E219: The Truth About Female Orgasm: Your Q’s Answered!

Jul 31, 2025

Dive into the intriguing world of the female orgasm! Discover what it truly feels like and how to recognize your own experiences. Uncover the common myths surrounding pleasure, and hear personal stories that highlight the journey to understanding intimacy. Learn about the surprising connection between a full bladder and orgasm intensity. The discussion emphasizes acceptance and personalized exploration, proving that every woman's path to pleasure is unique and valid.

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ANECDOTE

Vanessa Marin's Orgasm Struggle

Vanessa Marin struggled to orgasm with partners despite being a sex therapist.
She faked orgasms until she met her partner Xander, which was a source of frustration and confusion.

INSIGHT

Orgasm vs. Squirting Clarified

Female orgasm and squirting are separate processes; most women do not squirt.
Lack of squirting does not mean no orgasm; women should not confuse the two.

ADVICE

Two Stages to Female Orgasm

Learn female orgasm in two stages: first to have it, then to make it pleasurable.
Mental affirmations like "I'm orgasmic" can boost pleasure and recognition of orgasms.

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You’ve probably heard people say, “Oh, you’ll just know.”

But what if… you don’t know? 👀

This week, we’re diving deep into one of Vanessa’s all-time favorite topics (and the one she first became known for as a sex therapist!): the female orgasm. Whether you’re wondering if you’ve ever actually had one, struggling to feel much of anything, or just desperate to experience the kind of toe-curling, body-melting release you’ve seen in movies — this episode is for you. 💦

We’re answering your most personal, vulnerable, and downright relatable questions like:

“How do I know if it was an orgasm ?”
“It felt good… but it was short — does that count?”
“Everyone says I’ll ‘just know’ but I’m still not sure. HELP.”
“I’ve only ever had ‘mini’ orgasms — is there something wrong with me?”
“What leg positions help or hurt the chance of orgasming?”
“Does a full bladder make orgasms feel stronger?”
“What does a vaginal orgasm even feel like and how do I know if I’ve had one?”

Vanessa also opens up about her own experience struggling with orgasm (yes, even as a sex therapist), what finally changed things, and the biggest myths that keep women stuck. And if you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, broken, or like you missed the memo on pleasure… this episode will remind you that you’re not alone — and there is a path forward.

✨ PLUS: If you’re a woman who’s struggled with orgasm (or never had one), check out our course Finishing School — the step-by-step system that’s helped thousands of women finally get there. Visit vmtherapy.com/orgasm to learn more.

💛 What You'll Hear:

The most common signs of orgasm (and why they can look different for every body)
Real questions from listeners who aren’t sure if they’ve had one yet
Why some orgasms feel big and some feel… meh
The orgasm “standard” we’ve all been sold by Hollywood
Practical tips for recognizing and expanding your pleasure
How Vanessa’s own orgasm journey inspired her to create Finishing School

🎧 Stay connected:

📸 Follow us on Instagram ➡️ https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander

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