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Redefining Guilt
- Guilt properly means acting outside your own values and signals a need to repair or apologize.
- Many feelings we call guilt are actually something else and don't require fixing to align with our values.
Pause Before You Apologize
- Do distinguish between genuine guilt and discomfort from defying cultural expectations before apologizing.
- If your action aligns with your values, avoid apologizing and hold your boundary instead.
The 'Not-Guilt' Feeling
- There's a separate feeling when you honor your own values but violate cultural or other people's expectations.
- That feeling is discomfort, not guilt, and requires resilience rather than repair.