10% Happier with Dan Harris

The Science Of Speaking Up For Yourself | Elaine Lin Hering (Co-Hosted By Dan's Wife, Bianca!)

May 15, 2024

Elaine Lin Hering, a former Harvard Law lecturer and communication expert, dives into the art of speaking up for oneself. She shares how societal pressures teach us silence and the importance of finding our voice. The conversation highlights practical strategies to communicate better in relationships while navigating the complexities of silence. Elaine outlines her four steps to assert yourself effectively and discusses the shared responsibility of fostering open dialogue. Tune in for insights on managing difficult conversations and enhancing interpersonal connections.

01:10:12

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Episode guests

Elaine Lin Hering

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Quick takeaways

Understanding the impact of silence on health and relationships, and learning when and how to speak up effectively.

Reflecting on communication patterns, negotiating needs, and expressing oneself without fear of judgment.

Running experiments and using sounding boards to improve communication dynamics, recognizing biases in cost-benefit analysis when deciding to speak up.

Deep dives

The Power of Unlearning Silence

Elaine Lynn Herring, a former lecturer at Harvard Law School, discusses her book 'Unlearning Silence,' focusing on how and when to speak up and not silence others. She emphasizes the importance of learning to use your voice by understanding the impact of silence on health and relationships. Herring highlights the need to create space for individual needs and differences while honoring human dignity and agency.

Optimizing Voice and Setting Boundaries in Conversations

04:21

The Power of Communication and Embracing Resistance

01:25

Silencing Others Out of Fear

02:00

Navigating Negotiations, Finding Your Voice, and Cost-Benefit Analysis of Speaking Up

05:19

Intro

5min

The Power of Silence and Voice

19min

Navigating Difficult Conversations

6min

Navigating Silence and Communication in Relationships

13min

Finding Your Voice Through Support and Experimentation

5min

The Dynamics of Speaking Up

26min

Navigating Parenting Dynamics

6min

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How to find your voice when you need to be heard, learn when it's smart to choose silence, and communicate better with the people who matter most.

Elaine Lin Hering is a former Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School. She works with organizations and individuals to build skills in communication, collaboration, and conflict management. She has served as the Advanced Training Director for the Harvard Mediation Program and a Managing Partner for Triad Consulting Group. She has worked with coal miners at BHP Billiton, micro-finance organizers in East Africa, mental health professionals in China, and senior leadership at the US Department of Commerce. She is the author of the forthcoming book Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully.

In this episode we talk about:

How we learn silence and self-editing
How we often miscalculate the cost-benefit when it comes to speaking up or staying silent
Elaine’s four steps to learn how to speak up and find your voice
How we can unintentionally silence others, especially those closest to us, and what to do about it

Related Episodes:

How to Speak Clearly, Calmly, and Without Alienating People | Dan Clurman and Mudita Nisker

How to Call People In (Instead of Calling Them Out) | Loretta Ross

Do You Feel Like an Imposter? | Dr. Valerie Young (Co-Interviewed by Dan’s Wife, Bianca!)

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Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/elaine-lin-hering

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10% Happier with Dan Harris

The Science Of Speaking Up For Yourself | Elaine Lin Hering (Co-Hosted By Dan's Wife, Bianca!)

Episode guests

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Deep dives

The Power of Unlearning Silence

Navigating Silence and Voice in Relationships

Using Experiments and Sounding Boards

Recognizing the Influence of Short-Term vs. Long-Term Costs in Speaking Up

Creating a Culture of Voice by Understanding Communication Preferences

Optimizing Voice and Setting Boundaries in Conversations

The Power of Communication and Embracing Resistance

Silencing Others Out of Fear

Navigating Negotiations, Finding Your Voice, and Cost-Benefit Analysis of Speaking Up

Get the Snipd
podcast app

AI-powered
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Discover
highlights

Save any
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10% Happier with Dan Harris

The Science Of Speaking Up For Yourself | Elaine Lin Hering (Co-Hosted By Dan's Wife, Bianca!)

Episode guests

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Deep dives

The Power of Unlearning Silence

Navigating Silence and Voice in Relationships

Using Experiments and Sounding Boards

Recognizing the Influence of Short-Term vs. Long-Term Costs in Speaking Up

Creating a Culture of Voice by Understanding Communication Preferences

Optimizing Voice and Setting Boundaries in Conversations

The Power of Communication and Embracing Resistance

Silencing Others Out of Fear

Navigating Negotiations, Finding Your Voice, and Cost-Benefit Analysis of Speaking Up

Get the Snipdpodcast app

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Discoverhighlights

Save anymoment

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Get the Snipd
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