Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

What if the best gift for your child isn't a college fund, but entrepreneurial skills? Ages 8-12 are perfect for kids to develop independence and real-world responsibilities. You'll learn how starting a business can teach communication, initiative, and organization. Hear about a young pet sitter who gains invaluable life skills while building a retirement fund. Plus, discover how to support young entrepreneurs without taking over, balancing guidance and independence for their growth.

Are you worried that social media is destroying your teen's mental health? You're not alone. Jonathan Haidt's bestselling book The Anxious Generation has parents everywhere wondering if smartphones are rewiring their kids' brains and creating a mental health crisis. But before you rush to ban your teen's phone, you need to hear what the research actually shows.   This summary episode brings together all the key insights from our 4-part series examining The Anxious Generation. We take a deep dive into the data behind the teen mental health crisis claims, giving you the essential findings in one convenient episode. You'll discover why those alarming statistics might not mean what you think they do, and why the correlation between social media use and teen depression is actually smaller than the correlation between eating potatoes and teen wellbeing.   We'll explore what really drives teen mental health struggles, from family relationships to academic pressure, and why control-based approaches like phone bans often backfire, pushing our kids further away when they need us most.   Questions This Episode Will Answer Is there really a teen mental health crisis caused by social media? The dramatic statistics may reflect better screening and diagnosis rather than new cases caused by technology.   Does social media actually cause teen depression and anxiety? Research shows the correlation is smaller than that between eating potatoes and teen wellbeing, explaining less than 1% of variance.   Should parents ban phones at school to help kids focus? Academic declines are tiny and international data doesn't support the phone-blame theory.   Will banning my teen's phone at home solve their mental health problems? Control-based approaches often backfire and damage the parent-child relationship.   What affects teen mental health more than social media? Family relationships, academic pressure, sleep, economic stress, and school environment have much bigger impacts.   How can I help my teen with technology without taking it away? Focus on connection, listen more, work together on limits, and address bigger stressors.   Why do teens turn to their phones so much? Phones provide autonomy, connection, and relevance that teens often don't find elsewhere.   What do teens who self-harm actually say about social media? Many feel frustrated by attempts to blame social media and see the narrative as wrong and unhelpful.   How can I create healthy technology habits without damaging trust? Include your teen in creating rules, focus on relationship building, and address underlying needs.   What should I do if I'm worried about my teen's phone use? Look at the whole picture, build connections through listening, and work together on solutions.   What You'll Learn in This Episode Why the "hockey stick" graphs showing teen mental health decline might be misleading, and what factors like better screening and diagnostic changes actually explainThe surprising truth about social media research - including why studies showing harm have major flaws and why effect sizes are incredibly smallWhat the international data really shows about teen mental health across countries with similar smartphone adoption ratesWhy family relationships, not screen time, are the strongest predictor of teen wellbeing according to emergency room dataHow control-based approaches like phone bans create sneaking, secrecy, and damaged trust instead of healthier habitsThe real reasons teens turn to phones - and how to address underlying needs for autonomy, connection, and relevanceEvidence-based strategies for supporting teen mental health that focus on connection over controlWhy different communities experience teen distress differently, and how this affects our understanding of social media's impactHow to have technology conversations with your teen that build trust rather than create power strugglesPractical approaches for creating compelling offline experiences and supporting your teen's individual needs   Dr. Jonathan Haidt’s Book The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness (Affiliate link)   Resources