In this episode, you’re going to learn that it is never too late to try to repair a broken or difficult relationship.Research shows that estrangement is not only on the rise but that the majority of us have at least one extended family member or friend who is estranged.I know this is true in my own extended family, and I also have friends who are estranged from their parents.Whether you’re the person who’s cut off contact or you're the one wondering why someone you love did, our episode today will give you the language, tools, and context to start moving toward understanding and healing.Dr. Joshua Coleman is a psychologist and best-selling author who works with families to repair broken bonds and help them reconcile and improve difficult or estranged relationships.In fact, according to Dr. Coleman, the strategies he shares work, and the statistics are in your favor.I hope you share this with anyone you know dealing with a difficult relationship. It is very common, especially after a divorce and when there is a new spouse or significant other.When someone you love suddenly pulls away or cuts you out of their life, you need a playbook to help you know when to reach out and when not to reach out, and what exactly to say and not say.Today you’ll learn:Why estrangement is on the rise.What some therapists do wrong that can make things worse.What to do if you’re the sibling caught in the middle.How to take responsibility, even if you don’t think you should.Early mistakes we make that can lead to estrangement.Early steps we can take to avoid estrangement.How long it takes to reconcile and where to even begin.The pain of separation is real, but it doesn’t have to be forever. Xo, Mel In this episode, you’ll learn:01:04: The silent epidemic that’s happening right now is estrangement.02:10: What is estrangement?04:42: How "cancel culture" is impacting relationships09:07: The horrible advice for estrangement Dr. Coleman got in therapy.12:24: What moving towards a child's trauma looks like14:07: How do you know if someone has deliberately cut you out of their life?16:32: The most common complaint adult children have for their parents19:56: One of the most common pathways to estrangement22:04: The most common mistakes estranged parents make24:32: Why you cannot take things personally26:35: Why radical acceptance is a required step in reconnecting29:50: Let’s unpack why guilt doesn’t work.35:20: What to do when reconciliation isn’t desired by the other person36:32: What are the steps towards reconciliation?39:07: Why Dr. Coleman says that parents have a moral obligation to take the high road42:10: The silent treatment is wrong. Here’s why47:15: When you should stop reaching out for reconciliation49:30: What is an amends letter, and how should you write it?56:18: How do you engage with someone who doesn’t want to engage with you?  Disclaimer

In this episode, I show you how to find your people, have more fun, and create meaningful friendships as an adult in a very simple way. And it starts with your morning coffee.  Plus, I’m sharing 4 opening lines and tactics you can use when approaching a potential new friend. Can we just be honest? Making new friends as an adult is so hard. And I believe that we are all struggling with it. So I’m going to share the strategies that I have used in the last year to go from moving to a new town and feeling like I have "no friends" to taking the steps to create an awesome new circle of adult friends. Today you’ll learn:The ONE practical and life-changing tool you need to create adult friendshipsA fun framework for friendship that involves the 4 different types of coffee shops in your areaThe lies we all tell ourselves about friendships that keep us thinking we have noneHow remote work has changed the friendship gameThe single best place to park yourself on a Saturday morning to find your peopleHow to approach a stranger (potential friend) without coming across as weird, creepy, or awkward What I’m sharing today works because this is how I found my people in the last 12 months. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn:2:37: Today I feel like I’m living in an adult summer camp; it wasn’t always this way.4:31: It is within your power to create community and connection.7:13: What happens when you look through the lens of loneliness?8:55: The #1 mistake I made with my friendships.10:15: If you want the flower to grow, you need to plant the seed. Let me explain.14:05: The lie you’re telling yourself when it comes to friendships.18:44: Why making friends feels so hard nowadays.20:07: A fun framework for friendship that involves the 4 different types of coffee shops in your area.27:58: The coffee shop I go to and why it’s been a gamechanger for meeting potential friends. 31:28: I challenge you to do this the next time you get a coffee.33:08: Friendship is a verb, you have to make it happen.34:18: This ONE tool will allow you to create lasting bonds.35:03: For all my introverts, here is my advice for you...36:18: The easiest ways to create connection in any situation.37:20: Don’t have weekend plans? You will after you do this.41:08: Making new friends can be fun and easy (I’m being serious). Disclaimer

