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The Art of Manliness

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Dec 15, 2021 • 44min

Prototype Your Way to a Better Life

I used to wake up early, around 5:15, and do my workout right after getting out of bed. But I noticed I was tired all day, and just felt kind of stiff and not very strong during my workouts. So I decided to try waking up a couple hours later, and doing my workouts in the late afternoon instead. I found that setting up my schedule this way gave me greater energy, both overall, and during my workouts.My guest says that this tinkering I did with my routine is an example of life prototyping, a process that can be used for anything and everything in order to improve both your personal and professional life.His name is Dave Evans, and as a lecturer in Stanford’s Design Program, he teaches the popular Designing Your Life course, which, as the name implies, takes the principles of design thinking, and applies them to crafting a happy and fulfilling life. He’s also the co-author, along with Bill Burnett, of Designing Your Life and Designing Your New Work Life. Today on the show, Dave explains how one of the central steps to design thinking — prototyping — can help you make both big and small changes that move you closer to the life you want to lead. He explains what prototyping is, how prototyping a life is different from prototyping a product, the two approaches involved with the former, and embracing the design thinking mindset of being immune to failure.Resources Related to the PodcastThe Designing Your Life Course on Creative LiveAoM Podcast #418 on how to get unstuck in life with the co-founder of Stanford’s Design School, Bernie RothAoM series on crafting the life you wantAoM Podcast #731: A Futurist’s Guide to Building the Life You WantAoM Article: How to Deal With a Job You Don’t LikeAoM article on the OODA LoopConnect With Dave EvansDesigning Your Life Website
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Dec 13, 2021 • 49min

The Perils and Powers of Cowardice

There have been many books written about courage. About cowardice, however, there has only been one. The author of this lone book onb cowardice joins me today to talk about why cowardice, though much ignored, is at least equally important to understand as courage, and how the fear of the former may actually serve as a stronger motivator towards doing daring deeds.His name is Chris Walsh, and his book is Cowardice: A Brief History. Today on the show, Chris explains how a coward can be defined as "someone who, because of excessive fear, fails to do what he is supposed to do," and yet how the assumptions behind this definition can be hard to pin down. We discuss why cowardice has been so condemned through time, so much so that in the military it was long considered a crime worthy of execution. We also discuss why the fear of being a coward is so tied into manliness, and why that label constitutes the worst insult you can level at a man. Chris delves into the way external checks on cowardice, the depersonalization and technologization of war, and the rise of the therapeutic lens on life have diminished the moral heft of cowardice. He then argues that despite this fact, and the way that cultural contempt for cowardice and a personal fear of it can lead to negative effects, it remains an important prod towards doing one's duty and a foundation of moral judgment. We end our conversation with how we can use the fear of cowardice as a positive motivator in our lives.Resources Related to the PodcastThe Mystery of Courage by William Ian MillerThe Red Badge of Courage by Stephen CraneThe Thin Red Line by James JoyceDante's Inferno by DanteRoman decimationPrivate Eddie SlovikAoM series on honorAoM Article: Where Does Manhood Come From?AoM Article: Male Expendability — Inspiring or Exploitative?Connect With Chris WalshChris' Faculty Page at BU
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Dec 8, 2021 • 50min

Prepare Now to Have Your Best Year Ever

How did your 2021 go? Did you accomplish less than you wanted to? Are you hoping to have a more successful run at your goals in 2022?Well my guest today has got your plan for making the coming twelve months your best year ever. His name is Michael Hyatt, and he's the CEO of the leadership consulting firm Michael Hyatt and Company and the author/creator of the Your Best Year Ever book and course. Today on the show, Michael takes us through the five-part process he believes is key for successfully making and keeping goals, starting with the importance of adopting the right mindset and doing an after-action review of how the previous year went. We then discuss how Michael has modified the standard SMART goal model to make it smarter, why your goals should feel risky, and the number of goals you should set per year. We then discuss how to stay motivated in working on your goals, whether or not you should share your goals with others, and why you should tackle your goals by doing the easy stuff first. We end our conversation with the importance of reviewing your goals on the regular.Resources Related to the PodcastRelated AoM articles:The 11 Cognitive Distortions That Are Making You a Miserable SOBAvoiding Learned HelplessnessThe 3 Simple Steps to Stopping Negative Self-TalkPast Failure Is No Excuse for Present InactionHow Reframing Builds ResilienceMeditations on the Wisdom of ActionWhy You Shouldn't Share Your GoalsFeelings Follow ActionThe Gap and the Gain by Dan SullivanMichael Hyatt's LifeScore Assessment
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Dec 6, 2021 • 1h 4min

