Learning to love a partner is a huge and happy accomplishment for those of us who lived through abuse and neglect in childhood. Trauma wounds don't end in childhood; early abuse and neglect can leave us with trauma-driven behaviors that re-traumatize us and prevent healing. It can take time to release old patterns and change your life. In this video I respond to a woman with a harsh past who now struggles to find peace in her relationship, even though she is loved and supportive. Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing: https://bit.ly/3raZghI Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com  

If you had childhood trauma and you’re still relying on conventional approaches to heal, you may still be suffering with symptoms and losing hope that healing can happen. Talking about your traumatic experiences may NOT be the best way to heal from what happened to you in childhood. In fact it can activate neural circuits related to the *stress response* – that make it harder to think, harder to focus and next to impossible to process your emotions! But there's a better way. In this video I talk about 30 years of research that shows that writing about traumatic experiences has powerful healing effects. I highlight the recent podcast from Andrew Huberman @hubermanlab, summarizing the work of Dr. James Pennebaker (and subsequent peer-reviewed studies based on his work). Next Up: Learn My Daily Practice Techniques here: http://bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice You can listen to the @hubermanlab post "A Science Supported Journaling Protocol to Improve Mental & Physical Health" here: https://youtu.be/wAZn9dF3XTo?si=07-48lub-y-V6iE8 You can learn about Dr. Pennebaker and his work here: https://bit.ly/47CZ7ng Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com  

Some people can't focus on anyone but themselves. But others can't focus on themselves and instead become entirely focused on another person's problems -- their feelings, their shortcomings, and how unhappy they make you. This is codependency -- when you lose perspective on your own life and your own needs, and "implant" your will into someone else. Codependents are hooked on the belief that if the other person would only change, they would be happy. instead, they end up tired, resentful and isolated. In this four-video "Best of the Fairy" compilation, I share tips for how to recognize codependent tendencies in yourself and others, and what to do to heal. Signs You''re in a Codependent Relationship: https://bit.ly/3pwt5c6 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com  

A true friend is someone who cares about you, and is interested in you, and supports what is best for you. They don’t get to tell you what to do, they don’t get to mercilessly criticize you, and they don’t get to use you as an emotional dumping ground and demand that you keep listening. If you have CPTSD, you may find you’re often on the receiving end of that, and you think you’re obliged to be support people who are doing things that morally abhorrent to you. But this is NOT what friendship is. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman whose problem friend demands that she keep listening -- and that she not "judge" her terrible behavior. Difficult People in Your Life? Try These NINJA BOUNDARIES: https://bit.ly/3YCnpZJ Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com  

If you grew up without the attention and love of good parents, you may find yourself with symptoms of Complex-PTSD. One of the worst symptoms is an attraction to people who can’t give you attention or love. You see the red flags, but you become attached anyway. Until you've healed that attachment wound, you may find yourself getting your heart broken again and again. In this video I respond to a letter from a man who found out early in a dating relationship that his partner was not available, but couldn't stop attaching. Heal trauma-driven patterns and find real love at last. DATING & RELATIONSHIPS COURSE http://bit.ly/3IBbrv7 Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com  

If you’re living with trauma-related symptoms from abuse and neglect in childhood, you’ve had to work extra hard for things in life that come more easily to other people. Complex PTSD (CPTSD) is a type of PTSD that comes from chronic, intense stress, usually (but not always) in childhood. You might already know you have it, and you might be working hard to heal it. But if you’re like many people with CPTSD, your healing feels stuck, and you're afraid you your life may never get better. In this video I lay out ten steps you can take to accelerate your healing. Everything gets better when you find an approach to healing that works for you! Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com

For people who grew up with abuse and neglect – it’s a HUGE DAY when you finally break free of that family of origin. You actually have a barrier up against their ability to keep hurting you. You're safe, and only way they can get into your life again is when you CHOOSE to connect with them. But there’s this one huge complication, and it’s when there are other family members – especially minor children – who are still stuck in that house, and still going through what YOU used to go through. In this video I respond to a letter from a young woman who's torn between getting her own life stable, and saving her younger siblings from trauma. Here's My FREE WORKSHEET for Planning Your Life Priorities: https://bit.ly/3J3kYcH Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com  

When you weren’t loved properly as a child, it’s very, very common to become romantically involved in “complicated” relationships – where YOU’RE longing for something monogamous and committed and THEY’RE just jerking you around. With parents who were self-centered or who put you down, it’s no wonder you developed the ability to see great potential in people who are basically broken. The brutal truth is that every day you spend pouring your energy and your love into someone who can’t really DO a relationship with you, you’re blocking the possibility of real love coming into your life. How can you tell if someone is worth “working with” through tough times, and when you’re wasting your time? In this video I respond to a letter from a woman whose boyfriend is dragging her along through a lingering attachment to his ex. DATING RED FLAGS: Get My FREE Download Here: https://bit.ly/4203ozk Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com  

Bad things happen in everyone's life. For some of us, a history of abuse and neglect in childhood produces common, trauma-driven symptoms that hold us back. Even if you've endured trauma and tragedy, it's possible to heal the past, calm the symptoms and build the happy, functional, love-filled life you deserve. In this "best of" compilation, I teach about practical steps you can take to start solving problems and feeling happier today. Eleven Strategies to Feel Happier Today, FREE DOWNLOAD: https://bit.ly/3SwljsV Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com  

If you grew up neglected or abandoned, it's very likely you developed an attachment wound, and this can drive you into relationships with people who aren’t available, aren’t good to you, and aren't necessarily someone you even LIKE! One way that people with Childhood PTSD are affected by this is through long-distance relationships that don't fulfill their need for companionship and love. My letter today is from a woman whose attachment wounds drove her to rush into relationships with someone she doesn't know well; her fear of being alone keeps her clinging to someone far away who is rarely interested in her. Hear my advice to stop the pattern and change her life. Is Past Trauma Affecting Your Dating Life? Take the QUIZ: https://bit.ly/3EUy8Yh Take my FREE Course or Quizzes: https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf Send your questions & comments to: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com