Pillow Talks
Vanessa & Xander Marin | QCODE
Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!
Episodes
Mentioned books
Oct 9, 2025 • 1h 6min
E229: Ask A Sex Therapist: Swallowing, Fetishes, + Exes
Dive into tantalizing topics like why some guys are passionate about swallowing and what that reveals about intimacy. Explore the tricky dynamics of 'lasting too long' during sex and how to communicate desires without referencing an ex. Learn how to tackle fetishes and the importance of addressing erectile dysfunction compassionately. Plus, discover ways to make scheduling sex more natural and reclaim a healthy sex life after trauma. Expect real questions and expert advice in this revealing conversation!
Oct 2, 2025 • 1h 6min
E228: Breaking Down A Real-Life Text Fight (pt 2.)
Ever found yourself in a text fight? The hosts break down a real-life tussle between a couple dealing with mismatched sex drives and parenting pressures. They discuss why texting escalates arguments and how to communicate emotions without blame. Tips include expressing hurt feelings gently, validating your partner, and avoiding dramatic threats. With insights on creating intimacy instead of conflict, this conversation is a treasure trove for anyone navigating relationship challenges.
Sep 25, 2025 • 1h 1min
E227: Initiation: What You’re Getting Wrong And How To Get It Right
Discover the secrets to transforming your initiation game in the bedroom! Learn common mistakes couples make and how to share the excitement instead of piling on the pressure. Get practical tips to keep things flirty and fun, and find out why timing can make or break the moment. Explore the emotional connection needed before intimacy and the importance of mutual respect in initiating. Say goodbye to awkward signals and hello to a more connected, vibrant sex life!
Sep 18, 2025 • 1h 5min
E226: Foreplay Frustrations: How to Get More (and Better) Foreplay
Many crave more foreplay, often feeling it's too routine or brief. Discover why redefining foreplay can enhance intimacy and enjoyment, especially for women's pleasure. Learn tips on how to communicate desires without hurting feelings. Explore diverse types of foreplay, from sensory play to choreplay, and uncover ideas for breaking out of a foreplay rut. Listen in for strategies to handle mismatched desires and how to discuss fantasies comfortably. Foreplay is not just a warm-up; it can be a thrilling part of your sex life!
7 snips
Sep 11, 2025 • 1h 4min
E225: The Truth About Sex and Aging: Menopause, Erectile Dysfunction, and Libido
Aging doesn’t have to dull your sex life! This lively discussion tackles how libido shifts with age, debunks myths about sexual desire, and offers tips for maintaining intimacy through the years. Listeners learn about navigating menopause, managing changes in body image, and creative ways to keep the spark alive. Humorous stories and listener messages reveal that many find sex more fulfilling with age. Plus, expert advice helps couples embrace their evolving bodies and desires. It’s all about celebrating sexuality at any stage!
Sep 4, 2025 • 1h 5min
E224: The Beginner’s Guide to Sex Toys & Tools
Dive into the world of bedroom toys without shame! Learn about the best starter toys for women and how to have those tricky conversations with your partner. Discover the differences between solo and partnered play, plus how to safely store your toys from prying eyes. Enjoy hilarious real-life mishaps that many can relate to. Whether you're curious about male sex toys or just need a good laugh, this discussion covers it all while promoting intimacy and pleasure!
Aug 28, 2025 • 1h 6min
E223: Sex After Baby: Postpartum Sex, Intimacy & Desire
Navigating intimacy after childbirth can be a rollercoaster. Couples often face unexpected challenges, like feeling disconnected and overwhelmed. They discuss the pressure of being 'cleared' for sex and the reality that readiness can vary. Pain during intimacy, body image insecurities, and the struggle to rekindle romance are all addressed. Listeners receive practical advice on communication and gradual reconnection, reminding them that intimacy is about emotional bonds, not just physical moments.
8 snips
Aug 21, 2025 • 1h 10min
E222: The AI Girlfriend: How to Protect Your Relationship from Artificial Intimacy
Delve into the intriguing world of AI and its impact on modern relationships. From a shocking Reddit tale of a throuple involving an AI girlfriend to the emotional intimacy risks posed by AI companions, the conversation highlights the blurred lines of loyalty in love. Discover why relying on AI for emotional support can undermine real connections, and learn the crucial questions couples need to address about tech boundaries. Plus, find out how to use AI intentionally to enhance, rather than threaten, your bond.
Aug 14, 2025 • 1h 9min
E221: How to Explore Your Kinks Without Shame (Cuckolding, Pegging, Breeding, and more)
Dive into the intriguing world of kinks and desires! Discover why kinks are perfectly normal and explore the difference between fantasies and deeper desires. Find out how to navigate mismatched fantasies in relationships and tackle the complexities of cuckolding and pegging. Unpack societal taboos around male sexuality and learn how to communicate openly with your partner. Whether you're curious or kinky, this discussion fosters a shame-free environment for exploring your most intimate interests!
Aug 7, 2025 • 59min
E220: A Partner’s Guide To The Female Orgasm
Dive into the mysterious world of the female orgasm through a partner's lens. Discover why women sometimes fake orgasms and how to navigate those delicate moments. Learn what to say to support a partner who hasn't experienced one yet and explore the best positions that enhance pleasure. Get insights on overcoming performance anxiety, understanding female arousal, and even the art of aftercare. Plus, find out how to help your partner achieve multiple orgasms and navigate the intricacies of intimacy together.