The Anxious Generation Resources   Jump to highlights 00:00 Teaser of today’s episode 02:52 There's a widespread misconception about the teen mental health crisis. People often misunderstand both the root causes and the appropriate responses. Essentially, there's a real problem, but we're looking in the wrong places for causes and solutions 05:08 What’s been covered in the previous episodes of The Anxious Generation Review series 09:06 Social media's mental health impact is small for most teens compared to family relationships, sleep, economics, and academics, though it can harm vulnerable teens while helping marginalized youth find community 12:36 Strategies that can help you support your child 14:44 Wrapping up the series about The Anxious Generation review 16:22 An open invitation to The Anxious Generation resources and scripts to help you talk with your kids about screen time in age-appropriate ways   References Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2016). Epi-Aid 2016-018: Undetermined risk factors for suicide among youth, ages 10–24 — Santa Clara County, CA, 2016. Santa Clara County Public Health Department. https://files.santaclaracounty.gov/migrated/cdc-samhsa-epi-aid-final-report-scc-phd-2016.pdf City of Palo Alto. (2021). City of Palo Alto: Suicide prevention policy and mental health promotion [Draft policy document]. Project Safety Net. https://www.psnyouth.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/DRAFT-Palo-Alto-Suicide-Prevention-Policy-and-Mental-Health-Promotion-dT.pdf Clinical Practice Research Datalink. Clinical Practice Research Datalink (CPRD) is a real-world research service supporting retrospective and prospective public health and clinical studies. CPRD. https://www.cprd.com/ College Drinking Prevention. (n.d.). Prevalence. National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. https://www.collegedrinkingprevention.gov/statistics/prevalence Community Epidemiology and Research Division. (n.d.). Just say no, DARE, and programs like it don’t work—So why are they still around?https://www.cerd.org/just-say-no-dare-and-programs-like-it-dont-work-so-why-are-they-still-around/ Concordia University. (n.d.). A brief history of women in sports. https://kinesiology.csp.edu/sports-coaches-and-trainers/a-brief-history-of-women-in-sports/ Curran, T., & Hill, A. P. (2022). Young people’s perceptions of their parents’ expectations and criticism are increasing over time: Implications for perfectionism. Psychological Bulletin, 148(1-2), 107-128. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000347 Durlak, J. A., & Wells, A. M. (1997). Primary prevention mental health programs for children and adolescents: A meta-analytic review [Archived document]. Indiana University. https://web.archive.org/web/20140824031650/http:/www.indiana.edu/~safeschl/ztze.pdf Eschner, K. (2017, August 26). The rise of the modern sportswoman. Smithsonian Magazine. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/rise-modern-sportswoman-180960174/ Evolve’s Behavioral Health Content Team. (2019, September 13). Long-term trends in suicidal ideation and suicide attempts among adolescents and young adults. Evolve Treatment Centers. https://evolvetreatment.com/blog/long-term-trends-suicidal-ideation-suicide-attempts-adolescents-young-adults/ Evolve’s Behavioral Health Content Team. (2020, July 27). Mental health and suicide statistics for teens in Santa Clara County. Evolve Treatment Centers. https://evolvetreatment.com/blog/mental-health-suicide-santa-clara/ Faverio, M., & Sidoti, O. (2024, December 12). Teens, social media and technology 2024: YouTube, TikTok, Instagram and Snapchat remain widely used among U.S. teens; some say they’re on these sites almost constantly. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/20/2024/12/PI_2024.12.12_Teens-Social-Media-Tech_REPORT.pdf Garfield, R., Orgera, K., & Damico, A. (2019, January 25). The uninsured and the ACA: A primer – Key facts about health insurance and the uninsured amidst changes to the Affordable Care Act. KFF. https://www.kff.org/report-section/the-uninsured-and-the-aca-a-primer-key-facts-about-health-insurance-and-the-uninsured-amidst-changes-to-the-affordable-care-act-how-many-people-are-uninsured/ Girls Leadership. (2023). Make space for girls: Research draft. https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/6398afa2ae5518732f04f791/63f60a5a2a28c570b35ce1b5_Make%20Space%20for%20Girls%20-%20Research%20Draft.pdf Gray, P. (2024, May 20). #63. More on moral panics and thoughts about when to ban smartphones. Peter Gray’s Play Makes Us Human. https://petergray.substack.com/p/63-more-on-moral-panics-and-thoughts?utm_source=publication-search