Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

When your child struggles with behavior or attention, doctors might suggest ADHD medication. Before you move forward, you should know what a psychiatric diagnosis actually is - and what it isn't.   This episode examines how psychiatric diagnoses actually work - and what they don't tell you. Dr. Sami Timimi, a child and adolescent psychiatrist in the UK, explains how the mental health system has become an industrial complex that profits from turning distress into diagnoses.   You'll learn why a diagnosis doesn't mean doctors have found something wrong with your child's brain, and why the framework we use to understand mental health struggles might be missing the bigger picture. If you've ever felt pressured to medicate your child or wondered whether there's more to the story than a "chemical imbalance", this conversation will give you the information you didn't know you were missing.   Questions this episode will answer What do you do when your child has a behavioral problem? Instead of immediately seeking a diagnosis, consider the social context - school environments, family stress, economic pressures, and whether your child's environment actually fits their needs. Addressing these factors can be more effective than focusing solely on fixing the individual child.   What is a psychiatric diagnosis evaluation? A psychiatric diagnosis evaluation is a process where behaviors are observed and categorized according to checklists, but it doesn't involve measuring anything in the brain or body. The diagnosis describes behaviors but doesn't explain what causes them.   Can ADHD be misdiagnosed? Since ADHD diagnosis relies on behavior checklists rather than objective tests, two evaluators can reach different conclusions about the same child. The behaviors labeled as ADHD - hyperactivity, inattention, impulsivity - are descriptions, not explanations of what's causing those behaviors.   What is the most common childhood behavioral disorder? ADHD is commonly diagnosed in children, but saying a child's hyperactivity is caused by a hyperactivity disorder is circular reasoning - we're just describing the behavior using medical language.   How does parenting affect mental health? Single parents and parents experiencing poverty face significant stressors that impact mental health. When parents seek help for depression or anxiety, they're often directed toward medication rather than receiving support that addresses the actual challenges they face - lack of resources, isolation, and overwhelming demands.   What are the biggest determinants of mental health? Social and economic factors - housing security, job stability, poverty, social support, and community resources - are major determinants of mental health. These environmental conditions create distress that often gets labeled as individual mental illness.   How can social factors affect your mental health? Social factors like economic insecurity, isolation, and the structure of our society create feelings of alienation and the sense that "I'm not good enough." When we say these problems are inside individuals rather than addressing social conditions, we miss opportunities to reduce distress at its source.   What does industrial complex mean in mental health? The mental health industrial complex refers to the entire ecosystem that profits from mental health diagnoses - from expensive assessments and therapies to pharmaceuticals, apps, books, and self-help products. It turns distress into a commodity that can be mined for profit.   What you'll learn in this episode What happens during psychiatric diagnosis evaluations (and why no brain scan is involved)Why ADHD medication studies show different results at 14 months versus 30 months (and you’ve probably only heard of the 14 month outcomes)How the mental health industrial complex profits from turning distress into diagnosesWhat parents should know about the difference betweendescribingbehaviors andexplainingthem (and why it matters)Why circular reasoning (like “your child's hyperactivity is caused by a hyperactivity disorder") is everywhere in mental health but rarely discussedHow poverty and lack of social support create mental health struggles that get diagnosed as disordersWhat happens when we assume problems are "inside" people rather than in their circumstancesWhy supporting families through social and economic interventions might reduce distress more effectively than individual treatmentHow the framework we use to understand distress shapes what solutions seem possibleWhat to consider before starting medication for yourself or your child   Jump to highlights: 01:37 A brief introduction to today’s episode 04:06 Introducing today’s guest 05:41 What does the mental health industrial complex mean? 12:28 How does Dr. Sami Timimi respond when others view his perspective as a fringe position on ADHD and mental health? 14:45 Dr. Sami Timimi can't blame the people for accepting diagnoses as brain-based conditions because they assume doctors have found something wrong in their brains 16:59 A quick review of what we learned today

