Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

242: The secret to having feedback conversations your family will actually hear

7 snips
Apr 14, 2025
Joellen Killion, a senior advisor for Learning Forward and author of The Feedback Process, shares insights on refining family communication. She delves into why feedback often triggers defensiveness and how to reframe observations to be constructive. Joellen reveals effective language patterns that encourage openness and strengthen relationships. The conversation emphasizes active listening and the importance of teaching children how to engage in the feedback process positively, transforming potential conflict into growth.
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INSIGHT

Feedback as Learning Process

  • Traditional feedback is transactional and often ignores the learner's context and feelings.
  • The feedback process involves the learner actively constructing understanding for lasting change.
INSIGHT

Autonomy Shapes Family Feedback

  • Parenting feedback differs from work feedback due to the need for autonomy in family relationships.
  • Negotiation and mutual understanding replace authority-based feedback in family contexts.
ADVICE

Discuss Feedback After Emotions Cool

  • Avoid giving feedback in the moment; wait to discuss difficult interactions later.
  • Pull your partner aside and ask about their perspective without using 'why' questions to reduce defensiveness.
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