Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive
RE-RELEASE: How to get your child to listen to you
May 5, 2025
50:10
Is your child's refusal to listen driving you CRAZY? You're not alone! In this transformative episode, mom-of-three Chrystal reveals how she went from constant power struggles to peaceful cooperation without sacrificing authority. Discover the exact approach that works when "because I said so" fails. Stop the exhausting battles TODAY and create the respectful relationship you've always wanted with your child.
If you're thinking "but my child NEEDS to learn to listen," this episode directly addresses how this approach creates MORE compliance in situations that truly matter. Click the image below to sign up. Jump to highlights 00:45 Introduction of today’s episode 02:00 An open invitation to join the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop 06:12 Chrystal’s experience in the Setting Loving (&Effective!) Limits workshop 07:46 Saying NO to our child isn’t necessarily the right answer 08:48 Challenges that Chrystal had as someone who was brought up in a religious family 11:44 How resilience will play a big role in our children 13:10 Chrystal’s transition from being controlled to having freedom and autonomy 13:50 As a result of having a strong-willed child, Chrystal experiences a lot pushback and challenges 17:01 When to set limits and boundaries to our children 19:18 Ways to navigate our younger child when we need to take a pause in a situation 21:42 The difference between setting limits and boundaries 23:00 The importance of respectful parenting 24:20 Using body cues instead of saying NO 26:31 Introduction to Problem Solving Conversation: Nonjudgmental Observation 32:52 Our children's resistance creates a "US and THEM" scenario 39:54 The lessons that Chrystal learned from the book called Siblings Without Rivalry. 43:48 White presenting child plays a big role in changing the systems 46:02 Wrapping up the discussion
Questions This Episode Will Answer:
Why won't my child listen to me? Children resist when their needs aren't being met. Understanding what's beneath the "not listening" transforms power struggles into opportunities for connection and cooperation. How do I get my child to listen without threatening or bribing? Focus on identifying both your needs and your child's needs, then problem-solve together to find solutions that work for everyone. This creates willing cooperation rather than reluctant compliance. Will my child ever listen the first time I ask? Yes! When children know that you'll try to meet their needs as well as your own, they become MUCH more willing to collaborate with you. The path to first-time listening isn't through control but through connection. Am I creating an entitled child by not demanding immediate compliance? Actually, the opposite is true. Children raised with respectful problem-solving develop stronger empathy, better boundary recognition, and more social skills than those raised with strict obedience requirements. How do I handle emergencies when I need immediate compliance? Create a foundation of trust by respecting autonomy in non-emergency situations. When true emergencies arise, children who trust you will respond to your urgency because they know you don't overuse your authority.What You'll Learn In This Episode:
- The powerful shift from control-based parenting to needs-based problem-solving
- Why resistance is a signal that needs attention, not defiance that needs punishment
- How to identify your real non-negotiables versus situations where flexibility serves everyone
- Practical examples of problem-solving conversations that create willing cooperation
- The critical difference between limits (changing someone's behavior) and boundaries (what you're willing to do)
- How to teach children about healthy boundaries by respecting theirs
- Why "stop means stop" and "no means no" are essential teachings (and how to get your child to respect your 'stop' and 'no')
- How to recognize when you're getting triggered by your child's "not listening"
- The surprising truth about how respectful parenting creates more socially capable children
- Why one intentional parent can make all the difference, even without perfect partner alignment
If you're thinking "but my child NEEDS to learn to listen," this episode directly addresses how this approach creates MORE compliance in situations that truly matter. Click the image below to sign up. Jump to highlights 00:45 Introduction of today’s episode 02:00 An open invitation to join the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop 06:12 Chrystal’s experience in the Setting Loving (&Effective!) Limits workshop 07:46 Saying NO to our child isn’t necessarily the right answer 08:48 Challenges that Chrystal had as someone who was brought up in a religious family 11:44 How resilience will play a big role in our children 13:10 Chrystal’s transition from being controlled to having freedom and autonomy 13:50 As a result of having a strong-willed child, Chrystal experiences a lot pushback and challenges 17:01 When to set limits and boundaries to our children 19:18 Ways to navigate our younger child when we need to take a pause in a situation 21:42 The difference between setting limits and boundaries 23:00 The importance of respectful parenting 24:20 Using body cues instead of saying NO 26:31 Introduction to Problem Solving Conversation: Nonjudgmental Observation 32:52 Our children's resistance creates a "US and THEM" scenario 39:54 The lessons that Chrystal learned from the book called Siblings Without Rivalry. 43:48 White presenting child plays a big role in changing the systems 46:02 Wrapping up the discussion