Gulbas, L. E., & Zayas, L. H. (2015). Examining the interplay among family, culture, and Latina teen suicidal behavior. Qualitative Health Research, 25(5), 689-699. https://doi.org/10.1177/1049732314553598 Haas, A. P., Rodgers, P. L., & Herman, J. L. (2014, January). Suicide attempts among transgender and gender non-conforming adults: Findings of the National Transgender Discrimination Survey. American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and Williams Institute, UCLA School of Law. https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/Trans-GNC-Suicide-Attempts-Jan-2014.pdf Haidt, J., & Rausch, Z. Better mental health [Ongoing open-source literature review]. The Coddling. https://www.thecoddling.com/better-mental-health Haidt, J., Rausch, Z., & Twenge, J. (ongoing). Social media and mental health: A collaborative review. Unpublished manuscript, New York University. Accessed at tinyurl.com/SocialMediaMentalHealthReview Hunt, M., Auriemma, J., & Cashaw, A. C. A. (2003). Self-report bias and underreporting of depression on the BDI-II. Journal of Personality Assessment, 80(1), 26-30. https://doi.org/10.1207/S15327752JPA8001_10 Johns Hopkins Medicine. Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). Johns Hopkins Medicine. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder-pmdd KFF. (2024). A look at state efforts to ban cellphones in schools and implications for youth mental health. https://www.kff.org/mental-health/issue-brief/a-look-at-state-efforts-to-ban-cellphones-in-schools-and-implications-for-youth-mental-health/ Lilienfeld, S. O., & Arkowitz, H. (2014, January 1). Why “just say no” doesn’t work. Scientific American. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-just-say-no-doesnt-work/ Martin, J. L. (2002). Power, authority, and the constraint of belief systems. American Journal of Sociology, 107(4), 861-904. https://doi.org/10.1086/343192 Mims, C. (2024, March 29). Jonathan Haidt thinks smartphones destroyed a generation. Is he right? The Wall Street Journal. https://www.wsj.com/tech/personal-tech/jonathan-haidt-anxious-generation-book-smartphones-676bcadb Mueller, A. S., & Abrutyn, S. (2024). Addressing the social roots of suicide. In Life Under Pressure (pp. 191-218). Oxford University Press. https://doi.org/10.1093/oso/9780190847845.003.0008 Neufeld, G., & Maté, G. (2004). Hold on to your kids: Why parents need to matter more than peers. Knopf Canada.https://www.amazon.com/Hold-Your-Kids-Parents-Matter/dp/0375760288 NHS Digital. (2020). Mental health of children and young people in England, 2020 [Data set]. UK Data Service. https://doi.org/10.5255/UKDA-SN-9128-2 Programme for International Student Assessment. (2024, May). Managing screen time: How to protect and equip students against distraction. OECD. https://www.oecd.org/content/dam/oecd/en/publications/reports/2024/05/managing-screen-time_023f2390/7c225af4-en.pdf Rosin, H. (2015, December). The Silicon Valley suicides: Why are so many kids with bright prospects killing themselves in Palo Alto? The Atlantic. https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/12/the-silicon-valley-suicides/413140/ Royal College of Pediatrics and Child Health. (2020, March). Suicide. State of Child Health. https://stateofchildhealth.rcpch.ac.uk/evidence/mental-health/suicide/ Sarginson, J., Webb, R. T., Stocks, S. J., Esmail, A., Garg, S., & Ashcroft, D. M. (2017). Temporal trends in antidepressant prescribing to children in UK primary care, 2000–2015. Journal of Affective Disorders, 210, 312-318. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2016.12.047 Scottish Government. (2024, March 18). Supporting development of a self-harm strategy for Scotland, what does the qualitative evidence tell us? Gov.scot. https://www.gov.scot/publications/supporting-development-self-harm-strategy-scotland-qualitative-evidence-tell/ Smithsonian Institution. (1988, December). Arts to zoos: Child labor. Smithsonian Education. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/rise-modern-sportswoman-180960174/ Stevenson, B., & Wolfers, J. (2009). The paradox of declining female happiness [Working paper]. Social Science Research Network. https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1408690 Thomas, J. F., Temple, J. R., Perez, N., & Rupp, R. (2011). Ethnic and gender disparities in needed adolescent mental health care. Journal of Health Care for the Poor and Underserved, 22(1), 101-110. https://doi.org/10.1353/hpu.2011.0029 Townsend, E., Ness, J., Waters, K., Rehman, M., Kapur, N., Clements, C., Geulayov, G., Bale, E., Casey, D., & Hawton, K. (2022). Life...