Welcome to 2026! In this episode, we're looking back at what we covered in 2025 and sharing what's coming in the year ahead. A Year of Growth 2025 was a year of evolution for the podcast. We covered topics you've been asking about - parenting triggers, rage, overwhelm, boundaries, and breaking family trauma cycles. We also did a deep dive across four episodes into Dr. Jonathan Haidt’s book The Anxious Generation (which likely overstates the harm of social media on kids).  There’s also a summary episode that covers all the main ideas from the four deep dives in just 17 minutes. Based on feedback from the Podcast Advisory Council, we shifted to shorter public episodes while full-length episodes moved to the Parenting Membership's private feed. Our goal is to get you to the insights that matter faster.   2026: The Year of Mental Health This year, we're going deep on mental health. What even is it? How can we support it in ourselves and our children? And how does it intersect with neurodivergence? I've already recorded the first episodes and I have to tell you - my mind has been blown by what I'm learning.   Big Changes Coming The Parenting Membership is now open year-round with a new onboarding process. The website is getting a complete redesign with filters so you can search by your specific challenge and child's age. Plus 10 new starter videos explaining core concepts.   Episodes Mentioned 232: 10 game-changing parenting hacks – straight from master dog trainers233: Time-outs: Helpful or harmful? Here's what the research says234: The problem wit time outs: Why they fail , and what to do instead235: Chidren's Threats: What they mean and how to respond238: Feeling exhausted and overwhelmed? Tools to help you cope241: Validating children's feelings: Why it's important, and how to do it with Dr. Caroline FleckThe Anxious Generation255: Why Do I Keep Snapping? Parenting Rage When Your Childhood 'Wasn't That BadES 04: Reparenting Yourself: Break Your Family's Trauma CycleES 05: How to Enforce Boundaries When Someone Doesn't Respect Them   Resources for You We've created a bunch of new tools to support your parenting journey: Parent Anger Quiz- discover how your childhood (even if it seemed "normal") created the triggers you experience todayCalm Parent Toolkit- ($7) get practical, printable resource that helps you understand your triggers, nervous system, and parenting patterns so you can respond to your child with more calm and confidenceWhy You're So Angry with Your Child's (Age 1-10) Age-Appropriate Behavior - And What to Do About It masterclass- ($27) learn the three real causes of triggered reactions and get tools to stay calm when your child's behavior usually sets you offTaming Your Triggers workshop-10-week, all online workshop for parents to help you feel triggered less often by your child's behaviorBeyond the Behavior- free coaching calls (second Wednesday monthly, 9-10.30 am)Parenting Membership- complete parenting support with evidence-based strategies, coaching, and communityFree parenting resources collection(coming soon)   Jump to highlights: 01:44 Introduction of today’s episode 02:46 A quick recap on one of January’s episodes, which is the 10 game-changing parenting hacks straight from master dog trainers 03:55 In February, research on timeouts helps parents to transition away from physical punishment, and how Taming Your Triggers participants benefit most from community support and coaching 05:55 Last summer, we talked about Dr. Jonathan Haidt’s book The Anxious Generation 09:05 Jen decided to shorten the episodes into 15-20-minute episodes instead of 60-minute exploration 12:56 Parenting Membership enrollment is available for year-round enrollment 15:10 The parent anger quiz helps you to understand the source of the rage that you experience as a parent, even if your childhood was “normal” and not traumatic 17:10 Another free resource is the Beyond the Behavior coaching calls 20:01 In a Your Parenting Mojo family, you're understanding how your childhood shows up in your parenting, noticing your triggers, responding from calm steadiness, and breaking generational cycles of shame and disconnection 21:44 Jen is thanking everyone in the Your Parenting Mojo community for being here and doing the hard work of parenting differently

