about the subconscious signals that other people are sending you all day long.  Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn:3:15: Janine’s early childhood trauma saved her life as a teen.6:00: So how do you go from being a profiler with the FBI to a body language expert?9:30: Which three groups of people can read body language really well?10:00: The hand gesture that says “maybe” even when you’re hearing “yes.”12:30: Listen for the word “left” when you hear it from someone else.13:40: How Janine knew Casey Anthony was lying about her daughter’s death.19:30: What’s your behavioral fingerprint? Here’s how to figure it out.20:00: What is the best question to ask at the end of an interview?21:15: How men state what they need versus how women do.27:00: This is why a shoulder shrug might be a huge clue.31:40: The power of eye contact, unpacked.34:15: What the heck is lip locking and what does it mean when someone’s doing it?36:15: When you’re trying to get the truth out of somebody, use the pause after “don’t”.37:45: Do this to get your kids to tell you the truth.42:30: Ever been interrupted by someone in a meeting? Here’s what you do!47:15: Use this hack to look more confident. 48:00: Janine tells me what my pointy chin means.48:45: Know the difference between Clark Kent and Superman, and you’re all set.52:00: This is the BEST dating advice I’ve heard in a long time.54:15: Here’s how detail-oriented people drink their water.56:30: Next time you’re on a date or an email, tilt the coaster. 58:00: What if you don’t FEEL confident when you use these “non-verbals?”1:02:00: Why belly buttons matter more than the eyes when reading someone.1:04:00: Nervous on a date or an interview? This hack releases nervous energy. Disclaimer

Last week, I learned a really cool trick to help you go with your gut.I guarantee you’ve never heard gut decisions explained this way before. Because I stumbled upon it in a very random way—while touring colleges with our son Oakley!We hit 5 schools in 4 days, and over the course of that time, it hit me. Holy smokes, that's the perfect hack for making big decisions.You can use it anytime you feel torn, uncertain, or scared about how people might feel.What you’re about to learn is so helpful and memorable, you’ll turn to it over and over again.This is one of my favorite kinds of episodes, because I’m going to put you right at the scene—the moment I had the epiphany. I’ll give you all the hilarious details, and there’s even a part of the story where, I am embarrassed to say, I acted pretty cringe-worthy.And that’s not all; as I was taping this episode, two friends chimed in with stories of their own.So I asked them to jump on the mic and share them with you. Two stories about a moment in their lives that’s so relatable—when they ALMOST didn’t go with their gut and looking back, they’re thankful they did.Because going with your gut always changes the trajectory of your life. It just does.That’s why I don’t like the term "trust" your gut.It’s not about trust. You KNOW your gut is right. You’re just scared to go with it.So join me, Oakley, and two of my friends. I’m taking you on an entertaining and profound tour today.Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:30: The moment of my junior year in high school that changed my future.7:00: I am not proud of this mother moment when I lost it.11:00: The question Oakley asked is what we all do when we give up our power.14:15: Here’s what a hard no “feels” like for Oakley.15:45: Do you feel a “yes” in your body like this too?17:00: What our brilliant tour guide did when he separated parents from students.20:30: When it comes to big decisions, step away and go on your own tour. 22:00: Here’s what a “no” and a “yes” usually feels like in your body. 24:00: You’re going to love Amy’s “next big thing” story and how she just knew.31:00: We all have an opportunity in our lives to use this powerful tool.33:00: And if it doesn’t work out the way you thought it would? Listen to this.33:45: Do you have the courage to do this?36:30: So what do you do when you hear the NO louder than the YES?40:30: Jessie literally followed her heart and became her own “tour guide.”42:30: Stop staying you don't “trust your gut” and start saying this instead.43:00: Take time to do this EVERY day, but especially when you have a big decision. Disclaimer