How Testosterone Makes Men, Men

What creates the differences between the sexes? Many would point to culture, and my guest today would agree that culture certainly shapes us. But she'd also argue that at the core of the divergence of the sexes, and in particular, of how men think and behave, is one powerful hormone: testosterone.Her name is Dr. Carole Hooven, and she's a Harvard biologist and the author of T: The Story of Testosterone, the Hormone That Dominates and Divides Us. Today on the show, Carole explains the arguments that are made against testosterone's influence on shaping men into men, and why she doesn't think they hold water. She then unpacks the argument for how testosterone does function as the driving force in sex differences, and how it fundamentally shapes the bodies and minds of males. We delve into where T is made, how much of it men have compared to women, and what historical cases of castration tell us about the centrality of testosterone in male development. We then discuss how T shapes males, starting in the womb, and going into puberty and beyond, before turning to its influence in athletic performance. We end our conversation with Carole's impassioned plea for celebrating what's great about men.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Podcast #86: Demonic Males With Richard WranghamAoM series on testosteroneAoM Podcast #336: Master Your TestosteroneAoM series on statusAoM Podcast #756: How the Desire for Status Explains (Pretty Much) EverythingAoM series on the origins and nature of manhoodConnect With Carole HoovenCarole's WebsiteCarole on Twitter 
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Dec 1, 2021 • 52min

Cormac McCarthy, The Road, and Carrying the Fire

Once a year, I read The Road by Cormac McCarthy. It's a cathartic annual ritual for me. What is it about this novel that has such an impact on my soul and those of other readers? Who is the man who wrote it, and what was he trying to do with this story of a father and son struggling to survive in a post-apocalyptic landscape?For answers to these questions, I decided to talk to a foremost expert on McCarthy's work, as well as the literature of the American West in general. His name is Steven Frye and he's a professor of English, a novelist in his own right, and the author and editor of several books about the reclusive, philosophical author, including Understanding Cormac McCarthy. We begin our conversation with some background on McCarthy and a discussion of his distinctive style and themes, and why he avoids the limelight and prefers to hang out with scientists over fellow artists. We then dive into The Road, and Steve unpacks what inspired it, as well as the authors and books that influenced it. We then dig into the big themes of The Road, and how it can be read as a biblical allegory that wrestles with the existence of God. We delve into the tension which exists between the father and son in the book, and what it means to "carry the fire." We end our conversation with why reading The Road makes you feel both depressed and hopeful at the same time.A spoiler alert here: If you haven't read The Road yet, we do reveal some of the plot points in this discussion. Also, why haven't you read The Road yet?Resources Related to the PodcastOther books by Steven Frye, including his novel Dogwood CrossingMcCarthy's books mentioned in the show:The RoadAll the Pretty HorsesBlood MeridianThe Orchard KeeperNo Country for Old MenThe Sunset LimitedThe film adaptation of The RoadThe Santa Fe InstituteBrothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky"Cat in the Rain" — short story by Ernest Hemingway"Indian Camp" — short story by Ernest HemingwayAoM Podcast #635: The Existentialist's Survival GuideAoM Article: Carry the FireAoM Article: Books So Good I've Read Them 2X (Or More!)Connect With Steven FryeSteve's website
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Nov 29, 2021 • 48min

To Drink or Not to Drink

As the title of his book — Drink? — suggests, world-renowned professor of neuropsychopharmacology David Nutt thinks the cost/benefit analysis around consuming alcohol is an open question. He's not anti-alcohol — he regularly drinks himself — but he also thinks most people (more than 2/3 of folks around the world have had a drink in the past year) need to understand a lot more about drinking than they typically do in order to make an informed choice as to whether, and how much, to partake.To that end, today on the show Dr. Nutt shares the ins and outs of something he calls both a fantastic, and a horrible, drug. We discuss how people acquire a taste for something that initially registers as a toxic poison and how alcohol affects the body and mind. We then delve into alcohol's long-term health consequences, including its link to cancer, the fact that it kills more people via stroke than by cirrhosis, the way it has a feminizing effect on men, and what it does to your sleep. We discuss what influences someone’s chances of becoming alcoholic, and signs that you’ve got a drinking problem. David also argues that drinking has some benefits, and offers suggestions on how to imbibe alcohol in a way that helps manage its risks. We end our conversation with why more people are curbing their drinking, and the synthetic alcohol David is developing that mimics the relaxing effects of alcohol, without its negative downsides.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Article: How a Man Drinks Responsibly: Ask These 3 QuestionsAoM Article: Why I'm Thankful I Had a Drinking Problem: A Few Life Lessons From Beating the BottleAoM Article: Guide to Drinking for the TeetotalerConnect With David NuttDr. Nutt's faculty page at the Imperial College LondonGaba Labs
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Nov 24, 2021 • 49min