Have you ever opened a gift from your parent and felt your stomach drop? You've tried everything - wishlists, clear conversations, explicit boundaries about gift giving. But the packages keep arriving, filled with things that feel totally opposite from your values.    And then you're stuck in this awful place where you're simultaneously angry at them for not respecting your boundaries AND judging yourself for not just being grateful.   In this episode, I'm sharing part of a powerful coaching conversation with Sam, who's spent years trying to set gift giving boundaries with her mom. What we discovered is that when unwanted gifts trigger us this intensely, they're touching something way deeper than clutter or consumption.    When I talked with Nedra Glover Tawwab recently, she advocated for very strong boundaries: if you get unwanted gifts, you send them back.  How the other person feels about that is not your responsibility.  You might decide that a hard boundary is the best option for you.  But at the end of the day, it doesn’t address the hurt you’re feeling that is leading you to consider a boundary.   Through an embodiment exercise, Sam found empathy for her mom's needs while still honoring her own need to be truly seen. But the real breakthrough came when we talked about what to do when your parent simply can't give you what you long for - and why that requires grief work, and not always stronger boundaries.   Questions this episode will answer Is it normal to have resentment for your parents over gifts? Yes. When unwanted gifts keep coming despite clear boundaries, that resentment often connects to a deeper need - wanting your parent to truly see and understand you.   What is the psychology behind excessive gift-giving? Gift givers are often trying to meet needs like staying relevant, feeling competent as a parent, creating connection, and mattering in their grandchildren's lives, especially when physical distance or other limitations exist.   How do you respond to unwanted gifts without losing your mind? You can't just decide the gifts don't bother you anymore. It may help to mourn the relationship you wished you had with your parent, and get your need to be seen met through other relationships.   What to do with unwanted gifts when boundaries keep failing? You can continue donating them through Buy Nothing groups, but the real shift happens when you stop attaching meaning to the gifts - when a dancing cactus becomes just a dancing cactus, not evidence that your parent doesn't see you.   How do you let go of anger and resentment towards a parent? Through embodied mourning rituals - not just making a decision in your head. This might involve gathering with people who truly see you and symbolically releasing the longed-for relationship you're acknowledging you won't have.   How do you set boundaries with parents when they won't respect them? Sometimes moving forward means you stop holding the door open, exhausting yourself while you wait for them to walk through it. You find other ways to meet your needs instead.   What you'll learn in this episode Why gift-giving boundaries fail even when you've been crystal clear about your values and preferencesHow embodying her mom helped Sam find empathy for her mom without giving up her own needsWhat needs your parent might be trying to meet through excessive gift giving (and why understanding this matters)The difference between making a mental decision that something doesn't matter and actually mourning the loss of the relationship you wished you hadHow to meet your need to be seen and understood through relationships other than your parentThe "door metaphor" - what it means to stop holding it open and why that's different from closing it foreverWhy unwanted holiday gifts can become neutral once you've done the grief workHow to stay in relationship with your parent while letting go of the exhausting longing for them to change   Jump to highlights: 01:07 Introduction of today’s episode. 03:05 Sam and her husband send gift lists to their excited long-distance parents to manage space in their small house, but when an inappropriate gift arrives despite their clear requests, Sam feels worried that her boundaries weren't respected. 11:07 Sam struggles between wanting her mother to show up differently and accepting that she can't force that change, feeling like she's leaving a door open while getting frustrated that her mother doesn't know how to walk through it. 14:54 Wrapping up today’s topic 17:20 An open invitation to Parenting Membership Black Friday sale

Nedra Glover Tawwab, a licensed therapist and bestselling author known for her expertise in boundaries and relationships, shares valuable insights on enforcing personal limits. She discusses the challenging dynamics of managing boundaries with family and friends who may disregard them. Nedra introduces practical strategies, like the 'fire extinguisher method' to halt unwanted conversations quickly. She also emphasizes the importance of embodying boundaries through actions, and her new children's book teaches kids about self-expression and the importance of setting boundaries.