The podcast dives into the impact of smartphones and social media on child development. It critiques traditional punitive methods, emphasizing that strict rules can alienate teens. Instead, it advocates for a compassionate approach that nurtures connection while addressing screen time concerns. Parents are encouraged to foster open communication, allowing kids some autonomy while still guiding them. Personal stories and empathetic strategies are shared to help navigate these challenging dynamics, ultimately aiming to support teen mental health in a tech-driven world.

This conversation dives into the increasing call for school cell phone bans, now being considered in 21 states. Experts discuss the mental health implications of smartphone reliance, revealing that concerns stem from unmet needs for choice and connection. Historical views on childhood play are challenged, as the idea of a 'golden age' is reconsidered. The dialogue highlights mixed research outcomes on the effectiveness of phone bans and emphasizes the importance of student agency, autonomy, and genuine engagement in the learning process.

Dive into the controversy surrounding social media and teen mental health. Explore how claims about its impact on anxiety and depression face scrutiny and how evidence may not support a direct causal link. Discover researchers' surprising comparisons of social media effects to eating potatoes and learn which factors truly drive youth mental health outcomes. The discussion emphasizes the need for comprehensive strategies that look beyond screen time to really support our kids.

Is there really a mental health crisis among today's youth or have we misinterpreted the data? The podcast takes a critical look at how mental health statistics, particularly around teen anxiety and depression, may be inflated due to changes in diagnostic practices. It explores the impact of smartphones and social media while questioning if they are the main culprits for rising mental health issues. The discussion also dives into the complexities of suicide rates across diverse communities, emphasizing the need for a nuanced understanding of youth mental health.

Do you ever feel like your parenting is completely off track from where you want it to be? You promise yourself you won't yell, then find yourself yelling at your kids before breakfast.   You intend to be patient and present, but end up getting distracted by your phone, or snapping at your child. This disconnect between your parenting intentions and reality can leave you feeling guilty, ashamed, and afraid that you're passing on intergenerational trauma despite your best efforts.   In this episode, we reveal the origins of our harsh inner critic and how cultural expectations set parents up for struggle. You'll discover practical reparenting techniques, step-by-step self-compassion exercises, and how recognizing your emotional triggers can transform your parenting journey.   This isn't about perfect parenting - it's about healing your own childhood wounds through a process called reparenting, so you can break intergenerational patterns and build the connection with your child you've always wanted.   Questions This Episode Will Answer How can I identify and manage my emotional triggers in parenting? Emotional triggers often originate from unhealed childhood experiences. Notice when you have outsized reactions to your child's behavior—these point to areas needing healing. The episode offers a self-compassion exercise to help you treat yourself with the same kindness that you treat others. Creating space between trigger and reaction allows you to respond intentionally rather than reactively.   How does my inner critic affect my ability to parent effectively? Your inner critic—which is often a voice of your parent/caregiver—triggers shame spirals that make it harder to parent effectively. It damages your relationship with yourself and teaches your children to develop their own harsh inner critics. Through reparenting, you can recognize this voice isn't truly yours, but one you absorbed from your environment. Learning to quiet this voice creates space for authentic connection with your child and breaks intergenerational trauma patterns.   What is reparenting and how can it help my relationship with my child? Reparenting is giving yourself what your parents couldn't provide during your childhood. It involves a five-step process: becoming aware of your patterns, accepting them without judgment, validating your childhood experiences, reframing your beliefs, and taking action to reinforce new patterns. When you heal your own emotional wounds through reparenting, you become more capable of meeting your child's needs without being triggered.   How do I break intergenerational trauma patterns in my parenting? Breaking intergenerational trauma starts with awareness of the patterns you inherited. Practice self-compassion exercises when triggered rather than self-criticism. Use the reparenting process to heal your own childhood wounds. Find supportive community to help you recognize when old patterns emerge. Each time you respond differently to your child than your parents did to you, you're disrupting the cycle of intergenerational trauma.   