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Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris
Fight Right: The Science of Healthy Conflict | Drs. John and Julie Gottman
Feb 12, 2024
01:06:25
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Quick takeaways
- Effective conflict styles include avoiding, validating, and volatile, as long as positive moments exceed negatives in a conversation.
- Couples face both solvable and perpetual problems, and understanding underlying emotions and values can lead to deeper understanding and compassion.
Deep dives
Key Point 1: Understanding healthy conflict vs. unhealthy conflict
Conflict in relationships can be either healthy or unhealthy. Healthy conflict involves describing one's own feelings, needs, and values, fostering connection and mutual understanding. Unhealthy conflict often involves criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, leading to alienation and misunderstanding. Conflict has a goal of mutual understanding, and effective methods are designed to achieve emotional closeness rather than distance.
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