Do you ever wake up with tension in your body because you know your child will want to play the moment you walk out of your bedroom?   Do you spend time with your child but think about all the chores you should be doing instead?   Parent Aija came to a (FREE!) Beyond The Behavior coaching call with exactly this challenge. She plays with her four-and-a-half-year-old son a lot. But she doesn't enjoy it. And she has big feelings of guilt and shame about that.   What starts as a question about setting boundaries and making time for herself becomes something much deeper. We discover that Aija's struggle with play isn't really about play at all.   When we explore what makes Special Time so hard, we uncover sadness and grief that Aija didn't even realize was there. The messages she received as a child about productivity and being a "good" future wife and mother are still running in the background, making it really hard for her to be present with her son. But we also find three concrete strategies that help Aija see a way forward.   By the end of our conversation, her entire demeanor has shifted. She's smiling. She has a plan. We’ll uncover the key reasons why playing with our kids is hard, and how to get the most out of this important time.   Questions This Episode Will Answer What is parenting guilt? Parenting guilt shows up when you think you "should" enjoy something but you don't. As Aija describes it: "I don't enjoy just spending time playing. My kids, that's terrible. But it seems that no matter how much Special Time we have, it's not enough for him." It's the gap between the parent you think you're supposed to be and the reality of your experience.   Why do I have parenting guilt about not enjoying play? Parenting guilt often comes from comparing yourself to others and from messages you received growing up. When Aija watches her husband play easily with their son, she thinks "I want to be like that" - but that comparison triggers shame, which makes it even harder to make decisions aligned with your values.   What is Special Time with your child? Special Time is consistent daily dedicated one-on-one time with your child where they get to choose the activity. The purpose is to meet their need for autonomy, along with their needs for connection, joy, and fun.   How is Special Time linked to my child’s behavior?  Even just spending 10 minutes consistently with your child can have enormous benefits on their connection with you (and thus their behavior in situations outside of Special Time).  Many of the behaviors that parents find irritating (resisting leaving the house in the morning, annoying behaviors, hitting siblings, bedtime stalling) are kids’ best attempt to connect with us - when they do these things, we pay attention to them.  When we do Special Time, they’ll likely stop using these behaviors to get your attention/connection.   What are the benefits of Special Time? Special Time meets your child's needs for connection, joy, play, and autonomy. When children get their connection needs met consistently, they're less likely to use challenging behaviors to get your attention. As we discover in Aija's situation, her son's morning behaviors (taking her bookmark, throwing blankets over her head) are his way of trying to get connection time.   How to do Special Time with kids? Special Time should ideally be 10 minutes of consistent daily play where the child gets to choose the activity.  The consistency is really important.  It’s much better to do 10 minutes daily than an hour on an unpredictable basis.  This communicates to your child: “You’re special.  I love you and I want to spend time with you.”   How to make Special Time easier? Three strategies can help: First, offer activities you actually enjoy doing together as the default options - for Aija, that meant suggesting Legos or painting first. Second, use Special Time as your mindfulness practice by noticing when your mind wanders to thoughts about chores or productivity, and bringing yourself back to the present moment. Third, have problem-solving conversations about recurring challenges to find strategies that meet everyone's needs.   Why does my child whine, cry, and tantrum at the end of Special Time? They do these things because they enjoy it so much - and because they don’t know when they’ll get to have this amazing experience with you again.  When you tell them: “Well have Special Time again tomorrow” and then actually do it, they learn to trust you and they stop protesting when it’s over.   What causes productivity guilt? Productivity guilt comes from cultural conditioning. As Aija discovered when exploring her childhood: "I think as I got older, it was more about school. You have to get good grades and you have to learn certain skills to function as a future mom." When you're taught that your worth comes from being productive, play can seem like a waste of time.   Why do I feel guilty when I'm unproductive? The belief that you should always be productive usually comes from how you were raised. Aija realized: "Play is not productive. Yeah, it seems that's how I grew up." When rest or play triggers thoughts about chores you "should" be doing instead, that's this conditioning at work.   How do you meet your needs and your child's needs at the same time? Start by identifying what needs each person has. Then have a problem-solving conversation where everyone describes their ideal experience. Look for strategies that address multiple needs at once - like offering five minutes of connection first thing in the morning to meet your child's need for connection, which then makes it easier for them to give you the time and space you want to drink your coffee and read.   How do needs influence behavior? When children's needs aren't met, they find strategies to get those needs met - sometimes through behaviors we find challenging. A child who steals your bookmark or throws blankets over your head is meeting their need for connection by making sure you notice them and don't forget about spending time together.   