Can self-compassion exercises really help when I'm triggered with my kids? Yes, self-compassion exercises are powerful tools for managing parenting triggers. Dr. Susan Pollak's three-step self-compassion exercise can create the mental space needed to respond differently: acknowledge the difficulty ("This is hard"), remember your common humanity ("Other parents struggle with this too"), and offer yourself kindness ("What do I need right now?"). Regular practice builds your capacity to access self-compassion even in intense trigger moments.   What You'll Learn in This Episode How to identify your emotional triggers in parenting and their connection to intergenerational traumaA practical three-step self-compassion exercise for managing triggered moments with your childrenThe complete five-step reparenting process to heal your own childhood woundsHow schema therapy concepts explain the origins of your parenting triggersWhy intergenerational trauma persists and specific practices to break the cycleStep-by-step self-compassion exercises you can practice daily to build emotional resilienceHow traditional parenting tools can unintentionally continue the cycle of intergenerational traumaPractical reparenting techniques to meet both your needs and your child's needs simultaneously   FAQs How do I know if I'm dealing with intergenerational trauma in my parenting? Signs of intergenerational trauma in parenting include having intense emotional reactions that feel disproportionate to the situation, finding yourself saying things your parents said to you despite promising yourself you wouldn't, or noticing patterns of behavior that resemble how you were parented. The good news is awareness is the first step in breaking these patterns, and reparenting techniques can help you heal.   What's the difference between reparenting and regular parenting skills? Reparenting focuses on healing your own childhood wounds by meeting needs that weren't met when you were young. Traditional parenting tools focus primarily on changing your child's behavior. Reparenting addresses the root causes of your emotional triggers, allowing you to show up more authentically with your child.   How do I practice self-compassion when I think I've failed as a parent? Start with a simple self-compassion exercise: put your hand on your heart, acknowledge the pain ("This feels really hard right now"), remember you're not alone ("Many parents struggle with this"), and offer yourself kindness ("I'm doing my best in a difficult situation"). Regular practice of self-compassion exercises builds your capacity to extend compassion to yourself even in moments of perceived failure.   Can I really change deep emotional triggers if they're connected to childhood trauma? Yes, you can change your response to emotional triggers through consistent reparenting practice and self-compassion. The five-step reparenting process helps you recognize triggers, understand their origins in your own childhood, and develop new responses. This work takes time and often benefits from community support, but thousands of parents have successfully reduced their triggering and broken intergenerational trauma patterns.   How do I start reparenting myself if I don't even know what I needed as a child? Begin by noticing when you're triggered with your child—these moments often reveal exactly what you needed and didn't receive. Pay attention to your emotional reactions and physical sensations when parenting feels hard. Try this self-compassion exercise: when triggered, ask yourself, "What did I need in similar situations as a child?" Then imagine giving that very thing to your younger self. Community support can also help you identify unmet childhood needs that may not be immediately obvious to you.   If you want help to break down the changes you want to make into tiny manageable steps and be held (gently!) accountable for taking them (or adjusting course if needed…), we’d love to have you join the group of likeminded parents in the membership.   Get the information you need and the support to actually implement it, all in what members call “the least judgmental corner of the internet.”   Sign up for the Parenting Membership with Black Friday pricing (available until November 28, 2025) and begin in January 2026. Click the banner to sign up!     Other episodes mentioned: 122: Self-Compassion for Parents245: Does praise help or hurt your child? What research actually shows233: Time Outs: Helpful or harmful? Here’s what the research says   Jump to highlights: 00:54 Introduction of today’s episode 04:25 These difficult moments don't define you as a parent or prove you're doing something wrong. Parents everywhere, regardless of background, culture, or family structure, experience this same disconnect between who they want to be and how they actually respond when things get challenging 05:18 Self-compassion can actually create some breathing room that we parent desperately need rather that continuing the pattern with shame and self-criticism. Self-compassion allows us to hold our struggles with kindness and self-compassion isn't just something to make us feel better about ourselves. We can actually think of it as a circuit breaker for our brain that allows us to respond differently next time 13:53 When your self-critical voice takes over and tells you to shape your child's behavior, you risk losing your connection with them. That's why things seem like they're off track, because if they were on track, you would feel close to each other 15:40 Three-step process that Dr. Pollak uses to access some self-compassion in difficult moments 17:48 The deepest human need that we all share is to be truly seen and accepted for who we are, not for our achievements or for our good behavior, but for our whole authentic selves 22:39 One of the most powerful discoveries Jen have made in her parenting journey is that raising children gives us a huge opportunity to heal ourselves 23:46 Five main categories of schemas that affect how we see ourselves and others 26:40 Five-step process that we can use, that is drawn from schema therapy. 32:53 What Jenny experienced in the ACTion group and how it changes her parenting strategies 35:40 What advice Elyse would offer for a parent who has joined the membership and who hasn’t sure how to engage with all the resources available 38:07 Stephanie’s experiences in the ACTion group 41:20 An open invitation for Parenting Membership 42:58 Wrapping up the discussion

