Send us a textEver heard the stat from “a recent study” that found that, when a husband comes to Christ first, in 93% of cases the wife and kids follow, but when the wife comes to Christ first, it’s only 17%? Today Beth Allison Barr and Miranda Zapor Cruz, both academics looking into gender relations in church, join me to try to track down the source. Spoiler alert: People seem to have made this up about 30 years ago—and they keep quoting it! We look at what happens when churches assume this stat is true.OUR SPONSOREver, AJ: Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases. These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditional case, or you can also buy purses and wristlets. Makes a great gift too!TO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith InitiativeAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!THINGS MENTIONED:Miranda Zapor Cruz’: The Myth of the 93% Julie Roys’ podcast with Amanda CunninghamTim Clinton ClipDanny Akin citing the “stat” Josh Howerton clip (around 20:15)J.D. Greear clip The Baptist Press articleThe Orthodox Barbie clip The Christ Church of the Valley handbook with the “stat” Matt Chandler saying he preaches to men:  (around 36-37 minutes)ABOUT MIRANDA ZAPOR CRUZ:Find Miranda Zapor Cruz on Facebook Order her book Faithful Politics ABOUT BETH ALLISON BARR:Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

David and Amanda Erickson, authors on parenting rooted in scripture and science, share insights from their book 'The Flourishing Family'. They discuss the importance of compassionate parenting, emphasizing emotional intelligence over fear-based discipline. The couple critiques traditional views on obedience, advocating for deeper trust over mere compliance. They challenge spanking as a disciplinary method, highlighting the benefits of nurturing connections. Ultimately, their conversation fosters a vision of parenting that reflects grace and nurtures a positive understanding of God.

Send us a textThe evangelical world has an orgasm gap of 47 points between husbands and wives. Only 48% of women orgasm almost always or always, and 33% orgasm never or rarely. The good news is that if you're in that 33%--you can still get to the 48%!Today Rebecca and I look back at all the other episodes we've talked about orgasms, and have a great time discussing how we can learn to help couples prioritize her pleasure!THE ORGASM COURSEIt's on sale until Monday, September 23 at midnight! When you purchase the regular course, you'll get the men's version added for free!TO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!Things Mentioned in the PodcastThe Great Sex RescueEpisode 74: You're Not Broken if Orgasm Is ElusiveEpisode 92: All about OrgasmsEpisode 129: Where Emerson Eggerichs Ignores Marital Rape (and doesn't understand women's arousal)Episode 222: How Sex Is Like Chef BoyardeeEpisode 168: The Myth of the Magic PenisJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Send us a textWe know it’s not all men who are predators. But it’s far too many. And a recent horrible court case in France is reminding women all over the world that far too many men are willing and eager to do the unthinkable. The only way to tell who is safe is to look at their words and their actions. And the words of far too many evangelical leaders and authors and pastors are straight up rape culture. After what happened to Gisele Pelicot, I’m not willing to put up with it anymore. No more Every Man’s Battle rape culture mindset in the church! TO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!LINKSOur Sponsor:Rebecoming: Come Out of Hiding to Live as Your God-Given Essential Self. This amazing book is one of the best I’ve read to explain basic counseling concepts, and gives you practical exercises to work through as you try to get unstuck. Highly recommend!Things MentionedThe 7 Point Evangelical Confession of 2024Josh Howerton’s sermon clipA synopsis of the horrible ordeal of Gisele PelicotThe Great Sex RescueThe Great Sex Rescue ToolkitThe Every Man’s Battle one sheet downloadCoinswallow's post on InstagramCheck out Sheila's books:The Great Sex RescueShe Deserves BetterThe Good Girl's Guide to Great Sexand The Good Guy's Guide to Great SexAnd she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido couJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Dr. Merry Lin, a therapist specializing in helping people move past feeling stuck, joins the conversation to dive into themes from her book 'Rebecoming.' They tackle complex topics like trauma and attachment theory, making psychological concepts accessible. The discussion highlights the importance of self-awareness in managing emotions, especially in faith contexts. They also explore unhealthy relationships, focusing on co-dependency and the journey of personal growth through community support. Listeners are encouraged to engage in self-reflection for transformation.

Karen Stiller, an insightful author focused on holiness and personal growth, shares her journey through faith and grief. She discusses redefining holiness in everyday life, emphasizing its manifestation in actions and relationships. The conversation delves into navigating self-image struggles, fostering genuine community in worship, and finding holiness amid chaos. Stiller also reveals how her experiences with loss have shaped her understanding of faith, encouraging listeners to embrace both joy and pain as essential parts of their growth.

Send us a textSheila and Rebecca are answering your questions today! We covered how to find a new church when you feel like church has let you down; how to start your sex life well; what to do when people don’t think purity culture was harmful; and so much more! And we throw data and nuance into the mix too.HELP US OUT AFTER THE HACKING!Please follow OUR NEW FACEBOOK PAGEIf you see a Facebook page called Endlessly Stories with weird images—that is our old page. Please report it!OUR SPONSORIt's the Bible that lets girls see themselves in the story! The Kingdom Girls Bible from Zonderkidz--with profiles of all the women in the Bible (including many you may not have heard of!). It's an awesome Bible for girls 8-12--or for you too!TO SUPPORT USJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Join our email list!LINKSDownload our rubric and scorecard for the problematic booksCheck out our Toolkit with handouts on all the toxic teachings, and moreThe Good Girl’s/Good Guy’s Guides to Great Sex (make them the engagement gifts!)The Great Sex RescueMy Instagram Channel where all the questions came fromLast week’s podcast on authoritarian controlPodcast from a Pelvic Floor PhysiotherapistJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Bethany Jantzi, an expert on coercive control, delves into the unsettling parallels between toxic marriage advice and manipulative tactics found in cults. She highlights how certain marriage books promote psychological dependency, suppress critical thinking, and encourage compliance—all warning signs of coercive control. Bethany critiques the dangers of rigid marital roles and emphasizes the importance of recognizing emotional abuse, advocating for women's autonomy and the need for healthier marital dynamics within faith communities.

Send us a textThe Excellent Wife by Martha Peace sells like hotcakes in biblical counseling/ fundamentalist/ homeschooling circles, and even though it seems like a “fringe” book, it’s affecting tens of thousands of women. Today Marissa Burt and Tia Levings and I sit down to talk about the problems with this book that tells women they must obey their husbands and submit—no matter what.Our Sponsor:It's the Bible that lets girls see themselves in the story! The Kingdom Girls Bible from Zonderkidz--with profiles of all the women in the Bible (including many you may not have heard of!). It's an awesome Bible for girls 8-12--or for you too!To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!Things Mentioned in the Podcast: Download our Onesheet on The Excellent WifeOur podcast on how Emerson Eggerichs misuses Scripture in Love & Respect Marissa’s post on 10 reasons parents have a hard time giving up spanking 4 Concerns with Biblical Counseling About Tia Levings:Tia’s book, The Well-Trained Wife Find Tia on Instagram  and Substack (as The Anti-Fundamentalist)Listen to last week’s podcast with TiaAbout Marissa Burt:Find Marissa on Instagram  and X Read Marissa’s SubstackJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Tia Levings shares her powerful story of escaping an abusive marriage rooted in fundamentalist beliefs. She discusses the damaging impact of evangelical teachings on self-worth and relationships, emphasizing the need for honest storytelling. Tia reflects on the trauma surrounding misconceptions of consent and highlights the cycle of abuse perpetuated by toxic ideologies. Her journey of self-discovery pushes against societal expectations, advocating for healthier views on love and spirituality. Her insights are both riveting and relevant for anyone seeking to break free.