The Quest for a Moral Life

Note: This is a rebroadcast. This episode originally aired June 2019.Do you ever feel like you’re spinning your existential wheels in life? That outwardly, you seem to be doing ok, but inwardly, you feel kind of empty? My guest today would say that you’ve got to move on from trekking up life’s first mountain, to begin a journey up its second. His name is David Brooks and he’s the author of The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life. In that book, David makes the case that there are two mountains that we climb in life: The first is about the self — getting a college degree, starting a career, buying a home, and making your mark on the world. But at some point, that mountain starts to feel unfulfilling. That’s when we discover there’s a second mountain to ascend — a path of selflessness, relationships, and greater meaning. Today on the show, David tells us what he got wrong in his previous book, The Road to Character, and how The Second Mountain expands the vision of the good life. We then discuss why the first mountain of life gets more attention in the West and how the hyper individualism it encourages has led to an increase in loneliness, anxiety, and existential angst. David then walks us through how we shift courses from the first mountain of achievement to the second mountain of meaning by making commitments to things outside of ourselves. We then discuss the four commitments he thinks bring us real meaning and significance, and how we can seek and find them.Show HighlightsHow this new book serves as a correction to The Road to CharacterLies that culture tells us about becoming moral (and happy)The social history of our country’s individualismThe downsides of this individualismThe rise of tribalismWhy David is optimistic about how people are using social mediaThe wrong ways that people look for meaning and significanceThe first mountain vs. the second mountain of lifeHow do commitments give life meaning and bring us joy?How you really go about “finding” yourselfCareer vs. vocationThe next generation’s great responsibilityCommitting ourselves to “maximum marriage”The importance of intellectual challengeMaking the case for faith/religionWhat does an ideal community look like?The interplay of these various commitmentsResources/People/Articles Mentioned in PodcastMy first interview with David about characterSources of Existential AngstThe Character-Building School of ParenthoodBowling AloneSuper Bowl III9 Reasons You Should Host a Dinner Party This WeekendBecoming a Digital MinimalistLove Is All You NeedAre Modern People the Most Exhausted in History?AoM series on male depressionThe Best Way to Find Your VocationAoM series on vocationTim Keller’s The Meaning of MarriageWhy Every Man Should Study the ClassicsWhy You Should Join the Great ConversationWhy You Should Go to Church (Even If You’re Not Sure of Your Beliefs)The Death and Life of Great American Cities by Jane JacobsConnect With DavidWe Are Weavers David’s NY Times columnDavid on Twitter
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Nov 22, 2021 • 47min

The Epic Story of the Making of The Godfather

When it comes to lists of men’s favorite movies, The Godfather is a perennial inclusion. And as hard as this may be to believe, the critically acclaimed and popularly beloved film is coming up on the 50th anniversary of its release.Journalist Mark Seal wrote an in-depth piece on the making of The Godfather for Vanity Fair magazine back in 2009, and after doing even more interviews with director Francis Ford Coppola, the actors of the film, and other behind-the-scenes players, wrote a new book on the subject called Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli: The Epic Story of the Making of The Godfather. It’s easy to forget that the film was based on a novel by Mario Puzo, and we spend the first part of our conversation there, with Mark unpacking how an indebted gambler became a bestselling novelist. From there we turn to how Puzo’s novel was adapted for the screen — a story as dramatic and entertaining as the film itself. Mark explains why Coppola took the job of directing the film and his genius for casting. He delves into the unexpected selection of Marlon Brando to play Don Corleone, and how James Caan inhabited the role of Sonny, despite not being Italian-American. We get into how a real-life character named Joseph Colombo temporarily shut down production of the film in opposition to the stereotyping of Italian-Americans as mafia, despite the fact Colombo was a mob boss himself. Mark explains why Coppola considered making The Godfather the most miserable experience of his life and the X-factor that ultimately made the film so good. We end our conversation with whether a movie like The Godfather could be made today.Resources Related to the PodcastThe Godfather by Mario Puzo“The Godfather Wars” — Mark Seal’s 2009 piece for Vanity FairHearingsJoseph ColomboAoM Podcast #551: Inside the Gangsters’ CodeAoM Article: 100 Must-See MoviesConnect With Mark SealMark’s WebsiteMark on TwitterMark on Instagram
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Nov 17, 2021 • 42min