Are you tired of facing family challenges alone? In this powerful episode, we witness the transformative journey of two parents who discovered that joining a parenting support group can change everything at home.   Parenting wasn't meant to be a solo journey. When sleep deprivation, communication struggles with partners, and children's big emotions become overwhelming family challenges, the right parenting support group makes all the difference. This episode shows how connecting with a supportive parenting community helped transform 45-minute tantrums into 10-minute conversations, restore sleep after years of exhaustion, and address family communication challenges in ways that parenting books alone never could.   Now, more than ever, we need each other. In this re-released episode from two years ago, you'll hear authentic stories that will inspire you to find your own parenting support group and experience the profound changes that happen when parents help each other overcome family challenges.   Questions This Episode Will Answer How can I find a parenting support group when I don't have family nearby? Distance from extended family doesn't mean you must face family challenges alone. This episode demonstrates how intentional parenting support groups can provide even more targeted help than your actual family. You'll learn how to connect with parents who share your values and family challenges, not just parents who happen to live close to you. These parenting support groups create meaningful connections that provide practical help, emotional support, and accountability.   How do I find a parenting support group with members who won't judge me? Finding non-judgmental parenting support begins with seeking communities built on mutual understanding rather than competition. This episode shows how specialized parenting support groups create safe spaces where you can share family challenges honestly - even showing up in tears or looking completely exhausted - without fear of judgment.   Can a parenting support group really help with my child's emotional outbursts? Yes! When parents learn tools like radical listening through supportive parenting groups, children's emotional regulation challenges improve dramatically. This episode demonstrates how one parent reduced tantrum duration from 45 minutes to just 10 minutes by applying techniques learned in her parenting support group.   How do I balance everyone's needs when family challenges leave me exhausted? Meeting everyone's needs begins with recognizing your own. This episode reveals how a parenting support group provides permission to prioritize self-care (especially sleep) as the foundation for better addressing your family challenges, including your children's and partner's needs.   Can a parenting support group help with partner communication challenges? Absolutely. You'll hear how a parenting support group helped identify and address difficult family communication patterns where one partner was agreeing to things they didn't want just to end discussions. Now the partners have an effective framework for honestly communicating about family challenges and needs.   What's more valuable for addressing family challenges - parenting courses or a parenting support group? While quality parenting information matters, this episode reveals how the combination of both creates the most powerful approach to family challenges. You'll hear how structured parenting support groups help you actually implement tools you learn, rather than just collecting more information about family challenges.   What You'll Learn in This Episode Practical ways to find and build your own parenting support groupHow parenting support groups transform sleep challenges through accountability and permission for self-careThe power of techniques learned in parenting support groups to dramatically reduce children's emotional outburstsMethods for improving partner communication about parenting decisions and family challengesWhy vulnerability in parenting support groups creates stronger familiesHow to move beyond parenting advice to create lasting transformation of family challengesWhat happens when parenting support group members invest in each other's success rather than competingThe surprising ways parenting support groups free up energy for better addressing family challengesWhy small, intentional parenting support groups create deeper change than large forumsHow to recognize when you need support for family challenges and actually receive it effectively   Frequently Asked Questions What is a parenting support group and why do I need one for family challenges? A parenting support group is a community of other parents who provide emotional support, practical advice, and accountability for addressing family challenges. Unlike most online parenting forums, an intentional parenting support group helps you implement tools consistently, validates your struggles with family challenges, and creates space for growth. Research shows parents with strong parenting support networks experience less stress and make more consistent decisions when facing family challenges.   