How can I set boundaries with family members without damaging relationships? Boundaries work best as a second-line tool, after you've tried to find strategies that meet everyone's needs. When you meet your child's needs most of the time, they're much more willing to accept boundaries in the moments when you can't meet both of your needs. You may also find you want to set fewer boundaries because when everyone's needs are being met more often, there are fewer moments of conflict.   How to get rid of parental guilt? Instead of trying to eliminate guilt, get curious about where it comes from. What messages did you receive growing up about play, productivity, and what makes you valuable? Then work on meeting both your needs and your child's needs through problem-solving conversations and choosing activities you genuinely enjoy doing together. Using playtime as mindfulness practice can also help - noticing thoughts about what you "should" be doing and bringing yourself back to the present moment.   Why do I experience play resistance with my child? Play resistance often comes from messages you received growing up about the value of productivity versus play. As Aija discovered, when you were taught to focus on school, achievement, and preparing to be a future spouse and parent, "play is not productive" becomes a deeply ingrained belief that's hard to shake, even when you're with your own child.   What You'll Learn in This Episode You'll hear a real coaching conversation with parent Aija, who doesn't enjoy playing with her son and has big feelings of guilt and shame about that. You'll discover: Why disliking play often isn't about the play itself, but about the messages you received growing up about productivity and your worthHow comparing yourself to your partner (who seems to play effortlessly) can trigger shame that makes it even harder to be present with your childThe connection between childhood grief and difficulty setting boundaries with your own childrenThree specific strategies to make Special Time more enjoyable: focusing on activities you actually like doing together, using playtime as mindfulness practice, and having problem-solving conversations about recurring challengesWhy your child's challenging morning behaviors (like stealing your bookmark or throwing blankets over your head - as well as behaviors like resisting leaving the house, doing things you find annoying, hitting siblings, and resisting bedtime) are actually bids for connectionHow to structure an "ideal morning" conversation with your family that identifies everyone's needs and finds strategies to meet themWhy boundaries should be your second-line tool, not your default approachHow meeting your child's needs more consistently actually makes them more receptive to boundaries when you do need to set them   Beyond The Behavior Coaching Calls Want coaching like this for yourself? These Beyond The Behavior calls happen on the second Wednesday of each month from 9 AM Pacific, and they're completely free. You can get coached on whatever challenge you're facing right now, or just listen in while I coach other parents.   We usually work with two or three parents on each call. And if you can't make it live, don't worry - recordings are available inside the Parenting Membership where they're searchable by topic.   There's no commitment. We'll send you a reminder before each call, and you can join if it works for you or skip it if you're busy with other things.   Whether you're struggling with Special Time like Aija, dealing with challenging behaviors, or trying to figure out how to stop yelling at your kids, these calls give you a chance to work through your specific situation with support.   Click the banner to learn more and sign up     Jump to highlights: 02:36 Jen shares some updates that are about to happen in the podcast, as well as the Your Parenting Mojo business that supports it 06:16 An open invitation to Parent Coaching for effective, lasting change 08:11 The biggest change to a long-time podcast listener after today’s episode is that Jen is likely to produce much shorter episodes than usual 10:11 A BIG update in the Parenting Membership, which is about to start in January 2026 18:00 Aija shares a story from when she was young that shows us what play looked like for her 25:39 Three strategies when you don’t enjoy playing with your child 37:17 Wrapping up 41:30 An open invitation to the FREE Beyond the Behavior coaching calls

Feeling guilty about your anger as a parent? Discover how anger can serve as a signal for necessary change in family dynamics. Learn about two types of parental anger: Values-Aligned Anger, which aims for positive change, and Reactive Anger, rooted in overwhelm. Jen introduces the HEAR method to help manage these feelings constructively. Explore how understanding the root of your anger can transform guilt into actionable steps for improvement, both at home and beyond.

