Unlocking Us with Brené Brown Harriet Lerner and Brené - I’m Sorry: How To Apologize & Why It Matters, Part 2 of 2
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May 8, 2020 Harriet Lerner, a renowned psychologist and bestselling author, delves into the art of sincere apologies. She discusses the emotional barriers that hinder genuine regret and the neurobiological roots of defensiveness in conversations. Learn about the profound effects of past grievances on relationships, especially in familial dynamics. The psychology behind non-apologizers and their struggles with self-worth is explored. With engaging anecdotes and role-plays, the conversation emphasizes the healing power of sincere apologies and open communication.
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Defensiveness Strategy
- Recognize defensiveness: We're neurobiologically wired for it, so awareness is key.
- Develop a strategy: Move past defensiveness with intention and motivation.
The Power of Listening
- We prioritize talking over listening, hindering true connection and understanding.
- This imbalance contributes to communication breakdowns in various relationships and even political discourse.
Defensiveness and Apology
- Defensiveness blocks genuine apologies and hinders connection and intimacy.
- When feeling defensive, we listen for inaccuracies rather than the other person's pain.