How can parenting support groups help with sleep deprivation challenges? Parenting support groups provide accountability, permission for self-care, and practical tools for sleep challenges. When you share your sleep-related family challenges with supportive parents, you're more likely to prioritize your rest needs, implement consistent routines, and identify strategies that work for your family's specific situation.   How do I find the right parenting support group for my specific family challenges? Finding the right parenting support group involves looking for communities aligned with your values, moderated by experienced facilitators, and structured for meaningful connection. Seek parenting support groups where members share family challenges openly without judgment, offer experience-based support rather than just advice, and create consistent opportunities for deeper connection.   Can parenting support groups really improve relationship challenges with my partner? Yes, quality parenting support groups can transform partner relationships by identifying communication patterns, providing tools for expressing needs clearly, and creating frameworks for resolving parenting disagreements and family challenges.   What makes small parenting support groups more effective than large online forums for family challenges? Small parenting support groups create psychological safety through consistent membership, deeper relationships, and personalized support for family challenges. Unlike large forums where advice comes from strangers, small parenting support groups allow members to understand each family's unique context, provide relevant suggestions for specific family challenges, and offer accountability over time, leading to more sustained positive changes.   Can parenting support groups help with the unique family challenges of raising a child with special needs? Specialized parenting support groups are particularly valuable for parents facing the family challenges of raising children with special needs or unique situations. These parenting support groups connect you with others confronting similar family challenges, provide specialized knowledge beyond general parenting advice, and offer understanding that may not be available in your geographic community.   If you want help to break down the changes you want to make into tiny manageable steps and be held (gently!) accountable for taking them (or adjusting course if needed…), we’d love to have you join the group of likeminded parents in the membership.   Get the information you need and the support to actually implement it, all in what members call “the least judgmental corner of the internet.”   Sign up for the Parenting Membership with Black Friday pricing (available until November 28, 2025) and begin in January 2026. Click the banner to sign up!     Jump to highlights: 00:54 Introduction of today’s episode 03:23 Jenny and Emma came up with the idea to record an episode for the podcast to talk about how their parenting has changed over the last year 04:30 Emma wasn’t having major problems, but wanted to be prepared for the challenges that may happen down the road 05:23 Jenny was struggling because she hadn’t had a full night’s sleep in 4 ½ years…and now prioritizes herself through the support of Emma and the members of the ACTion group 08:50 Because Emma is a high achiever, she imagined parenthood to be a breeze 10:45 Jenny believed that if you are prepared and serene, and you bring this calm energy to your pregnancy, you will have an easy child 13:36 The lack of understanding of our values is what causes us to be conflicted about becoming parents 15:41 Our child’s big feelings are their way of letting us know that they are not okay. 20:10 It's great to have a community who we can trust, and who will support and respect our values 22:40 The ACTion group conversation once a week gives parents a foundation to parent more intentionally 25:00 Emma used the problem-solving method to find a solution for her child's resistance during nail cutting by trying to hypothesize her child’s feelings. 29:37 Needs can be met when you remove the ‘shoulds.’ 31:12 Emma’s parenting has been a lot less tense over the past year and a half, which was a wonderful surprise 32:45 Jenny saw big changes when she used a deep listening technique with her son during an episode of intense anger and frustration 35:03 Talking about how Parenting Membership change Jenny’s life 46:40 It's life-changing to see a profound change in our children and ourselves when both of our needs are fulfilled

The podcast dives into the complexities of praise and its impact on children's development. It questions whether praise helps or harms, suggesting it can create conditional relationships. The discussion emphasizes the importance of unconditional love over evaluative praise. You'll discover how children's perceptions of love influence their self-worth and behavior. Moreover, the conversation highlights the value of authentic appreciation in nurturing intrinsic motivation and fostering genuine connections that support children's autonomy.

