
Pillow Talks
Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!
Latest episodes

Feb 27, 2025 • 1h 5min
EPISODE 197: Ask A Sex Therapist - Resentment, Sexual Frustration, And The Death Grip
Ever wondered how to manage mismatched libidos? Discover tips for addressing sexual frustration and navigating sensitive topics like the 'death grip' in a fun and informative way. Learn about intriguing phenomena like sexsomnia and its impact on relationships. The hosts share advice on balancing chores with intimacy, highlighting the importance of open communication. Plus, embrace the imperfections of sexual experiences while fostering deeper connections with practical insights that ensure your love life stays vibrant.

10 snips
Feb 20, 2025 • 1h 1min
EPISODE 196: 90 Prompts to Transform Your Sex Life (We Answer Some Live!)
Dive into a playful and enlightening discussion about spicing up your love life! Explore 90 engaging prompts designed to enhance intimacy and communication with your partner. Discover why open conversations about sex can lead to a better connection and hear real listener tales that spark laughter and blushes. The hosts passionately share their own candid answers, all while introducing an innovative card deck to make these interactions fun and less awkward. Get ready to transform your relationship one prompt at a time!

12 snips
Feb 13, 2025 • 1h 6min
Episode 195: Giddyup, Cowgirl! Tips, Tricks, & Techniques For Maximum Pleasure
Discover the empowering secrets of the Cowgirl position, as experts unravel its pleasure potential and tackle common insecurities. Learn how to move confidently and outlast discomfort with practical tips. Fun variations like Captain Morgan Cowgirl add excitement to the mix! Dive into discussions about body image, communication in relationships, and how to embrace your own pleasure. Transform self-conscious moments into confident connections while mastering the art of intimacy. Get ready to feel like a total badass in the bedroom!

14 snips
Feb 6, 2025 • 1h 13min
Episode 194: What Your Partner Wishes You’d Stop Doing In The Bedroom Part 2
Ever wondered what your partner secretly wishes you'd stop doing in the bedroom? This discussion dives into common complaints, from communication blunders to awkward initiation attempts. Surprising grievances about kissing and aftercare surface, along with practical tips for improvement. The hosts emphasize the importance of open dialogue, exploring how clear communication can enhance intimacy and satisfy both partners. Humor and personal anecdotes add a light touch, making it relatable and informative!

Jan 30, 2025 • 1h 9min
Episode 193: The Things We Can’t Say In The Comments
Ever wondered what lurks behind spicy social media comments? The hosts explore the challenges of online feedback and the need for deeper conversations. They tackle spicy topics like quickie intimacy, communication, and consent, all while addressing societal taboos surrounding sexual discussions. From navigating fantasies to prioritizing intimacy in relationships, this episode is packed with insights to help build stronger connections. Plus, tips for busy parents to keep romance alive amidst the chaos!

Jan 23, 2025 • 51min
Episode 192: “Is This Normal?” Part 4 — Low Desire Husband, Never Had A Fight, & Baby Talk
Delve into relationship norms as the hosts tackle sensitive questions, like a husband's zero sex drive and the absence of conflict in a couple's dynamic. Discover how stress affects intimacy and the significance of honest communication, especially surrounding baby talk. They also discuss the essential role of aftercare in intimacy and how expressing needs fosters deeper connections. Packed with practical tips and real talk, this conversation navigates the sometimes awkward terrain of love and desire.

Jan 16, 2025 • 1h 8min
Episode 191: Breaking Free From Purity Culture And Religious Shame
The discussion dives into the challenges of escaping the grip of purity culture. Personal stories illuminate the harmful effects of religious shame on sexuality. The hosts offer practical tips for fostering self-acceptance and healthier attitudes. They critique societal expectations, especially on women, shedding light on unfair purity standards. Emphasizing the importance of open dialogue and personal agency, they invite listeners to redefine their beliefs about sexuality and reclaim their narratives.

Jan 9, 2025 • 57min
Episode 190: Am I Being Reasonable Or Ridiculous?
This discussion dives into the intricate balance of reasonable versus ridiculous relationship requests. The hosts explore boundaries with a listener's role-play idea and stress the importance of clear communication in intimacy. They tackle desires around masturbation and personal space while emphasizing the need for self-care. With insights on rekindling wedding night fantasies and navigating societal pressures on sexual needs, the conversation is both playful and insightful, offering practical advice for couples seeking deeper connections.

Jan 2, 2025 • 54min
Episode 189: Can We Have A Fresh Start? Or Is It Too Late?
As 2025 begins, the hosts explore the idea of fresh starts in relationships, sharing audience stories and offering practical advice. They discuss navigating intimacy, proposal hesitations, and the emotional complexities that can arise, especially when influenced by addiction and financial stress. Tips on rekindling connections and the importance of communication are highlighted. The conversation wraps up with reflections on love and healing, encouraging listener engagement and support in relationship journeys.

Dec 26, 2024 • 47min
Episode 188: Is Your Ultimatum Going To Work?
The conversation kicks off with a lively discussion on the perils of ultimatums in relationships, sparked by Netflix's 'The Ultimatum.' The hosts dig into real-life listener experiences, illustrating how pressure can cloud authenticity. They delve into the emotional fallout of sexual demands, advocating for intimacy over transactional encounters. Personal stories highlight how ultimatums can lead to unexpected growth, while the importance of open communication serves as a central theme. Listener feedback rounds out the insightful exploration.