240: How to prepare your kids for the real world

  In this episode, we explore how to prepare children for the real world without sacrificing their authentic selves. Drawing on research about food habits, screen time, social expectations, and discipline approaches, this discussion offers balanced strategies that prioritize connection over control. You'll learn how to guide children through external pressures while helping them develop critical thinking skills and maintaining their inherent wisdom.  

Questions this episode will answer

• How can I help my child navigate a world of hyper-palatable foods without creating unhealthy food relationships?
• What's the evidence about screen time and video games, and how can I approach them constructively?
• How do social systems pressure children to conform to limiting gender roles and expectations?
• Is traditional discipline truly preparing children for the "real world," or is there a better approach?
• How can I honor my child's authentic self while still giving them tools to succeed?

 

 What you'll learn in this episode

• The truth about BMI measurements and research on body size that contradicts common assumptions
• How the Division of Responsibility model can transform mealtime struggles
• Why video games don't increase violence and may offer surprising benefits
• Practical ways to help children develop critical thinking about media messages
• How to identify the unmet needs behind challenging behavior
• The concept of "traumatic invalidation" and its impact on children's development
• Step-by-step approaches to build children's self-regulation around screen time
• How to create meaningful conversations about problematic messages in children's books
• Ways to validate children while preparing them for life's challenges

  This episode offers a thoughtful examination of the tensions between societal pressures and children's innate wisdom, providing practical guidance for parents navigating these complex territories. Rather than offering quick fixes, we focus on building connection as the foundation for helping children develop resilience and discernment.   Other episodes mentioned

• 007: Help! My toddler won’t eat vegetables
• 140: Mythbusting about fat and BMI with Dr. Lindo Bacon
• 142: Division of Responsibility with Ellyn Satter
• 218: What children learn from video games
• 106: Patriarchy is perpetuated through parenting (Part 1)
• 050: How to raise emotionally healthy boys
• 083: White privilege in parenting: What it is & what to do about it
• 238: Feeling exhausted and overwhelmed? Tools to help you cope
• 111: Parental Burnout
• 233: Time Outs: Helpful or harmful? Here’s what the research says

  Jump to highlights 00:56 Introducing today’s episode 02:29 All kinds of cultural implications may be involved in what our children consume 04:35 Mealtimes can be stressful for children who likes to consume bread rather than to eat healthy foods like vegetables 07:12 Explaining what is a bliss point of a product 10:41 Things that help parents to navigate a world of hyper-palatable foods without creating unhealthy food relationship 15:07 Video games often reflect our broader societal values 16:35 Ways on how to help your child develop a healthy relationship with screens while preparing them for the digital world that they will inhabit 22:57 When a video game portrays a male character as warrior and a female character as healer, it often gives the same division of human qualities that pressure boys and girls 24:10 Choosing where the families live will significantly shape what children learn about social structures 26:19 Steps on how parents prepare our children for the reality while helping them develop into individuals 33:09 What is time-out teaching our children about relationship and their place in the world 42:12 How parent’s experiences shape our children to fit in the society 51:05 Acceptance of our own circumstances in dealing with our own child can be helpful at times 58:07 Wrapping up the discussion   References Linehan, M.M. (2021). Building a life worth living. New York: Random House Trade Paperbacks.

---

Moss, M. (2013, February 20). The extraordinary science of addictive junk food. The New York Times. Retrieved from: https://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/24/magazine/the-extraordinary-science-of-junk-food.html

---

National Center for Education Statistics (1996). Do rich and poor districts spend alike? Author. Retrieved from: https://nces.ed.gov/pubs/web/97916.asp#:~:text=Districts%20with%20high%2Dincome%20households,to%20spend%20for%20public%20education.&text=districts%20with%20moderate%2Dto%2Dhigh,student%20(%245%2C411%2D%20%244%2C774).