In this episode, you are going to learn why you struggle in certain relationships and how to let more love in. Whether you struggle in your friendships or your romantic relationships, or you don’t feel connected to your family or the community where you live, today's conversation will give you the insight and tools that you need to create better and more loving relationships everywhere. Dr. Marisa Franco is a NYT bestselling author, award-winning therapist, and professor of psychology at The University of Maryland. She dedicated her professional practice to the study of connections and systemic loneliness. What will really catch your attention is her research on attachment styles and what they look like in real time, which has been an incredible game changer for me and my personal relationships, particularly with my husband. Attachment style theory goes way beyond "love languages," and once you know yours, you’ll be less triggered by others around you. Understand the attachment styles of others, and you’ll take things less personally. In today’s episode, you’re getting a complete guide to: What attachment styles are and how they look in real life.The questions to ask yourself to figure out what your style is.How to tell if you’re hanging out with the right people.The one thing avoidant attachment people have a really hard time doing.How your attachment style determines who you’re attracted to.Why you might be confusing being triggered with being in love.Key strategies to start developing a secure attachment style yourself. After listening to this episode, you’ll see the people in your life through an entirely new lens and with an abundance of compassion. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn:4:00: Let’s begin with the first style. What is a secure attachment style?5:10: What does anxious attachment look like?6:00: Avoidant attachment-type people have a hard time trusting.6:30: Those who experienced high-trauma situations are more likely to have this style.8:00: What do these attachment styles look like in real life?11:45: Is it easier to identify attachment styles in yourself or others?17:20: How do you have a relationship with someone who has an avoidant style?20:30: Can you have more than one attachment style?22:00: How can you develop a more secure attachment?26:00: Avoidantly attached people actually do have an underlying need for connection.31:30: These physical symptoms can be a result of your attachment style.35:45: These activities will help you start connecting with your body again.38:20: Here’s how you can create a ‘safe’ space for someone with avoidant attachment.47:50: Why do we always seem to date the same kind of people?49:40: Do you confuse being triggered with being in love?54:45: So how do you find securely attached people to hang out with?57:45: Do this one hack every day to start developing a secure attachment yourself.59:00: This is why understanding attachment styles has been a game changer. Disclaimer

In today’s episode, you will learn the 5 things that men secretly struggle with and how you can open up the conversation to better support them. I’m proud to introduce you to my husband, Chris, who is the founder of a men's retreat, Soul Degree. He has been leading these retreats for the past 6 years and has worked with everyone from veterans, executives, and first responders to college students. Chris has incredible insight into the secrets that men keep and the struggles they’re facing alone.  Hearing Chris unpack these challenges is very compelling. He not only shares insights from leading retreats for 6 years but also from his coaching practice and his work as a death doula.  Many of the struggles that he witnesses in other men are the exact same struggles that he has worked through as well. This is an episode every man, boy, or anyone who identifies as male needs to hear, and so do the people that love them. It’s not just we women who struggle with self-love; everyone struggles with loving themselves.  If you don’t know what’s going on with the men in your life, let me talk to them and let them know it’s okay. That’s why I am teaching you how to start loving yourself with a simple habit that you can add to your routine. Today you’ll learn: The 5 shocking things that most men in your life are struggling withOne habit that has helped hundreds of thousands of people to start showing self-loveWhy it’s so hard to love yourself and the secret to self-loveThe science behind why this habit is transformativeThe profound insight my husband Chris had when he took the 5-day challenge  Love is not something you feel; it’s something you must demonstrate. Xo, Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn:2:25: The 5 shocking things that most men are struggling with4:57: Do you put others' needs above your own? Do this exercise.14:24: Why my husband, Chris, thought this habit was ridiculous at first18:11: When in his life Chris started to feel like a failure25:24: What all men struggle with27:48: 50% of people find it impossible to do this.29:35: What Chris has to say to all the men out there32:34: The profound insight Chris had when he took the 5-day challenge37:40: Why I sign off every letter and every episode the way I do39:06: What you tell yourself every time you do this one habit41:56: The message from a listener that every skeptic needs to hear41:44: Why it’s so hard to love yourself51:50: Why you’re going to want to share this with the men in your life Disclaimer

