Pillow Talks
Vanessa & Xander Marin | QCODE
Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!
Episodes
Mentioned books
Aug 28, 2025 • 1h 6min
E223: Sex After Baby: Postpartum Sex, Intimacy & Desire
Navigating intimacy after childbirth can be a rollercoaster. Couples often face unexpected challenges, like feeling disconnected and overwhelmed. They discuss the pressure of being 'cleared' for sex and the reality that readiness can vary. Pain during intimacy, body image insecurities, and the struggle to rekindle romance are all addressed. Listeners receive practical advice on communication and gradual reconnection, reminding them that intimacy is about emotional bonds, not just physical moments.
7 snips
Aug 21, 2025 • 1h 10min
E222: The AI Girlfriend: How to Protect Your Relationship from Artificial Intimacy
Delve into the intriguing world of AI and its impact on modern relationships. From a shocking Reddit tale of a throuple involving an AI girlfriend to the emotional intimacy risks posed by AI companions, the conversation highlights the blurred lines of loyalty in love. Discover why relying on AI for emotional support can undermine real connections, and learn the crucial questions couples need to address about tech boundaries. Plus, find out how to use AI intentionally to enhance, rather than threaten, your bond.
Aug 14, 2025 • 1h 9min
E221: How to Explore Your Kinks Without Shame (Cuckolding, Pegging, Breeding, and more)
Dive into the intriguing world of kinks and desires! Discover why kinks are perfectly normal and explore the difference between fantasies and deeper desires. Find out how to navigate mismatched fantasies in relationships and tackle the complexities of cuckolding and pegging. Unpack societal taboos around male sexuality and learn how to communicate openly with your partner. Whether you're curious or kinky, this discussion fosters a shame-free environment for exploring your most intimate interests!
Aug 7, 2025 • 59min
E220: A Partner’s Guide To The Female Orgasm
Dive into the mysterious world of the female orgasm through a partner's lens. Discover why women sometimes fake orgasms and how to navigate those delicate moments. Learn what to say to support a partner who hasn't experienced one yet and explore the best positions that enhance pleasure. Get insights on overcoming performance anxiety, understanding female arousal, and even the art of aftercare. Plus, find out how to help your partner achieve multiple orgasms and navigate the intricacies of intimacy together.
Jul 31, 2025 • 1h 4min
E219: The Truth About Female Orgasm: Your Q’s Answered!
Dive into the intriguing world of the female orgasm! Discover what it truly feels like and how to recognize your own experiences. Uncover the common myths surrounding pleasure, and hear personal stories that highlight the journey to understanding intimacy. Learn about the surprising connection between a full bladder and orgasm intensity. The discussion emphasizes acceptance and personalized exploration, proving that every woman's path to pleasure is unique and valid.
Jul 24, 2025 • 1h 3min
E218 Got the Ick? Why It Happens in Relationships + What to Do About It pt. 2
Dive into the hilarious and sometimes cringe-worthy world of relationship 'icks.' Discover what turns intimacy sour, from questionable hygiene habits to post-birth surprises. Learn why certain habits, like the infamous 'dick flop,' are major mood killers. Explore listener stories that reveal just how much influence our partner's quirks can have on attraction. With a fun twist, the discussion highlights the importance of communication and vulnerability in navigating these tough moments together.
Jul 17, 2025 • 1h 6min
E217: Got the Ick? Why It Happens in Relationships + What to Do About It
Explore the cringe-worthy phenomenon of 'the ick' in relationships, where even the smallest quirks can turn love into repulsion. Discover hilarious listener stories about everything from bad breath to annoying chewing, and what triggers these feelings. Learn how 'the ick' differs from serious red flags and get practical tips on handling attraction challenges. The hosts share light-hearted anecdotes about personal hygiene and the absurdity of romantic preferences, reminding us that even quirks can spark laughter in love.
18 snips
Jul 10, 2025 • 56min
E216: The Truth About Being Passive In Bed: And How To Take Control
Ever felt awkward when asked to take control in the bedroom? You're not alone! This discussion dives into why many default to passivity and explores how men actually feel about women taking initiative. Discover how to foster open communication with your partner and engage fully in intimacy. Learn simple ways to build confidence, reframe control, and introduce a playful atmosphere, proving that taking charge doesn't have to come with pressure. It's all about balance, connection, and embracing the moment!
13 snips
Jul 3, 2025 • 56min
E215: Mismatched Sex Drive Types: The #1 Reason Couples Struggle With Desire
Explore the fascinating differences between spontaneous and responsive sex drive types that can lead to mismatched intimacy in couples. Understand how mental desire and physical arousal don't always align, and why communication is key. Discover practical tips for initiating sex that respects both partners' needs. Learn to navigate relationship dynamics without resentment, and unlock the power of touch to rekindle excitement. This enlightening conversation offers a transformative mindset shift for couples seeking to bridge their intimacy gaps.
12 snips
Jun 27, 2025 • 55min
E214: The Truth About Being Touch-Starved (Even In A Happy Relationship)
This week, the hosts unpack the power of physical touch in relationships. They discuss the concept of 'touch starvation' and its impact, revealing that many couples crave more emotional and physical connection. Listeners learn the difference between sexual and non-sexual touch, and how both are essential for intimacy. With practical tips and a quick exercise to enhance affection, they emphasize the importance of communication about touch preferences. Tune in for insights that could spark new connections!
