Brad Stulberg On Mastering Change With Science And Stoicism
Sep 6, 2023
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Brad Stulberg, a writer and success coach, talks about the scientific basis for the need for change and how skillful action is the most effective way to deal with it. They also discuss the Case For Tragic Optimism, the importance of thinking about death, and explore the concepts of identity and self in relation to change.
Embracing change and taking skillful action can help navigate the constant changes in life.
Recognizing the distortion of time during challenging moments can provide solace and perspective.
Tragic optimism involves accepting suffering, finding meaning, and seeking support to navigate difficult situations.
Deep dives
Adapting to Change and Finding Peace
Change is a constant aspect of life, and it is important to develop a mindset of acceptance and flexibility. Tragic optimism, as coined by Victor Frankl, suggests that even in the face of suffering and challenges, one can maintain a positive attitude and find meaning. This involves accepting the inevitability of change and taking skillful actions to navigate it. The dichotomy of control, as advocated by the Stoics, emphasizes focusing on what we can control, our response to change, rather than trying to control external circumstances. Understanding that change is a natural part of life and developing a rugged flexibility in our identities and perspectives can help us navigate and adapt to the various changes that we encounter.
The Value of Perspective and Time
When faced with significant changes and challenges, it can feel overwhelming and never-ending. However, understanding that our perception of time can become distorted during challenging times can provide solace. Time can appear to slow down when we are under threat, leading to an acute perception of details. Recognizing this distortion can help us grasp that what feels like an eternity now will not feel the same way in the future. The ability to find solace in social support, incorporate routine and rituals, and accept that getting through is enough can be helpful in navigating challenging times. Additionally, recognizing that change is not solely external but also involves changes within ourselves can lead to a more adaptable mindset.
Navigating Tragic Optimism and Growth
Tragic optimism emphasizes that suffering is a natural part of life, and despite the challenging circumstances, one can maintain a positive attitude. It involves the acceptance of suffering and finding meaning through enduring and moving forward. While a growth mindset can be beneficial in many situations, it is not always applicable or helpful in the face of major traumas or tragedies. It is crucial to acknowledge that during such difficult times, the primary focus is to get through and that seeking growth and positive outcomes may not be immediately feasible. Recognizing the slow healing process and acknowledging the need for social support can help individuals navigate and endure challenging situations.
The Power of Rugged Flexibility
Developing a sense of rugged flexibility is essential in navigating the constant changes in life. This involves identifying the core values and qualities that make up our identity while being flexible in their application over time. Viewing identity as a house with different rooms allows us to diversify our sense of self and adapt to various circumstances. Understanding that change is an incremental journey and that we can learn from past experiences of change can provide guidance and resilience. Embracing the concept of assuming formlessness and being adaptable to circumstances can lead to increased resilience and a more fluid approach to life.
The importance of creating flexible boundaries
Creating flexible boundaries in our lives, similar to the banks of a river, is crucial for channeling our energy and identity. These boundaries, like our core values, provide a structure for our lives but also allow for adaptability and change. It is necessary to have something to channel our energy and identity, otherwise, we may become aimless or even experience psychosis. Boundaries should be flexible and held loosely, allowing for growth and evolution.
Embracing change and accepting the concept of self
The concept of self is multi-faceted and can be explored through various philosophical and spiritual traditions. The podcast discusses the idea that there is both an ultimate self, connected to everything and as vast as the universe, and a historical self, the self that exists in the present moment. Embracing change, including the inevitability of death, is essential. By recognizing the constant presence of change, we can develop a different perspective and reduce fear and suffering associated with change. Cultivating an interdependent sense of self, understanding the influence of our environment, and being present in the moment can help us navigate change and live more fulfilling lives.
Ryan speaks with Brad Stulberg about his new book Master of Change: How to Excel When Everything Is Changing – Including You, the scientific basis for humanity’s need for change, why all ancient wisdom traditions agree that the most effective way to deal with change is through skillful action, the Case For Tragic Optimism, why it is healthy to think of death, and more.
