Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Healing Attachment Wounds with Elizabeth Ferreira

Jan 20, 2025

Elizabeth Ferreira, an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in somatic trauma work, dives deep into the complexities of fearful attachment. She shares how early experiences craft our relational blueprints, often leaving us with a paradoxical desire for connection mixed with fear of intimacy. Elizabeth discusses healing techniques, the role of boundaries, and the importance of self-compassion. She also highlights the value of dialoguing with our inner child, navigating emotional expression, and reestablishing healthier patterns in relationships.

01:19:15

Episode guests

Elizabeth Ferreira

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Episode notes

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Quick takeaways

Healing attachment wounds involves understanding the paradox of wanting intimacy while fearing it, a dynamic rooted in past trauma.

Establishing healthy boundaries and expressing emotions like anger is crucial for individuals with attachment wounds to reclaim their voice.

Building trust in relationships requires vulnerability, self-compassion, and viewing each connection as a chance for authentic engagement.

Deep dives

Understanding Fearful Attachment Styles

Fearful attachment styles, often characterized by a disorganized response to closeness and distance, create a paradox for individuals, making intimacy and isolation equally uncomfortable. This attachment style manifests as an instinct to push away when faced with emotional closeness, leading to a constant state of internal struggle where one cannot fully trust themselves or others. The discomfort experienced in relationships can lead to a feeling of paralysis, as individuals navigate the complexities of wanting connection while fearing vulnerability. Recognizing this dynamic is the first step toward understanding how attachment wounds influence relationships and personal choices.

Intro

3min

Navigating the Complexities of Attachment

18min

Navigating Inner Dialogues and Healing Attachment Wounds

4min

Healing Attachment Wounds

15min

Reclaiming Self: The Power of Protest

8min

Sponsorship Highlights: Making Investment Effortless

2min

Navigating Attachment in Relationships

12min

Navigating Intent and Impact in Relationships

12min

Navigating Attachment Wounds and Emotional Expression

5min

Attachment wounds are emotional injuries that develop based on painful experiences with those we care about. These experiences create a kind of blueprint we carry around for how relationships work, and when that internal model is based on fear and pain, it's hard for our relationships to thrive. Somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins the show to help us understand how we can heal old wounds and develop more secure forms of relating.

Elizabeth and Forrest explore how early experiences shape our relationships, with a particular focus on a common paradox: deeply wanting connection while simultaneously fearing intimacy. They discuss fearful attachment, how Elizabeth approaches working with attachment wounds in clinical practice, complex PTSD, self-abandonment, facing our dreaded experience, setting healthy boundaries, and navigating relationships where fearful attachment patterns are present.

About our Guest: Elizabeth Ferreira is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist working in California. She specializes in somatic approaches to trauma work.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:05: Elizabeth’s personal experience of fearful attachment

7:40: Working with a therapist to heal attachment

11:55: Elizabeth’s experience learning to create boundaries

21:35: Internal Family Systems, and how to dialog with our parts

27:15: Working with our protective part, and self-criticism

31:00: Dialoguing with our inner child without a therapist

38:15: Healthy anger, grief, and patience

42:25: What helped Elizabeth be vulnerable in relating to Forrest

53:10: Disorganized moments, identifying needs, and taking in the good

1:00:20: Intent, impact, and reasonable limits

1:05:20: Becoming your own secure attachment figure, and healing in community

1:09:10: Recap

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