Self-control has been emphasized since ancient times as a way to cultivate our minds, emotions, bodies, and drives, with modern approaches recognizing the limitations of strict self-control and advocating for acceptance of negative emotional states rather than constantly trying to change them.
Ancient cultures valued virtues and emphasized becoming good people, with modern self-help books emphasizing understanding others and making them feel important in building positive relationships.
Deep dives
Ancient and Modern Approaches to Self-Control
Self-control has been emphasized since ancient times as a way to cultivate our minds, emotions, bodies, and drives. Ancient Stoics focused on mind control, emphasizing the need to control thoughts and judgments to regulate emotions. However, modern approaches like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) recognize the limitations of strict self-control and advocate for acceptance of negative emotional states rather than constantly trying to change them.
Virtue Ethics and Cultivating Goodness
Ancient cultures, both in the East and the West, valued virtues and emphasized becoming good people. Confucian ethics highlighted humility and altruism while respecting hierarchies and maintaining social harmony. Aristotle's virtue ethics focused on cultivating habits of virtue to become naturally inclined to do the right thing at the right time. Modern self-help books like Dale Carnegie's 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' emphasize understanding others, giving attention, and making others feel important in building positive relationships.
Interpersonal Relationships as Transactional
In the field of self-improvement, the importance of relationships is often discussed. Machiavelli's approach focused on manipulating others by understanding their fears and desires to achieve personal goals. Dale Carnegie's principles echo this by advising genuine interest, attention, and recognition as ways to establish effective relationships. While these approaches may be seen as transactional, they highlight the importance of giving attention and meeting the fundamental need in others to be appreciated and valued.
The Quest for Self-Knowledge and Purpose
Self-improvement throughout history has involved a quest for self-knowledge and defining one's purpose. Marcus Aurelius' 'Meditations' emphasized recognizing that suffering is caused by our own reactions and judgments. 'The Happiness Trap' by Russ Harris, based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), explores how accepting negative thoughts and emotions can help gain clarity and live in the present moment. Victor Frankl's 'Man's Search for Meaning' focuses on finding purpose and meaning as driving forces to endure challenging circumstances.
There are thousands of books, podcasts, and social media posts about how to be more productive, strengthen your relationships, find your purpose, and be your all-around best self. And there are legions of programs and seminars out there designed to help you improve your life. All together, self-help represents a multi-billion dollar industry.
But despite its ubiquity and cultural influence, you may never have thought about the deeper underpinnings of self-improvement. My guest has. In fact, her research led her to add being a life coach to her academic work as a professor of cultural history, surely creating one of the most unique career combinations. Her name is Anna Schaffner and she's the author of The Art of Self-Improvement: Ten Timeless Truths. Anna and I begin our conversation with how the idea of self-improvement, far from being a recent, Western phenomenon, traces back to antiquity and can be found across cultures. We discuss how self-help reflects what a culture values, and changes based on a culture's conception of selfhood, agency, and the relationship between the individual and society. From there we turn to a few of the timeless principles of self-improvement — self-control, being virtuous, and building positive relationships — looking both at how they were tackled anciently, as well as more modern angles that can also be helpful. We discuss the downside of taking a strictly Stoic approach to life, the idea of making virtue a habit, and how Dale Carnegie can be seen as a modern Machiavelli, in a good way. We end our conversation with Anna's four favorite self-improvement books.