In this episode, you’re going to learn the 4 happiness habits that, based on research, are scientifically proven to make you happier in 21 days.Happiness is not only possible; it is an option for you.Our guest today is one of the most respected happiness researchers in the world. Shawn Achor is the author of 4 New York Times bestsellers and has created the largest happiness training program in the world. He is here to prove to you that happiness is not only possible but also an option for you.This conversation is packed with practical and proven tools that you can put to work in your life immediately. We will also dig deep into the research that supports everything that you are about to learn.Shawn goes deeper than he has ever gone in an interview, discussing his struggle with depression and how these 4 habits have helped him climb out of it.Get out your notebook because we are drilling into decades of psychological research that will ladder up to more meaning in your life.Today you’ll learn:How to find happiness amidst pain and fearThe 4 simple habits that create more happinessWhat Shawn calls the ‘turning point’ for his struggle with depressionHow to be happy even when you’re lonely and the importance of connection and communityThe first step YOU need to take to living a happier, more meaningful lifeHappiness is not an emotion; it is a framework, and that framework is getting built today!Xo Mel In this episode you’ll learn: 2:04: What is the definition of happiness?3:12: Where can you find happiness amidst pain and fear?10:41: What happens when you become fearful that you will never be happy again?12:53: Step #1 to claiming happiness is recognition. This is why.14:05: This is YOUR starting point for living a happier life.15:49: These 4 simple habits for 21 days will change your life.17:53: What kept Shawn going: the habits that pulled him out of a depression.21:22: Reminder: Happiness is a team sport.29:24: What loneliness actually is32:37: The importance of social connection and community35:14 The story we tell ourselves is how we navigate our lives.40:35: It’s not the end of your story; the reminder I even needed45:47: Happiness is an option, not a choice.48:58: What Shawn learned in Flint, Michigan, about mindset and behavior51:52: The tools and takeaways you need to remember after this conversation Disclaimer

In this episode, you are going to learn the art of having more fun. I share a hilarious story about a major wardrobe malfunction with you and two podcast crew members. You’ll laugh along at all the ridiculous details, but the takeaway is serious: Learning how to laugh at yourself is a superpower, and research says people who have a sense of humor are more respected and are viewed as more confident and intelligent by their peers. Today you’ll learn: How having fun in life is an art formHow to turn something embarrassing into something hilarious and relatableHow humor increases power and statusWhy it’s important to not take yourself too seriouslyHow to create a bond and change the tone in any social situationWhy it’s imperative to never buy a bodysuit that is too small Seriously? You need to laugh more. Let’s start today. Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 01:26: The best feeling in the world: taking your bra off at the end of the day3:52: Chris tells us what the equivalent feeling is for men.5:33: The major wardrobe failure I had yesterday.9:23: Pro tip: always test drive a cool outfit before an event (especially if it includes shapewear).12:09: The worst wedgie that I have ever had.14:41: I can’t believe I just admitted this, but don’t we all do this?19:20: How turning something embarrassing into something hilarious and relatable tightens bonds.21:18: Let everyone in on the joke, it will change the dynamic.22:24: My ultimate moment of relief.26:22: How turning something embarrassing into something hilarious and relatable tightens bonds.31:09: Why does Amy do stand-up comedy, and can you develop a sense of humor at any point?33:52: According to research, the funnier the person, the more respect and power you hold.38:08: I invite you to do this one thing: laugh at yourself.  Disclaimer