Do you find yourself going from zero to a hundred in seconds when your child spills something, refuses to cooperate, or has a meltdown? If you're constantly asking yourself, "Why do I keep snapping at my child?" or "Why am I so angry as a parent?" - you're definitely not alone. Many parents struggle with parenting triggers that seem to come out of nowhere, leaving them wondering how such small incidents can create such big reactions.   What if your childhood "wasn't that bad" but you're still dealing with parenting anger? In this episode, we explore the connection between unknown childhood trauma and parenting triggers through a real coaching session with Terese, a teacher and mom of three who found herself snapping at her kids despite having plenty of support at home.   You'll discover how unresolved childhood trauma in adults shows up in parenting - even when we don't recognize our experiences as traumatic - and learn practical strategies to break generational cycles of yelling and reactivity.   Questions this episode will answer Can you have childhood trauma and not know it? Yes - many adults don't recognize patterns like walking on eggshells or constant criticism as signs of unresolved childhood trauma, but these experiences still create parenting triggers and shape how we respond to stress as parents.   Why do I get so angry as a parent when my childhood wasn't traumatic? Unknown childhood trauma often involves seemingly "normal" experiences that still create triggers in our nervous system, causing us to react intensely to situations that mirror our past, even if we don't identify our upbringing as traumatic.   What are the signs of unresolved childhood trauma in adults? Signs include quick reactivity to minor issues, parenting anger over small things, feeling like everything is "your fault," difficulty with self-compassion, and repeating patterns you experienced as a child - even from childhoods that seemed "fine."   How do I stop getting angry with my child? Breaking the cycle of parenting triggers involves recognizing your unknown childhood trauma patterns, meeting your basic needs (like movement and rest), and developing self-compassion instead of self-judgment.   How to deal with rage as a parent? Start by identifying your baseline needs, practice self-compassion when you do snap, work to separate your mother's voice from your own thoughts, and understand that parenting anger often stems from unresolved trauma and parenting patterns.   Why am I so triggered by my child when I had a normal childhood? Children often activate our own childhood wounds through their behavior, especially when it mirrors situations where we felt criticized or blamed as kids - even in families we remember as loving or "normal."   What you'll learn in this episode You'll hear how one parent's story of snapping over a bike ride reveals deeper patterns rooted in unknown childhood trauma - growing up with a mother who yelled frequently in what she considered a "normal" household. We explore how seemingly typical childhoods involving walking on eggshells create adults who struggle with self-compassion and parenting triggers, even when they don't identify their experiences as traumatic.   Discover practical strategies for addressing unresolved childhood trauma in adults, including how to identify your movement and rest baselines, why self-compassion is crucial for breaking cycles of parenting anger, and how to recognize when you're thinking critical thoughts rather than accepting them as truth. You'll learn why meeting your basic needs isn't selfish when dealing with parenting triggers - it's essential for showing up as the parent you want to be.   We also address how unresolved trauma and parenting intersect, showing you how to separate your own childhood experiences from your current parenting challenges. This episode offers hope for parents dealing with anger issues, demonstrating that understanding your triggers - even those rooted in unknown childhood trauma - is the first step toward responding to your kids with more patience and connection, regardless of whether you consider your childhood traumatic.   Ready to go deeper? If Terese's story resonates with you - if you find yourself snapping at your kids over small things and wondering why you can't just stay calm - you're not alone. Many parents have discovered that understanding their triggers is the key to lasting change.   The Why You're So Angry with  Your Child's (Age 1- 10) Age-Appropriate Behavior - And What to Do About It masterclass takes you through the same process you heard in today's episode, but goes much deeper. You'll uncover the childhood roots of your reactions, learn to recognize your patterns before they escalate, and develop the self-compassion that makes real transformation possible.   Ready to stop feeling like you're failing your kids and start showing up as the parent you know you can be?   Sign up now. Click the banner to learn more!     Jump to highlights 01:29 Introduction to today’s episode 04:32 Terese is telling her experience where she snapped, from zero to a hundred 09:33 Terese shares about her childhood 13:18 Terese often notices she sometimes snaps at her children, and she's wondering if this connects to her own childhood experiences with her mother, who often yelled and blamed her 25:15 What Terese would advise her friend if that “snapping” situation happened to her 32:54 Tools that can help when you feel that you’re about to snap 33:55 An open invitation to the Taming Your Triggers workshop

Every parent knows that harsh inner voice that whispers "You're a terrible parent" when you lose your patience, or "You've ruined your kids forever" after a difficult moment. This episode reveals a simple "magic trick" that can instantly create space between you and those critical thoughts - and it's something anyone can learn.   Discover how one powerful phrase can transform your reactions from triggered explosions to curious responses. You'll learn where your inner critic actually comes from (hint: it's often an echo from your own childhood), and how reparenting yourself can break generational cycles of trauma.   This episode recaps the following episodes, giving you a lot of the benefit of 3 hours of content, in just 21 minutes: SYPM 017: Reparenting ourselves to create empathy in the world with Amy178: How to heal your inner critic193: You don't have to believe everything you think   Questions This Episode Will Answer What is the inner critic and how does it affect parenting? The inner critic is that harsh, judgmental voice that tells you you're failing as a parent. It often stems from childhood trauma and can trigger explosive reactions to normal child behavior.   