It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

The slap heard around the world. Obviously this was a high conflict situation, but was it a one-off incident resulting from a highly stressed person, aka Will Smith? Or two highly stressed people, Smith and comedian Chris Rock? Or did either of them show signs of a potential high conflict personality?In this episode, Bill and Megan break it down.What could have been happening just before Will walked on stage?What impact did Chris Rock’s responses have on Will and on the situation?Were both of them exhibiting high conflict behaviors? Is there a history on either side showing a high conflict pattern?Did Chris use what ultimately was an EAR Statement?Were the consequences effectuated by the Academy effective?If not, what should happen to effect actual change in high conflict behavior?This is a behind-the scenes exploration into what could have been happening with Will Smith in this situation. We don’t diagnose. We don’t blame and shame. We just explore and focus on what to do next.Links & Other NotesBOOKSCalming Upset People with EARARTICLESCan High Conflict People Change?Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:23) - The Slap Heard Around the World (07:28) - Background (08:53) - Recognize and Adapt (12:06) - Chris Rock (14:00) - Breaking Down the Responses (19:15) - What Happened Next (23:12) - Consequences (29:56) - Wrapping Up (30:41) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Guest Amanda Smith

Continuing from the previous episode, Bill and Megan take a listener question about a high conflict situation in the workplace. Specifically, what do you do when actual high conflict people in management turn the “Bill Eddy” skills around and use them with others who are not high conflict.Megan and Bill explain how their new Conflict Influencer™ Certification program can help in situations like this.Links & Other NotesCONFLICT INFLUENCER™ CERTIFICATION COURSEBOOKSIt’s All Your Fault at Work: Managing Narcissists and Other High Conflict PeopleARTICLESGetting to the Root of Conflict in Employment CasesAre High Conflict People Ruining Your Business?Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:22) - High Conflict Certification Course Recap (02:29) - Listener Question: HCPs in Healthcare (21:48) - The Course (29:31) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: More BIFF

This podcast discusses high conflict situations in the workplace and introduces the Conflict Influencer certification course. They explore the rise of workplace conflicts during and after the pandemic and the impact of individuals with high conflict personalities. The High Conflict Certification program offers tailored solutions for managing high conflict situations, including online videos and live labs. Organizational level training is emphasized for addressing complex behavior and creating a happier work environment.

A diagnosis of bi-polar disorder can be both devastating and liberating. Although such a diagnosis is unsettling because of the lifetime implications, it can also be a relief to have an answer and hope for a calmer future.In this episode, Bill and Megan are joined by Dr. Jay Lieberman, a retired surgeon in the podiatry field who was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder later in life than most — at age 60. As one might expect, his professional and personal life took some major hits after some harrowing events that wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t been suffering with an undiagnosed mental illness.Dr. Jay shares his journey – in a very transparent way – through the impacts of his behavior on his marriage, his career, and other relationships. It’s a journey marked with significant loss, but also with a great deal of new life, new purpose, forgiveness, and hope. Listen in as Bill and Megan talk with Dr. Jay about:the similarities and differences between bi-polar behaviors and high conflict behaviorsdomestic violence and incarcerationmedicationswhat and who were most helpfuladvice for members, friends, and colleagues regarding someone who may be exhibiting “high conflict” behaviors, whether from a bi-polar diagnosis or with a high conflict personalityhelping othersLinks & Other NotesGenieBee PublishingNational Suicide Prevention LifelineNational Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)BOOKSCalming Upset People with EARARTICLESEAR Statement Can Calm Anyone7 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People During This CrisisOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:51) - Meet Dr. Jay Lieberman (23:59) - What Worked (27:30) - High Conflict with Bipolar (32:44) - Extreme Behaviors (35:26) - Domestic Violence (36:03) - When It's Family (37:50) - Don't Tell Them Directly (38:51) - Respect and Suspect (42:56) - Dr. Lieberman's Book & Wrap Up (44:30) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: High Conflict in the Workplace

Putin hasn’t stopped, as we predicted, and it doesn’t look like he’s going to stop. Is that because he’s backed into a corner? Because he’s trying to save face? Or because his malignant narcissism (yes, that means his narcissism grows over time) won’t allow him to stop?Bill and Megan continue their discussion about what has become one of the worst disasters not only in modern times but in all recorded history, driven by a man who is willing to do what 99.9999% of the rest of the world would never do. In our work we teach that high conflict people do things that 90% of other people would never do. In this case, it’s even more extreme. Although there are other malignant narcissists as political leaders across the globe, he’s the only one engaging in actions that 99.9999% of other people would never do.Listen as Bill and Megan discuss:what makes a malignant narcissist and whether Putin fits the description (although we’re not diagnosing him)what stops a malignant narcissistwhether Ukraine’s President Zelensky handling Putin’s narcissism in the correct mannerwhether NATO and other nations are handling Putin’s narcissism in the correct mannerBill’s book Why We Elect Narcissists and Sociopaths and How We Can Stop written in 2019 (he’s not different now in 2022, he’s just worse)the fantasy triad and whether/how it applies in this escalationhow much of this bad news is harmful for us to watchLinks & Other NotesBOOKSWhy We Elect Narcissists and Sociopaths ― and How We Can Stop5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeARTICLESPutin Attacking Ukraine: Is this Malignant Narcissism? If so, Can We Predict His Future Actions?How High-Conflict Politicians Turn Peace into WarOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:36) - Week Three (03:17) - What Is a Malignant Narcissist? (08:27) - Will He Stop? (10:15) - Suicide? (12:17) - Manipulations (15:11) - Zelensky's Leadership (16:36) - How Everyone's Handling Him (19:10) - Bill's Research for His Book (23:20) - How This Affects Us (28:57) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Dr. Jay Lieberman

Putin’s attack on Ukraine. Why is he doing it? What drives him to act with such ferocity to destroy a county, innocent civilians, children? In this episode, Bill and Megan discuss whether Putin is a malignant narcissist, what that means, and whether his future actions can be predicted with this knowledge.To get insight into this personality type and how it manifests in Putin’s framework, listen in as Bill and Megan discuss The Heart of Man: Its Genius for Good and Evil by Erich Fromm wherein Fromm explains malignant narcissism in leaders, along with these important notes:What do malignant narcissists want? Do they want unlimited power over others?Are malignant narcissists unusual and rare? Or do we find them in the workplace and in political leadership?Why is this happening now? Does Putin think he can get away with what he’s doing?Does he have the ability to stop himself?What is needed by Ukraine and by the world to stop him?This is one of our most important episodes — one that everyone should hear to gain an understanding of the realities of what the world is dealing with and what, if anything, can be done to stop him.Links & Other NotesBOOKS5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict PersonalitiesWhy We Elect Narcissists and Sociopaths―and How We Can StopARTICLESPutin Attacking Ukraine: Is this Malignant Narcissism? If so, Can We Predict His Future Actions?‘Yes, He Would’: Fiona Hill on Putin and Nukes: Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (02:30) - What is Malignant Narcissism? (06:11) - Diagnosis in public... for the public good. (09:47) - Have there been signals in public? (16:05) - Gaslighting (19:30) - The Nuclear Option (23:04) - What can we do? (25:36) - Why is this happening now? (27:20) - Ukranian Leadership (29:41) - Final Thoughts

In this episode, Bill and Megan discuss the use of EAR Statements to calm current conflicts experienced by people across the globe. Anger, accusations, and opinions flying everywhere. People having conversations that most would have not engaged in a few years ago but now seem to be unable to stop themselves. Megan starts off with a recent example from the show ‘Sister Wives’ about the need for the use of empathy in relationships and conversations.Bill explains what an EAR Statement is and how to use them in various scenarios in every day life, such as:reducing political polarizationarguments over vaccines, masks, and social distancing during this pandemicfamily and marital conflictcurriculums in your children’s schoolslaw enforcement encountersprotestscustomer serviceListen in and learn how to use EAR Statements in any walk of life.Links & Other NotesBOOKSCalming Upset People with EARARTICLESEAR Statement Can Calm Anyone7 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People During This CrisisOur websiteSubmit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes on our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:41) - EAR Statements (04:25) - What Is EAR? (08:30) - EAR in a Non-High Conflict Situation (09:47) - Today's Conflicts (13:38) - An Example (16:09) - Using EAR in Today's Conflicts (20:31) - Using EAR Calming a Protest (27:05) - Listener Question (30:24) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Guest Dr. Jay Lieberman on Being Bi-Polar, with Domestic Violence

If you are curious about love and romance with challenging – or even toxic – partners, this is your opportunity to hear questions from our listeners and Bill’s and Megan’s answers. In this episode, they answer questions about:partners who make life hell for awhile and then can be okay and very loving for awhileextreme jealousy and whether it’s okay to allow partners to read your private texts and emailsthreats of financial and reputational ruin when the romance is about to endthreats of suicide to prevent a partner from breaking uplack of empathy as a sign of someone with a high conflict personalitywarning signs in the Jodi Arias caseMegan and Bill answer these questions and more in this final episode of the Dating Radar series.Links & Other NotesBOOKSDating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to "The One" Who Will Make Your Life Hell5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeDATING RADAR TEST & SURVEY RESULTSCOURSEConversations About Domestic Violence in Family Law with 16 Experts: A 6-PART VIDEO SERIES on Domestic Violence (DV) / Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) best practices in the family law environment in the United States and CanadaARTICLESDating Radar: Your X-Ray Vision In A New RelationshipPossible HCP kills former boss, insures lawyer after mediationSubmit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:49) - Dating Radar Q&A (02:18) - Question 1 (04:47) - Question 2 (10:49) - Question 3 (19:22) - Question 4 (22:40) - Question 5 (26:21) - Question 6 (32:09) - Final Thoughts (34:03) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: The Current Conflict Atmosphere

Watch Those Blind Spots!The very qualities that help us fall in love can at the same time be the on-ramp for the highway to hell. Avoiding a high-conflict relationship requires looking beyond attraction, chemistry, availability & compatibility, and recognizing your own particular blind spots.Bill and Megan talk about three types of ‘blind spot’ fact-finding and how to understand how your vulnerabilities can blind you.Links & Other NotesBOOKSDating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to "The One" Who Will Make Your Life Hell5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeDATING RADAR TEST & SURVEY RESULTSARTICLESDating Radar: Your X-Ray Vision In A New RelationshipSubmit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:46) - Avoiding Toxic Relationships a (03:20) - Why Our Brain Says Yes (04:25) - Low Self-Esteem (06:03) - Loneliness or Grieving (08:08) - Naïve Beliefs (12:36) - Mistaking Warning Signs for Love (27:18) - Last Thoughts (34:34) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Dating Radar Q&As

In the first episode of this Dating Radar four-part series, Megan and Bill discuss how people with high conflict personalities (HCPs) can destroy your life. In this episode, listen in as they discuss how HCPs jam your radar. We’d all like to think we’re wise to it, but there are several factors that make us susceptible, which Megan and Bill discuss.They delve into a Dating Radar survey with over 650 responses from people who have been in high conflict romantic relationships. Respondents shared their experiences and lessons learned, including the “spark” that should have been a red flag but was experienced as a sign of true love and compatibility. And Bill and Megan also discuss the issue of fake compatibility often experienced by those who fall for HCPs.This series is for everyone, but especially for young people or parents of young people who need to pay attention to dating radar before it’s too late.Links & Other NotesBOOKSDating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to "The One" Who Will Make Your Life HellARTICLESDating Radar: Your X-Ray Vision In A New RelationshipDating RadarDATING RADAR TEST & SURVEY RESULTSSubmit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (02:09) - Dating Radar (03:50) - Survey Question – That Spark! (09:18) - The Power of Desperation (11:54) - Charm (16:15) - Compatibility (18:29) - Overt Sexuality (22:22) - Protectiveness (27:05) - Other Attractive Qualities (29:50) - Quick Tips (31:30) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Blind Spots