Why do you always crave dessert after dinner? Or a snack mid-afternoon?Today we’re digging into the science of cravings: -Why you have them-How to tell the difference between a craving and actual hunger-How to eat your way to better health and a happier life.Dr. Amy Shah is a double-board certified medical doctor with training from Cornell, Harvard, and Columbia Universities and an expert on intermittent fasting, hormones, and food cravings.  And today, I got you and me an appointment with her for free! Let’s friggin’ goooo!If you want to understand your body and how to make your metabolism work for you, Dr. Amy has the research and the tools to help you kick your cravings to the curb once and for all.In today’s episode, you will learn:*when to drink coffee in the morning so you stay energized all day*how cravings relate to dopamine and how to curb them so they never come back*why your sugar cravings are so strong and how to stop them*the truth about probiotics and which ones your body needs right now*what ghrelin and leptin are and why they are the secrets to a healthy metabolism*the shocking research that compares antidepressants to food and exercise*how to stop overeating Our bodies are complicated, but your health doesn’t have to be. Let Dr. Amy empower you to live a more vibrant, fulfilled, and energized life. In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:45: So what’s the difference between hunger and cravings?6:00: Many of our poor food choices are not our fault.19:30: So how do we fix our eating habits if we’re not always in control?20:30: Food and exercise are more effective than drugs for anxiety and depression?!23:20: So what are some of the foods that will boost natural hormones?28:30: Drinking enough water during the day makes you eat less.37:30: Here’s what food companies know about dopamine.41:40: Do this when you want to stop overeating.44:45: Why does dopamine work better when you reward yourself at random times?46:30: What are psychobiotics and how do they stop cravings?50:20: Here’s how your gut and your brain talk to each other and what that means.51:30: What exactly is the relationship between food and bacteria?55:15: So where do we start with supplements?57:30: The #1 probiotic that you should be adding to your days.59:30: How the hell do you get rid of your sugar cravings?1:03:30: Do you get enough sleep? Here’s why that matters.1:06:00 Why you should wait 45 minutes before you drink your coffee.1:08:10: This is what Dr. Amy thinks about intermittent fasting and how she does it.1:10:00: Eat a high-dopamine breakfast to start your day on the right track.  Disclaimer

More and more adults are being diagnosed with ADHD, so today, we are unpacking the 6 surprising signs of ADHD. I also tell you why so many women, in particular, go undiagnosed. This episode is deeply personal, but my story is shared by so many women.I lived my entire life with symptoms of ADHD and crushing anxiety because of it. But I was never diagnosed until the age of 47—and I found out by fluke!So in this episode, I go deep into what ADHD is: a neurological disorder that affects the brain structurally and chemically. I explain the signs and the science behind what is going on in your brain to help you live a better life.If you ever wondered if you have ADHD, if you feel like menopause is making it worse, or if you struggle with anxiety, an eating disorder, or low self-esteem, you have to listen. All these might be symptoms of ADHD.This episode goes way beyond an inability to focus, because ADHD is so much more. This is an education in how your brain works, how focus works, and how to help yourself or someone in your life who may have ADHD.I’ve been wanting to record this episode for MONTHS, but I didn’t want to do it until I had first-class resources for you. Because every time I talk about my ADHD story, we get an avalanche of questions from listeners.I have regrets about that lost time when I did not know I had ADHD, and I don’t want you to have them, too. Today you’ll learn: *why women have been profoundly underdiagnosed*four key differences between genders with ADHD*why my diagnosis was both a blessing and a curse*the surprising way most women find out*six symptoms of ADHD that most people don’t catch*the connection between anxiety and depression and ADHD*resources and hacks to help you take charge over your symptoms Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:44: The surprising backdoor way I was diagnosed with ADHD.6:30: What I learned about the “lost generation” that has blown me away.7:45: A terrifyingly important statistic that led to this podcast episode.9:00: The definition of ADHD that may make you feel better about yours.10:15: Why are women underdiagnosed? The differences in symptoms.19:30: This is how ADHD impacts your brain.22:30: Breaking this myth about this symptom of ADHD.24:45: A really clear metaphor to explain how your brain silences noise, or doesn’t.32:00: How is it I have ADHD, yet I can hyper-focus?34:00: More surprising symptoms of ADHD that might make your relationships hard.38:00: This one hack helps me get birthday gifts for others on time.40:00: The jobs I loved because they worked well with ADHD.43:45: Now here’s the good news!45:30: A predictive statistic about children that you’re going to want to hear. Disclaimer