  Is your child's refusal to listen driving you CRAZY? You're not alone! In this transformative episode, mom-of-three Chrystal reveals how she went from constant power struggles to peaceful cooperation without sacrificing authority. Discover the exact approach that works when "because I said so" fails. Stop the exhausting battles TODAY and create the respectful relationship you've always wanted with your child.   Questions This Episode Will Answer: Why won't my child listen to me? Children resist when their needs aren't being met. Understanding what's beneath the "not listening" transforms power struggles into opportunities for connection and cooperation.   How do I get my child to listen without threatening or bribing? Focus on identifying both your needs and your child's needs, then problem-solve together to find solutions that work for everyone. This creates willing cooperation rather than reluctant compliance.   Will my child ever listen the first time I ask? Yes! When children know that you'll try to meet their needs as well as your own, they become MUCH more willing to collaborate with you. The path to first-time listening isn't through control but through connection.   Am I creating an entitled child by not demanding immediate compliance? Actually, the opposite is true. Children raised with respectful problem-solving develop stronger empathy, better boundary recognition, and more social skills than those raised with strict obedience requirements.   How do I handle emergencies when I need immediate compliance? Create a foundation of trust by respecting autonomy in non-emergency situations. When true emergencies arise, children who trust you will respond to your urgency because they know you don't overuse your authority.   What You'll Learn In This Episode: The powerful shift from control-based parenting to needs-based problem-solving Why resistance is a signal that needs attention, not defiance that needs punishment How to identify your real non-negotiables versus situations where flexibility serves everyone Practical examples of problem-solving conversations that create willing cooperation The critical difference between limits (changing someone's behavior) and boundaries (what you're willing to do) How to teach children about healthy boundaries by respecting theirs Why "stop means stop" and "no means no" are essential teachings (and how to get your child to respect your 'stop' and 'no') How to recognize when you're getting triggered by your child's "not listening" The surprising truth about how respectful parenting creates more socially capable children Why one intentional parent can make all the difference, even without perfect partner alignment   If you're thinking "but my child NEEDS to learn to listen," this episode directly addresses how this approach creates MORE compliance in situations that truly matter.   Ready to transform your daily battles into peaceful cooperation? Take the next step in our Setting Loving and Effective Limits workshop. Click the image below to sign up.     Jump to highlights 00:45 Introduction of today’s episode 02:00 An open invitation to join the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop 06:12 Chrystal’s experience in the Setting Loving (&Effective!) Limits workshop 07:46 Saying NO to our child isn’t necessarily the right answer 08:48 Challenges that Chrystal had as someone who was brought up in a religious family 11:44 How resilience will play a big role in our children 13:10 Chrystal’s transition from being controlled to having freedom and autonomy 13:50 As a result of having a strong-willed child, Chrystal experiences a lot pushback and challenges 17:01 When to set limits and boundaries to our children 19:18 Ways to navigate our younger child when we need to take a pause in a situation 21:42 The difference between setting limits and boundaries 23:00 The importance of respectful parenting 24:20 Using body cues instead of saying NO 26:31 Introduction to Problem Solving Conversation: Nonjudgmental Observation 32:52 Our children's resistance creates a "US and THEM" scenario 39:54 The lessons that Chrystal learned from the book called Siblings Without Rivalry. 43:48 White presenting child plays a big role in changing the systems 46:02 Wrapping up the discussion