Where does the inner critic come from? Your inner critic is usually an internalized version of critical voices from your childhood - parents, teachers, or caregivers who couldn't handle your authentic self or big emotions.   How do you identify your inner critic? Watch for thoughts using absolute language ("always," "never," "terrible"), character judgments ("I'm a bad parent"), catastrophic conclusions, and voices that sound like critical figures from your past.   What does reparenting yourself mean? Reparenting yourself means giving yourself the patience, understanding, and compassion you didn't receive as a child - becoming the caring parent to yourself that you needed growing up.   How do you reparent yourself as a parent? Start by questioning your thoughts instead of believing them automatically. When you notice self-critical thoughts, respond to yourself with the same gentleness you'd offer a dear friend or your own child.   How can you break the generational cycle of trauma? Use tools like the ‘magic trick’ from this episode to create space between your triggered reactions and conscious responses, allowing you to respond from your values instead of reacting from old wounds.   What are common inner critic examples parents experience? "Everyone thinks I'm a bad parent", "I'm raising a disrespectful child", "I've damaged my child forever", "Other parents are better than me", and "I'm just repeating my parents' mistakes".   How does childhood trauma affect parenting? Unresolved childhood trauma can make you react disproportionately to normal child behavior, shut down emotionally when children express big emotions, or swing between being too permissive and too strict.   What You'll Learn in This Episode The Simple ‘Magic Trick’ That Changes Everything Learn the exact phrase that instantly creates distance between you and your critical thoughts, giving you space to respond differently in challenging parenting moments.   Real Parent Examples of Transformation Hear Katie's story of how this technique helped her stop spiraling when her friend didn't call back, and Amy's powerful example of interrupting explosive anger with her children after recognizing the pattern.   How to Identify Your Inner Critic Patterns Discover the four key signs that reveal when your inner critic is driving your reactions, including the specific language patterns and emotional triggers to watch for.   The Connection Between Childhood Trauma and Parenting Understand how experiences that left you unable to express your authentic self safely create the inner critic voices that get triggered by your children's normal behavior.   A 5-Step Practice You Can Use Today Get a concrete framework for noticing stories, adding the "magic words," getting curious about other possibilities, checking your body, and practicing self-compassion.   How This Creates Space for Different Choices Learn how stepping back from your thoughts as absolute truth opens up new possibilities for responding to your child's behavior with curiosity instead of reactivity.   Breaking Generational Cycles in Your Family Discover how using this technique not only changes your parenting but teaches your children emotional intelligence and conflict resolution skills they'll carry into adulthood.   Reparenting Yourself Through Daily Interactions Understand how this simple practice becomes a form of reparenting yourself - giving yourself the patient, understanding voice you needed as a child but may not have received.   Ready to break free from the cycle of triggered reactions and conflict in your parenting journey? If you want to: 😟 Be triggered less often by your child’s behavior, 😐 React from a place of compassion and empathy instead of anger and frustration, 😊 Respond to your child from a place that’s aligned with your values rather than reacting in the heat of the moment,   the Taming Your Triggers masterclass will help you make this shift.   Join us to transform conflict into connection and reclaim peace in your parenting journey.   Click the banner to learn more!     Printable PDF: 5 Steps on Reparenting Yourself: A Magic Trick to Break Your Family's Trauma Cycle   Jump to highlights 01:28 What’s packed into today’s episode 02:19 That voice in our heads that’s constantly judging us and makes parenting so much harder is called the inner critic 05:03 How can we identify this inner critic and separate it from what’s really happening? What triggers our inner critic? 06:44 You don’t have to believe everything you think 14:10 When we believe our thoughts completely, we only see one version of reality, but stepping back to recognize these as thoughts rather than facts opens up new possibilities for how we understand our children, partners, and ourselves as parents 15:32 What is reparenting? 17:31 Wrapping up

Explore the science behind parental emotional triggers and why willpower often fails. Discover how your bodily responses signal impending reactions and learn practical techniques to manage those moments. Uncover the significance of teaching children to handle emotions through your responses. This discussion isn't just theory; it's packed with real strategies for tackling parenting challenges, like meltdowns in public places. Transform your approach and create a healthier emotional environment for you and your kids.

Have you heard of FAFO parenting? It's all about letting kids face the consequences of their actions without parental interference. Examples include letting children get soaked in the rain or experience the fallout of forgotten toys. However, this approach raises questions about its real effectiveness and potential harms. The conversation dives into the importance of fostering supportive environments that prioritize collaboration over punishment, aiming for healthier relationships and better decision-making in kids.