Pillow Talks
Vanessa & Xander Marin | QCODE
Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!
Episodes
Mentioned books
Aug 7, 2025 • 59min
E220: A Partner’s Guide To The Female Orgasm
Dive into the mysterious world of the female orgasm through a partner's lens. Discover why women sometimes fake orgasms and how to navigate those delicate moments. Learn what to say to support a partner who hasn't experienced one yet and explore the best positions that enhance pleasure. Get insights on overcoming performance anxiety, understanding female arousal, and even the art of aftercare. Plus, find out how to help your partner achieve multiple orgasms and navigate the intricacies of intimacy together.
Jul 31, 2025 • 1h 4min
E219: The Truth About Female Orgasm: Your Q’s Answered!
Dive into the intriguing world of the female orgasm! Discover what it truly feels like and how to recognize your own experiences. Uncover the common myths surrounding pleasure, and hear personal stories that highlight the journey to understanding intimacy. Learn about the surprising connection between a full bladder and orgasm intensity. The discussion emphasizes acceptance and personalized exploration, proving that every woman's path to pleasure is unique and valid.
Jul 24, 2025 • 1h 3min
E218 Got the Ick? Why It Happens in Relationships + What to Do About It pt. 2
Dive into the hilarious and sometimes cringe-worthy world of relationship 'icks.' Discover what turns intimacy sour, from questionable hygiene habits to post-birth surprises. Learn why certain habits, like the infamous 'dick flop,' are major mood killers. Explore listener stories that reveal just how much influence our partner's quirks can have on attraction. With a fun twist, the discussion highlights the importance of communication and vulnerability in navigating these tough moments together.
Jul 17, 2025 • 1h 6min
E217: Got the Ick? Why It Happens in Relationships + What to Do About It
Explore the cringe-worthy phenomenon of 'the ick' in relationships, where even the smallest quirks can turn love into repulsion. Discover hilarious listener stories about everything from bad breath to annoying chewing, and what triggers these feelings. Learn how 'the ick' differs from serious red flags and get practical tips on handling attraction challenges. The hosts share light-hearted anecdotes about personal hygiene and the absurdity of romantic preferences, reminding us that even quirks can spark laughter in love.
17 snips
Jul 10, 2025 • 56min
E216: The Truth About Being Passive In Bed: And How To Take Control
Ever felt awkward when asked to take control in the bedroom? You're not alone! This discussion dives into why many default to passivity and explores how men actually feel about women taking initiative. Discover how to foster open communication with your partner and engage fully in intimacy. Learn simple ways to build confidence, reframe control, and introduce a playful atmosphere, proving that taking charge doesn't have to come with pressure. It's all about balance, connection, and embracing the moment!
13 snips
Jul 3, 2025 • 56min
E215: Mismatched Sex Drive Types: The #1 Reason Couples Struggle With Desire
Explore the fascinating differences between spontaneous and responsive sex drive types that can lead to mismatched intimacy in couples. Understand how mental desire and physical arousal don't always align, and why communication is key. Discover practical tips for initiating sex that respects both partners' needs. Learn to navigate relationship dynamics without resentment, and unlock the power of touch to rekindle excitement. This enlightening conversation offers a transformative mindset shift for couples seeking to bridge their intimacy gaps.
12 snips
Jun 27, 2025 • 55min
E214: The Truth About Being Touch-Starved (Even In A Happy Relationship)
This week, the hosts unpack the power of physical touch in relationships. They discuss the concept of 'touch starvation' and its impact, revealing that many couples crave more emotional and physical connection. Listeners learn the difference between sexual and non-sexual touch, and how both are essential for intimacy. With practical tips and a quick exercise to enhance affection, they emphasize the importance of communication about touch preferences. Tune in for insights that could spark new connections!
10 snips
Jun 20, 2025 • 1h 6min
E213: What Do Men REALLY Think About…? Part 3 (Doggy Style, Aging, Leg Hair & More!)
Dive into the intriguing minds of men as they candidly discuss everything from their thoughts on doggy style to unexpected preferences in intimacy. Discover their humorous takes on aging and societal expectations while navigating the complexities of relationships. The conversation shines a light on personal grooming choices and how they impact attraction. Plus, get insights into what keeps them engaged in love and life, and the surprising truths about daily life dynamics. Laughter and honesty collide in this revealing exploration!
Jun 12, 2025 • 1h 18min
E212: Why You Flinch When Your Partner Touches You (And How To Fix It) "The Bristle Reaction”
Explore the intriguing phenomenon known as the 'Bristle Reaction'—that instinctive withdrawal when a partner reaches out for affection. Discover the three main reasons behind this common occurrence and learn six actionable tips to reignite enjoyment in physical touch. The hosts delve into emotional intimacy, explaining how personal boundaries and communication play essential roles in navigating these complex feelings. Gain insights into the nuances of physical intimacy and how to foster deeper connections with your partner.
Jun 5, 2025 • 1h 9min
E211: Ask A Sex Therapist: Penis Pumps, Pegging, + Postpartum Sex
A sex therapist and her husband tackle your most pressing and sometimes embarrassing questions about intimacy. They dive into whether it's odd not to kiss during sex, clarify what pegging is, and discuss the unique pleasures that may surpass traditional sexual experiences. The potential risks of using penis pumps and the dynamics of postpartum sex take center stage, alongside a candid look at masculinity post-vasectomy. Packed with humor and insight, this conversation encourages open communication and fosters a deeper understanding of sexual relationships.
