Millie Mackintosh: “I would drink to forget” Self-esteem, shame, and sobriety
Jan 27, 2025
auto_awesome
Millie Mackintosh, an entrepreneur and author of "Bad Drunk," shares her inspiring journey through sobriety and mental health challenges. She discusses the moment she realized her drinking was harming her and loved ones. The conversation dives into self-forgiveness, coping with anxiety, and managing ADHD while dealing with addiction. Millie emphasizes the need for kindness toward oneself during setbacks and offers insights on enjoying social events without alcohol. Her experience serves as a powerful reminder of resilience and personal growth.
Millie Mackintosh discusses how her decision to embrace sobriety emerged from realizing the negative impact of alcohol on her family and personal health.
The conversation highlights the importance of self-compassion and forgiveness in overcoming shame and addressing past mistakes related to drinking.
Millie shares practical strategies for navigating social situations without alcohol, emphasizing the significance of supportive friendships in maintaining sobriety.
Deep dives
Acknowledging the Impact of Alcohol
The conversation centers around the significant effects that alcohol consumption can have on personal relationships and mental health. Millie McIntosh shares her experiences in couples therapy, where she confronted the harm her drinking had inflicted on her partner and their relationship. This moment of introspection highlights the transformation she sought, driven by her desire to be a present and supportive mother. The decision to stop drinking stemmed from the realization that her habits were not conducive to the well-being of her family.
The Journey to Sobriety
Millie's commitment to sobriety kicked off in August 2022, stemming from her growing awareness of the negative pattern of drinking in her life. She does not identify as an alcoholic but recognizes the detrimental effects of her drinking behavior. Through the process of writing her book, she reflects on the normalization of drinking culture in the UK and the silent struggles many people face, particularly women. Her narrative encourages an honest look at one’s relationship with alcohol, emphasizing personal thresholds for what constitutes a problem.
Navigating Social Situations as a Sober Individual
Transitioning to a sober lifestyle brings unique challenges, especially in social settings where drinking is prevalent. Millie discusses practical strategies for managing social situations, including determining exit points and identifying supportive friends to accompany her. These techniques help her maintain connection while prioritizing her well-being. The ability to articulate her needs and remove herself from triggering environments plays a crucial role in her maintaining sobriety.
The Importance of Forgiveness and Self-Acceptance
An essential theme in Millie's journey is the process of forgiving herself for past mistakes tied to her drinking and acknowledging the shame associated with those moments. She emphasizes the necessity of self-compassion as a component of recovery, especially as it relates to confronting memories that cause distress. Her experiences highlight that personal growth stems from understanding one’s past while working through emotional baggage. By sharing these aspects publicly, she hopes to destigmatize conversations about harmful behaviors and mental health.
Personal Growth Beyond Sobriety
The discussion transitions to broader themes of mental health and personal growth, especially in Millie's development as a mother. She reflects on how becoming sober led her to recognize her struggles with anxiety and depression, which she previously numbed with alcohol. This newfound clarity prompted her to seek therapy and support, focusing on deeper emotional healing. Millie's journey illustrates that sobriety is not an endpoint but a pathway to understanding oneself and fostering healthier connections with family and friends.
When does a coping mechanism become a problem? Millie Mackintosh talks through the big moments she realised her drinking was affecting both her own health and the people she loves.
In this chat Fearne and Millie cover panic attacks and intrusive thoughts, which can both get particularly bad when secrecy and shame are driving risky behaviours. Then, how do you start to forgive yourself for the things you’re not proud of? And how can you talk to yourself kindly when you fall back into old patterns of behaviour?
Plus, Millie explains how ADHD can interact with addiction, and what small lifestyle changes have made a huge difference to her physical and mental health.
Do you want to drink less? Fearne and Millie chat about how they learnt to enjoy social events without alcohol.
Millie's book, Bad Drunk, is out now.
If you liked this episode of Happy Place, you might also like: