TOP SELF | Tips on Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships

Sometimes to get out of a rut, you have to shake things up a bit and changing your perspective on the way you think and communicate about your jealousy might be just what you need.In this episode, Shanenn discusses 3 different areas you could shake things up as it pertains to jealousy.Reframe your approach in both your communication to your partner and your thoughts about how big it is and acknowledge that jealousy may always be present in you to some degree, so you will start by just focusing on instances when it heavily impacts your relationship. Many people are embarrassed to even talk about their jealousy.  She encourages you to consider how you are talking about your jealousy to your friends and be intentional about what you want from your friend out of the conversation about your jealousy.  And if you really want to step outside the box and take the first step to open up, engage with others in the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group. Keep in mind jealousy is not all of you. It is just a small part of you and there is so many other positive things you bring to the relationship.  Shanenn encourages you to write those things down as a reminder to yourself that jealousy is not all of you.  It’s not who you are, it’s just something you need to manage.Ultimately, this episode aims to empower individuals to reframe their perspective on jealousy, understand their own worth beyond this emotion, and seek support and understanding from like-minded individuals in their journey toward overcoming jealousy.Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Dr. Joli Hamilton, a relationship coach and research psychologist, known for her expertise in the field of jealousy joins the show today.Her research explores the archetypal nature of emotions and their purpose, with a focus on jealousy in both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships.If you still feel embarrassed about your jealousy or continuously ask yourself "Is this normal or is this my jealousy?" then today's episode will mot likely hit the spot.Dr. Hamilton and Shanenn discuss:reframing your perspective on jealousy and recognizing its wisdom, to develop a healthier relationship with this emotion.discuss Dr. Hamilton's qualitative research that supports many participants reported feelings of shame and embarrassment related to their experiences of jealousy.the concept of the psychological shadow, where aspects we reject or suppress become a source of embarrassment.the importance of connecting with others who also experience jealousy, as it helps individuals feel understood and validated.Dr. Hamilton also shared something that blew my mind that I hadn't previously considered that non-monogamous individuals are more likely to anticipate and normalize jealousy as a potential outcome of multiple partners, fostering open conversations about it.She encourages individuals in monogamous relationships to reevaluate their perspectives on jealousy and recognize its presence as an opportunity for growth and self-reflection.Get Dr. Hamilton's Free 5-Step Resource. Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Today's episode is all about change and I have an exciting announcement of changes coming to the podcast for you.In this episode, I talk about  the topic of change and its role in personal growth and transformation.  Since your brain is wired for comfort,  change can be both fearful and uncomfortable, as it often requires letting go of familiarity. We have a strong desire for certainty which can keep us stuck and afraid to embrace change.Stick through this episode to hear the exciting changes coming to the podcast as well as the 4 steps to create transformational change in your lifeEpisode highlights:Self-belief and confidence in one's abilities can help navigate through change and adapt as needed. Change is fundamental for personal growth and breaking free from stagnant perspectives.Embracing change opens doors to new experiences and broadens one's perspective.  Individuals themselves holds the power to make incredible things happen and create positive change.Email your rating to sbryant@yourtopself.com on a scale of 1-10 on the following:CareerRomantic RelationshipSelf-Worthand let me know what you think would make it a 10.  I'd love to hear from you!Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Guest Reneau Peurifoy shares a fascinating look at emotions, exploring their nature and impact on our lives which he has been researching for over the past 50 years which lead to his most recent book "Why You Feel They Way You Do" which I know we ALL want the answer to.In this episode he: explores what emotions are and the exciting new findings emerging from affective neurobiology that will blow your mind!explains that memory and behavior function more like a muscle that needs exercise rather than a program that can be deleted.highlights two categories of affects: sensory affects, such as heat and cold, and homeostatic affects, which drive actions to maintain balance in your life.reveals that there are 7 basic affects or emotions shared by all animals, including humans.  Pssst... one is called Seeking and is particularly important o understand as a Jealousy Junkie.shares that boundary-setting and learning appropriate limits can vary due to individual experiences and upbringing.discuss the danger circuit, which triggers the feeling of threat, leading to anger and fear responses. By exploring emotions and understanding their origins, individuals can gain insights into their own emotional responses and work towards managing them effectivelyThe importance of practice, self-reflection, and experiencing positive outcomes in changing negative patterns and developing healthier behaviors and Peurifoy doesn't disappoint and provides listeners with a deeper understanding of emotions, their role in human behavior, and practical insights into fostering happiness.Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