According to Harvard professor Dr. Luana Marques, there is one sneaky habit that holds every single person back – and no one knows what it is. When she reveals the habit that holds you back, your first reaction will be to stop and think. And as you listen to her explain it and give you examples, you’ll be shocked that you’ve never before seen it in yourself or heard anyone else point it out to you… until now. You’re not the only one. I didn’t know about this habit until I was introduced to Dr. Marques’ work. What you learn today will change how you think about success, influence, mindset, and even anxiety and procrastination. This sneaky habit has been holding you back and you didn’t even realize how pervasive it is in your life. It’s not self-doubt. It’s not fear. It’s something even deeper. I want you to listen, because she’s the world’s leading expert on the topic, and this is one of those episodes that will make you never look at life the same again. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn:1:00: The sneaky habit that’s holding you back, according to Dr. Luana Marques3:00: Dr. Marques’ story will inspire you and explain how she discovered these tools.7:30: Why this specific habit is keeping you from your best life.9:00: How this habit leads to anxiety and panic at work.13:00: Dr. Marques’ turning point in finding the success she has, against all odds.22:00: Unpacking exactly what this habit is and how it holds you back, including your body’s response.27:30: The lie you keep telling yourself.30:00: This is how your brain is working against you.33:00: Simple tools from CBT Therapy research that make a difference.36:00: Exactly what to do when your thoughts spin and how to change your mindset immediately.42:00: This approach works even if you don’t believe it.43:30: How do you stress less and find more peace?47:00: The first thing Dr. Marques does when helping her clients change.50:00: How these strategies apply to parenting and family. Disclaimer

Today we are digging into the research on gratitude. Gratitude is a critical life skill, yet most of us are practicing it wrong. That’s right. According to the research, there are 4 essential elements of genuine gratitude. Without all 4, you can’t unlock the powerful physiological, neurological, and psychological benefits of genuine gratitude. For example, if you’re just thinking about what you’re grateful for or writing a list before you go to bed, you’re probably not getting the full impact of its power. Once you know the 4 steps, you can use genuine gratitude to actively rewire your brain! Next, we’ll discuss the “Toxic Gratitude Theory” and the 6 ways you probably use gratitude in a backhanded or manipulative way – and don’t even know it! I’m guilty of all 6 types of toxic gratitude (ouch) and now that I see it, I can stop doing it. So today, let’s learn how to unlock gratitude and all its profound power. You’ll also learn… The 4 neurotransmitters involved in a science-backed gratitude practiceThe important difference between being just “thankful” versus genuinely “grateful” and why it mattersHow using one specific word is critical to building up your resilienceWhat to say to someone who’s going through a really tough time And because I’m so genuinely grateful for you, I have started rolling out a fun bonus with each episode, Mel Robbins Podcast Bloopers, so listen all the way through for a good laugh! Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 6:00: Ever met someone who just makes you feel so loved and grounded?12:20: What happens in your body when you feel more gratitude?16:00: What’s the difference between being thankful vs. gratitude?21:40: Here are the four important elements of genuine gratitude.25:00: Are you using gratitude in a toxic way? Hear these six types of toxic gratitude.26:00: Let’s unpack the #1 way we engage in toxic gratitude.28:10: The #2 type of toxic gratitude is actually resentment in disguise.29:45: This #3 type will keep you stuck in what’s not working for you.33:00: We use the 4th type of toxic gratitude to escape uncomfortable emotions.36:00: Being mentally well means giving yourself the space to feel all emotions.37:30: Let’s unpack how you use the 5th type when you don’t know what to say.39:00: And please don’t use this type to downplay your accomplishments.41:00: This is one of my favorite acceptance speeches ever.43:00: I looked up the meaning of Judah’s name and couldn’t believe what I found.46:00: So how do you stay grounded in a chaotic environment? Listen to these tips.  Disclaimer