How to Achieve Cognitive Dominance

When it comes to high-stakes endeavors, few are as fraught as brain surgery. One false move and you can forever alter someone's life. That's why my guest has spent his life studying how to master fear and enhance performance, and gained insights that can help anyone do likewise in every area of their life. His name is Dr. Mark McLaughlin, and he's a wrestling coach, a lecturer at West Point, and a practicing neurosurgeon, as well as the author of Cognitive Dominance: A Brain Surgeon's Quest to Out-Think Fear. Today on the show, Mark and I discuss how fear manifests itself in a range from mild discomfort to full-blown paralysis, and how you can get a handle on it by developing cognitive dominance. Mark then unpacks what cognitive dominance is, and how it involves being able to overcome our visceral reaction to unexpected events, and respond to elements outside our control with poise and composure. We then talk about how to gain that kind of composure by breaking things down into objects (things that exist independently of us, with features everyone can agree on) and subjects (things that are specific to you, and encompass the sphere within which you can personally act). Mark walks us through how the objective and subjective can form an x- and y-axis, and how you can map the things that happen to you into the four quadrants they form in order to figure out how to respond. We end our conversation with how to deal with known unknowns by making a two-column list of who you do and don’t want to be, and focusing on the former.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Article: 20 Classic Poems Every Man Should ReadAoM Podcast #335 exploring archetypes and meaning with Jordan PetersonAoM Podcast #377: 12 Rules for Life with Jordan PetersonAoM Podcast #316: An Introduction to StoicismThe Daily Stoic by Ryan HolidayAoM Podcast #651: How to Turn Fear Into FuelAoM Article: How the Hero's Journey Can Help You Become a Better ManConnect With Mark McLaughlinMark's WebsiteMark on Instagram
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Nov 15, 2021 • 50min

How the Desire for Status Explains (Pretty Much) Everything

Being famous. Knowing someone famous. Getting a laugh after telling a joke. Getting a good grade. Getting likes on a social media post. Winning a video game. Cooking a tasty meal. Being good looking. Having inside knowledge. Sharing a good recommendation.We often think of status exclusively in terms of wealth, but it's actually at play everywhere, in every situation where we get the feeling of being of value, where we feel ever so slightly elevated in our relative social position. The universal human desire for status greatly influences our culture, as well as our own behavior and the ups and downs of our mood. We would all do well then to understand status better, and my guest today can help you do that. His name is Will Storr and he's the author of The Status Game: On Social Position and How We Use It. Today on the show, Will walks us through why status in its infinite forms is so important to people, the ways it can be gained through dominance, virtue, and success, and how status games take place both within groups and between them. We talk about the good of status — how it can give us a psychological high and motivate the pursuit of skill, competence, and achievement — as well as its dark sides, including the way that a loss in status, and the resulting feeling of humiliation, leads to depression and violence. Will explains how status can be gained by enforcing the rules of a group and punishing those who seem to be lowering the overall status of the tribe, and how this punitive dynamic plays out online. We also discuss how when you try to eliminate certain status games by making things equal, people just find other status games to play, and that when one hierarchy is destroyed, another simply rises to take its place. We end our conversation with what we can do, if the status game is inescapable, to play it in a healthy way.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM series on statusAoM Article: How Men Are Evolved for FightingStudy on how mindfulness training can lead to feelings of superiorityHikikomori — Japanese who have withdrawn themselves from societyAoM Article: How to REALLY Be Alpha Like the WolfAoM Podcast #734: How Moral Grandstanding Is Ruining Our Public DiscoursePotlatchEnvy: A Theory of Social Behaviour by Helmut SchoeckConnect With Will StorrWill on TwitterWill's Website

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