You are so consumed with trying to figure out if your partner is telling you the truth, you are ignoring the lies you're saying about your partner and to yourself.Self-awareness is the key to growth so if you want transformation, if you want to make changes to your life, you have to become more aware of your habits.Unfortunately, your habits possibly 5 lies I see jealousy junkie tell themselves all the time.In this episode I will:Discusses the importance of being mindful of the lies we tell ourselvesEmphasize the need for honest self-reflection and accurate informationExplain how blanket statements hinder decision-making and confuse the mindtalk about getting honest about the effort you're putting in to changeIt's time to stop worrying if your partner is lying, take a hard look at the lies you're telling and start prioritizing the truthSchedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Are you embarrassed and ashamed of where you came from?  Where you grew up?  How you grew up?  I certainly was and for most of my life I lead with that shame.  it made me think everyone was better than me.  I made me feel that I couldn't ever be more than I was.You may feel that way too and some of it may feel like its coming true.  Maybe you're having a hard time getting a better paying job or you think your dream home is just that... will always be a dream or you just feel bad about the WAY YOU FEEL.Today's episode is about letting go of that shame and embarrassment.  How you were raised means nothing about how worthy you are. Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Have you joined the Dump the Junk Program yet?  What are you waiting for?  The doors are closing VERY soon.Today's episode is so exciting for me because not only did I get to interview two women who are listeners of this podcast, but they were beta testers for me for the Dump the Junk Program.  Most importantly though, after spending 6 weeks with them going through the program, they have a very special place in my heart.Hear the struggles they've gone through in their relationship, what their experience was like in the program, and how things are going for them now.Join the Dump the Junk Program today.  Doors close Tuesday, April 25th at 9:00 PM Eastern Time.Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

When it comes to jealousy and our insecurities, oftentimes, the first thought your brain serves up to you in wrong.  It's a default thought.  One your brain has been serving up to you for years.So long, in fact, you consider it to be law, to be 100% factual when in reality, it may not be.  Our initial thoughts tend to be smaller, weaker thoughts that could use a little help from time to time.An important skilled that can be learned through consistent practice is questioning your initial thought and brining in a stronger, more powerful thought.  One that will help you move forward in a positive direction.  One that has you stretching and thinking past your initial first-degree thought or default thought.Make sure to stay until the end of the episode as I have a new program announcement called Dump the Junk that I know you will want to be a part of.Click the link here to enroll in the Dump the Junk program.  Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

He's been on the Larry King Now show, Dr. Drew, Fox and Friends and now the Top Self podcast!This episode's guest is transformational speaker and best selling author, Kute Blackson and he's here to help you understand and move closer to the magic of surrender.As jealousy junkies, we have a strong feeling to control.  Control our environment, and our partner's environment in an attempt to protect ourselves.As you'll hear from Kute, when we control, we actually give up our power.  We feel more insecure, more afraid, more in a scarcity mindset.I think this beautiful line from his book sums it up:  "Surrender is the invitation to take all limits off of life so magic can happen. More than you can imagine, more than you could ever plan, more than you could ever fathom".That is what I want for you.  More than you could ever plan and more than you could ever fathom.Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Is the attractive person sitting next to your partner at the dinner table a tiger?  No, of course not.  But yet, you respond with fight or flight mode as if it's life or death.You hate being uncomfortable and probably have never learned or practiced how to sit with uncomfortable.When you feel jealous, you want that feeling to go away as quickly as possible, and by any means possible, often leaving your partner and anyone around with the uncomfortableness of your actions as you try to relieve yourself of those jealous feelings.This episode give you a couple things to incorporate and practice to learn to create more space between when you feel jealous and when you act jealous.  Open that space to create some time to calm down so you can respond properly to how you are feeling and why.Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.