Jessica Pan, author of "Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come," shares her journey of transforming from a hardcore introvert to someone who embraces social interactions. She discusses the challenges of extreme shyness and her daring exposure therapy approach of engaging strangers. Listeners learn about the psychological benefits of stepping outside one's comfort zone, the power of genuine listening, and how meaningful connections can vastly improve well-being. Jessica highlights that anyone can cultivate extroverted traits for a richer life.
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Surprise Party Tears
Jessica Pan often felt different from her extroverted college friends, preferring small gatherings over large parties.
When her friends threw her a surprise 22nd birthday party, she burst into tears from anxiety.
insights INSIGHT
Introversion Defined
Introversion is an orientation towards inner thoughts and feelings, not the outer world of people.
Introverts are often withdrawn, quiet, and easily overstimulated.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Wedding Speech Regret
Jessica Pan regretted not giving a speech at her own wedding due to anxiety.
She realized the benefits of speaking could outweigh the anxiety after seeing her friend give a moving speech.
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In *The How of Happiness*, Sonja Lyubomirsky offers a detailed yet easy-to-follow plan to increase happiness. Drawing on her extensive research, Lyubomirsky explains that while 50% of happiness is determined by genetics and 10% by life circumstances, 40% can be controlled through intentional thoughts and behaviors. The book provides over a dozen uniquely formulated happiness-increasing strategies, including practicing optimism, savoring life's pleasures, and staying active. It also includes diagnostic quizzes to help readers understand their 'happiness set point' and select activities that best fit their personality, resources, and goals. Lyubomirsky emphasizes the importance of personalizing these strategies to achieve long-term happiness[1][4][5].
Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come
Jessica Pan
In *Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come*, Jessica Pan chronicles her year of forcing herself to live as an extrovert. Pan, a self-described 'shintrovert,' was feeling lonely and depressed due to her extreme shyness and lack of social interactions. She decided to challenge herself by engaging in various daunting new experiences such as stand-up comedy, solo vacations, and networking events. The book is a humorous and sincere account of her trials, revelations, and the lessons she learned about human connection and personal growth. Pan's journey involves consulting with experts, facing her fears through exposure therapy, and ultimately forming new friendships and gaining confidence.
It's Happiness Lab's fifth birthday - so as part of the celebration we're playing some of Dr Laurie's favorite episodes. The final selection attracted a lot of downloads when it went out. but also made some people mad. The Introvert's Guide to Extroversion.
Jessica Pan hated social gatherings - she cried when her friends threw her a surprise birthday party, and was even too scared to give a speech at her own wedding. Jessica was a hardcore introvert - and it was making her sad.
Extroverts find it easier to experience the joy that comes with social interactions - but that doesn't mean introverts are doomed to lives that lack such fun. Jessica read some research that suggested introverts can learn to enjoy being more outgoing - so decided to turn her social life around.
You can read more of Jessica's story in her book: Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: One Introvert's Year of Saying Yes. She is posting updates from her year of extroverting at her Substack, "It'll Be Fun, They Said" (https://jesspan.substack.com/).
The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos 
